How To Have Incredible Oral Sex
on 30 Jul 2021
Go down, give head, lick out, suck off, give a mouth job, give a blow job - however you refer to cunnilingus (on her) and fellatio (on him), oral sex is one of the most satisfying and intimate sexual acts you can perform on, or receive from, your partner.
However, performing oral sex on your partner can be stressful - as can receiving oral sex - and at Lovehoney we often receive questions asking how to have better oral sex.
From enjoying receiving to improving the taste of your orgasm, here are our top 10 tips for giving and receiving better oral sex.
10 Top Tips For Amazing Oral Sex
1. Relax into receiving
If you feel nervous or self conscious about receiving oral sex then you aren’t likely to enjoy it as much. So long as you’re clean, there will be nothing down there to be embarrassed about so learn to let go of your inhibitions. Being intimate is nothing to be ashamed of and oral sex is a perfectly normal act.
If you find it hard to switch off, close your eyes or indulge in some soft bedroom bondage. Handcuffs, restraints and blindfolds remove your sense of responsibility so any embarrassment or shame will melt away, leaving you to enjoy your partner’s oral skills.
2. Keep it clean
Fears about personal smell and taste are the biggest inhibitors when it comes to enjoying oral sex. To ensure your partner is their most relaxed, perform oral sex after they have a bath or shower. They’ll feel much more confident and will enjoy your efforts more.
3. You are what you eat
If you’ve ever eaten a certain fuzzy-monster’s brand of cereal then you’ll be aware that what you eat affects your inner workings. As funny as it can be to wee the smell of honey-covered wheat grains, it also gets you wondering about what else is affected by your diet.
There is some scientific debate as to whether your diet affects the way your sexual fluids taste. Some studies would suggest that there is a correlation, but these tests are based on short-term diets and a simple ‘taste test’. Many argue that sexual fluid taste-tests produce psychosomatic effects and scientists are quick to point out that as environmental factors and lifestyle are excluded from these tests, the results have little to no merit. Whether or not you can change your sexual flavour is still very much open for debate.
Within the hotbed of speculation, advice appears to be fairly consistent with the same consumables accredited as being good or bad for sexual fluids in both men and women. The best way to find out is to conduct your own experiments with your partner.
Things that make you taste better
Drinking two litres of water a day; pineapple, cranberries and sugary fruit; parsley; celery; cinnamon; cardamom; peppermint.
Things that make you taste worse
Smoking; caffeine; alcohol; cauliflower, broccoli and asparagus; processed foods and ready meals; strong spicy food; too much dairy, meat and fish.
For people with penises, it’s also worth remembering that regular ejaculation will help your semen taste better. Both the testicles and prostate accumulate fluids, so ejaculate after a period of abstinence will taste less pleasing.
The likelihood is that unless your partner has mentioned your taste is unpalatable to them, you really have nothing to worry about. Even then, flavoured lube can easily fix that.
4. Try Flavoured Lubes and Flavoured Condoms
Wet sex is better sex, so every bedside table should come equipped with a selection of sexual lubricants to match the sex acts you enjoy. Lots of lube tastes a little odd, so to avoid a mid-romp rush to the bathroom it’s worth investing in a tasty bottle of flavoured lube.
Flavoured lube works in exactly the same way as regular lubricant, they just taste that much better. The range of flavours available is immense with most lubricant brands offering more than one flavour. Try a top-rated crowd-pleaser like the Lovehoney Strawberry Flavoured Lubricant to begin with.
Flavoured lubricants can be applied at any point during oral sex but it’s better applied beforehand or you may make your partner think they taste bad. Even if that is the case, making them aware that you think that will really dampen the mood.
Applying your flavoured lube during early foreplay is the sexiest way to make oral sex better without offending your partner. Apply some to your fingers, drizzle it along your partner’s body and lick your way to action or apply it directly to your tongue.
For safer oral sex, use flavoured condoms or flavoured dental dams which come pre-loaded with tasty flavoured lube and can be topped up during oral.
