How does being attracted to a trans or non-binary person affect your definition of your sexuality? Our Head Board guest author, trans woman and plus size model Shay Neary, is here to share her words of wisdom on trans attraction and sexuality.
Because of a fundamental lack of understanding of gender structure and identity, we're sometimes mystified by the matters of attraction - especially when it's in regard to TNBGF* individuals.
Part of the problem is that we tend to look at gender as if it were like a single pair of shoes, in which you have only left or right, and nothing in between.
But gender identity is more like the entire shoe deparment, with an enormous array of individual styles for you to choose from based on what you feel most comfortable in and what most suits your individual tastes.
So how do you navigate the world of dating a trans person?
*transgender/non-binary/gender-fluid individuals.
Picture the scene: the lights are dimmed, the candles are lit - and someone pulls out the silky satin restraints.
If you and your partner have decided to make your BDSM debut, then congratulations are in order! It’s great that you’ve found someone else who is on your wavelength and is up for some sexploration.
What could kill the mood slightly, however, is if you tie up your lover and then stand there staring awkwardly, while your lover lies there and just stares right back at you (also awkward).
Before you whip the handcuffs out, the best thing to do is plan your scene together. Planning will help clarify what sort of play turns you both on, what activities are off the cards, and what your safe word will be.
But exactly how do you plan sex, and keep it sexy? Here's 7 things to do with your partner (ranked from mildest to wildest) now that you've got them tied up.
Somtimes, sex can be very awkward. It’s unfortunate, but it’s true. When you’re naked and getting it on with your partner, whether it’s your long-term squeeze or a one-night stand, a single wrong line can kill the mood entirely.
Of course, if you’re super comfortable around someone there’s nothing wrong with some jokes and giggles during sex, but if it’s a new partner or you don’t know them particularly well, knowing where the boundaries are isn't always so simple.
So to help you avoid any awkward silences in the place of heavy breathing and contented moans, I’ve put together a list of some of the most cringey, awkward, and uncomfortable things that you should definitely never say in the bedroom.
Got any of your own? Be sure to add them to the comments!
The sight of sex toys shouldn’t leave you quaking in your briefs or quivering in your knickers - at least not in a bad way.
A humongous number of happy Lovehoney customers are in relationships and have actually found sex toys to be a wonderful boost to their bedroom antics. Whether it’s a bullet to share, or a specifically designed couple’s gadget, sex toys should be a sizzling addition to your sexual antics, not a replacement for your partner.
In fact, many toys are specifically designed to pleasure both partners simultaneously.
Here’s a breakdown of the best toys for using with a partner.
Giving up control isn't always easy to do, but it can lead to lots of fun – especially when it comes to sex.
Discreet, versatile, and super fun to play with, remote control sex toys are one of our favourite inventions aside from Netflix (although, we should probably take a moment to appreciate the creator of Netflix, what a legend).
Opening up a world of sexual opportunity, remote control toys challenge your ability to keep calm and carry on – even with things not at all calm down below.
They're also an easy way to introduce outdoor adventures into your sex life, and explore power play without restraint.
Lovehoney has an unbelievable variety of remote control sex toys on offer, and here are some of the ways you can use them!
Why a Magic Wand?
'Cause they're magic!
As well as being magical, wands are wonderfully versatile and can be used for all sorts of play, from romantic massage right through to kinky fetish fun (and everything in between).
They're a great non-intimidating introduction to bedroom accessories, particularly for couples who'd rather steer clear of anatomical toys, and offer loads of play options without looking like a body part.
Plus, with just a couple of attachments in your midst, a wand can bring the pleasure of several toys, in one neat package.
This allows you to explore a whole world of pleasure, without dedicating your whole wardrobe to sexy products.
(Not that there's anything wrong with that!
*Admires bedside unit spewing with dongs*)
Positive Vibes are your go-to feel-good sex toys - just look at them!
With non-intimidating shapes, fun and positive patterns, and multispeed vibrations, they make amazing starter toys, or excellent additions to existing collections. Not only are they spreaders of joy, confidence and legs (cheeky), they are super affordable and make great gifts.
We can’t help but smile when we look at them and we reckon you will too. If you’re still a little concerned about sex toys, we’re confident this blog about confidence will change your mind. So without further ado…
Why are sex toys amazing for your confidence?
Sex toys are amazing - full stop. But when it comes to upping your sexual confidence, they can make a real difference. From orgasming for the first time, to improving your communication abilities, here are some of the ways a sex toy can boost your confidence.
We all know that being naked is pretty great, but what about the getting naked part?
If your undressing style consists of an under-the-covers fumble or you prefer the rip-off-your-clothes-and-go technique, we suggest you try slowing things down a little for a change. And maybe add some music.
Terrified? Stick with us.
The idea of being the centre of attention in the buff is, quite literally, lots of people's idea of a nightmare.
Anyone else have those dreams where you turn up to work/uni/your mother in law's wearing nothing but your knickers?
Ok, so it might be a bit of a challenge, but stripping for your partner can be unbelievably hot.
We've put together a handy guide to help boost your confidence and have your lover's heart pounding.
The clitoris is quite fairly seen as a nexus of sexual pleasure for women.
Everyone has their own tips and tricks for getting the most out of clitoral stimulation, but what is often overlooked is the huge number of people out there with more sensitive clits.
For those of you who fall into this camp direct, extreme clit stimulation can be overwhelming, but this doesn't need to be a hindrance.
As with everyone's body, the pleasure attainable from sex and masturbation all comes down to knowing your body and what works for it.
So I've picked out some of the best vibrators to help you avoid over-stimulation.