5. Direct the action
The best way to find out what feels good for your partner is for them to tell you. Feedback is vital if you want to receive the best possible oral sex, so open up and learn to direct your partner so they spend more time doing what feels good and less time doing what feels not so good. If you pretend you’re enjoying oral sex when you’re not or give no feedback at all, your partner won’t know how best to please you, making oral sex less satisfying for you both.
6. Don’t just concentrate on the obvious parts
Be sure to involve all of your partner’s sexiest spots during oral sex instead of lavishing all your love on the clitoris or glans (head of the penis).
When performing oral sex on a penis, be sure to include the length of the shaft, testicles, perineum (between their balls and anus), frenulum (thin piece of skin between the head and shaft of the penis) and meatus (urethral opening) as well as the head of the penis. Circle the meatus with your tongue and run it back and forward over the frenulum to increase sensitivity, these two spots are particularly alert to the sensations your tongue can create.
Use your hands and fingers to cradle the testicles, gently massage the perineum, massage the lower shaft or circle the anus while you lick and suck the penis.
When performing oral sex a woman, be sure to include the inner labia, the length of the clitoris and clitoral hood, and the vagina. Only a very small amount of a woman’s clitoris is exposed. This area is the equivalent to the whole head of a man's penis with the clitoral hood acting like a foreskin.
The clitoral nerves extend back into the hood and when a woman has a clitoral erection, you will be able to feel that the clitoris extends much further back than you imagined by placing your finger on the clitoris and tracing along the clitoral hood toward the body. Gently licking the length of the clitoris can be much more pleasurable than only concentrating on the tip. The clitoral nerves also extend into the inner labia, so spend some time licking her sensitive inner lips.
Penetration during oral is one of the most intensely satisfying sexual experiences for a woman. Slide a couple of fingers gently in and out of her vagina as you lick their clitoral areas or use a classic vibrator, dildo or other insertable sex toy to stimulate their sensitive internal spots.
7. Control the suction
Lots of oral sex guides talk about the merits of sucking on the penis or clitoris during oral sex, but there is a fine line between pleasure and discomfort.
Men tend to enjoy suction whereas many women prefer no suction at all, finding their clitoris is too sensitive, but the same can also be true in reverse with men finding sucking on the glans too intense to be pleasurable and women enjoying a good clitoral vacuum.
When experimenting with suction during oral, start off very gently and gauge your partner’s reaction so as not to ruin the moment.
8. Vary your technique… but don’t ruin the moment
It’s good to vary your oral sex technique to keep things interesting, but a deviation can spell disaster on the approach to climax. Take a tactical approach to variation by starting slowly and spending longer kissing and massaging your partner with your tongue and lips. Treating oral like a long, sensual kiss will increase anticipation and improve sensitivity, resulting in a better orgasm. When it comes to that climactic moment though, follow your lover's cues and "don't stop, don't stop, don't stop!".
9. Perfect your position
When most of us go to give oral, we opt for our partners on their backs while we nestle between their open legs. Shake things up to improve your oral angles.
Have your partner stand while you drop to your knees to pleasure them. This is great for those who enjoy a little power play and also offers some great angles for lavishing attention on the testicles and vagina. It’s often wise to have a wall nearby to fall against when things hot up.
The 69 sexual position is great for mutual oral sex but can be hard work for the partner on top or cause things to be a little warm and humid for the partner on bottom. Lie side by side while you 69 to make the experience more comfortable for both of you.
Kneel down and place your hands onto the wall or hold onto the bedstead while your partner lays beneath you or crouches in front of you. Using your arms to support your weight during oral will help you in the best position for your partner without suffocating them or giving them neck ache.
10. Use a sex toy to boost oral sex sensations
If he wears a vibrating cock ring during oral sex, the sensations he feels along his full length will feel more powerful. Some cock rings also include a vibrator just for the testicles, meaning both his shaft and his testicles are receiving some attention while you concentrate on lavishing his penis with attention.
For her, use a bullet vibrator to tease her while you dart your tongue in and out or use a dildo or vibrator to penetrate her while you concentrate your oral action around her clitoris.