12 Sex Experts Share Their Best Ever Sex Tips
on 12 Apr 2012
As the sexual happiness people, Lovehoney asked 12 leading sex and relationships experts to reveal their all-time best sex tips - those guaranteed to increase intimacy and improve your sex life.
With scores of best-selling books and thousands of hours of research under their belts, these sexperts gave away their best kept secrets for a stronger relationship… and steamy sex!
From foreplay and oral sex techniques, to sex toys, and keeping your relationship fresh and exciting, it's time to discover new ways to lavish affection and attention on your partner.
When you've finished reading the sex tips, why not vote for your favourite in our poll in the right hand column?
"For the fastest, most intense blow job he's ever had, use your hands as an extension of your mouth. Be amazed if he lasts five minutes when you place your thumb and forefinger against your lips and use your hand to stroke while simultaneously fellating him -- this would be the three minute - or less - blow job. For a one minute wonder, lubricate your hands, grip them around the base, and with your mouth at the tip, create a tight tunnel of love to stroke him. Make your strokes vigorous and repetitive (don't break your rhythm for anything), but subtly twist your hands in opposite directions as you go up and down - you are literally "wringing" the orgasm out of him."
Dr Sonia Borg
"My all time best tip for couples is to focus on each other's sexual response cycle. It is so important that I incorporated in every scenario of all my books. Studying your partner's sexual response cycle is like a crash course on them and their sexuality. Everyone is different in what they like sexually and what makes them go, 'BOOM'. Studying your partner's breathing patterns, what their body does and when, where they like to be touched, how they like to be touched, timing, temperature, pressure, and the thoughts and sensations that carry them from arousal to orgasm is what will take your sex to the next level. Not only is it the key to being a great lover, but for maximising your own pleasure."
"Have a dirty weekend away every six weeks. It doesn't have to be expensive, just take you somewhere the dishes, kids and bills aren't. If you can't manage a weekend, aim for one night. There are tons of cheap hotel rooms to be found on discount travel websites, take advantage of them. A survey of US counsellors said time away cures 90% of couples who say they're in a sexual rut.
Don't point fingers. It's not 'their' problem if your partner wants sex less or more than you do. If you both have different libidos, deal with it - it's no one's fault. Finally, think of your sex life as a bank account. You need to make regular deposits to keep the balance healthy. "
"It’s easy to get caught up thinking that you need to be like porn star to please your man, but after spending 9 years in the sex industry working as an escort I was pleasantly surprised to find that the most pleasures I gave men were based on very basic intimacy and what they sought the most was a tactile partner who made them feel desired. It was also great to work with a range of escorting agencies, a good one is escort ireland.
To have the best sex you need to be in tune with your partner, be tactile, inquisitive and have a genuine desire to please and be pleased. My top tip is to look him in the eye. It really is super important and a massive turn on for him. If you look at your man whilst you are having sex with him, touching him, sucking his cock; you will connect with him. It’s very powerful and makes your experience much more intense."
Dating coach, intimacy and infidelity expert and author (The Girlfriend Experience), Rebecca Dakin.
"Be clean. The intoxicating scent of soap dramatically increases the chance of sex, particularly if you get into the habit of showering before you go to bed rather than when you get up in the morning. Be polite. Never nudge your partner’s head towards your nether regions. Be responsible. If she brings the pill, you bring the condoms. Be honest. If you want him to stimulate you for longer or in a different way, speak up. He is not telepathic. Be gentle. The clitoris is incredibly sensitive and direct pressure or repetitious friction can be painful. Be consistent. Sexual gymnastics are often very distracting. Be persistent. Clitoral orgasm is relatively easy to achieve but most women want and deserve to experience penetrative orgasm – even if it takes all day. Be a gent. It takes longer for women to get aroused so a ‘ladies first’ policy will ensure that she comes too."
Sex and relationships expert, author (Sex Counsel) and columnist for The Times, Suzi Godson.
Ian Kerner Ph.D
"Get cliterate! The clitoris is the powerhouse of the female orgasm. With 18 parts (both internal and external) and twice as many nerve endings as the male penis, it's also able to produce genuine multiple orgasms. The clitoris is largely on the surface of the vulva rather than in the interior of the vagina and responds to stimulation more than penetration.
Start off slow and rhythmic and gradually add more pressure to the area just above the clitoral head. And remember, the tongue is mightier than the sword."
Sex counsellor and author (She Comes First: the Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman) Ian Kerner Ph.D.
"The best sex tip I can give is to invest in a vibrating cock ring, these little miracle workers can revolutionise your sex life in one easy step. A cock ring will benefit both partners, for her there's the sensual vibrations and for him, well he'll enjoy a harder erection, that lasts longer and leads to a more powerful climax, great fun all round!"
"My advice for women and men is pay attention to your partner! Your attention is the most seductive thing you can give someone and only you can give it. We need attention to validate us and that attention can be in the form of validation for great results at work, or acknowledgement / recognition in a sport or the attention from another person. Taking your partner for granted in a relationships can be a slippery slope and, baby, if you're not paying attention to your partner someone or something else will."
Author and sex educator Lou Paget.
"For women, it would be to have a love affair with your ladybits. Learn what stimulation suits you best, and enjoy regular self-loving sessions to boost your sex drive, as the more sex we have the more we want. Then you can share and show what turns you on most with your partner.
And if your sex life has lost its sparkle, I'd advise scheduling in a time for sex each week which you put in your diary and both stick to. Don’t worry about the lack of spontaneity - the anticipation of your date can actually be great foreplay in itself. And make love even if you don’t feel like it. Once you get started, you soon will…"
Actress, TV presenter, author (The Greatest Sex Tips in the World) and sexpert Julie Peasgood.
"My ultimate sex tip is a little trick called the Venus Butterfly move - no, not the vibe of the same name (though that works wonderfully), but a no-holds-barred fingers and tongue assault on 'her' pleasure places.
Try with thumbs on her clitoris, first two fingers in her vagina, remaining fingers in her anus… or mouthwork on her clit with fingers in her G spot while the other hand is in her rectum. But actually, any combincation of fingers, tongue, vibrator, butt plug… the crucial thing is to make sure she gets continuous stimulatin of vagina, clitoris and anus all at the same time."
Relationships psychologist and author Susan Quilliam.
Dr Trina Read
"Research shows that when a man goes into a sexual situation, he expects to orgasm; whereas a woman doesn’t. I believe this sets the debilitating precedent that women don’t feel comfortable asking for what she wants in bed.
Here’s what women want to say to their partners, 'I want you to pour me a bath. I want you to rub my back, give me a glass of wine and have a heart-to-heart. I don’t want intercourse to follow, unless I’m in the mood and decide at that point it would be fun. ‘Sex’ tonight is about you nurturing me.'
I fundamentally believe once men understand the new ‘rules’ they are more than happy to accommodate. Unfortunately, (and here’s the crux) the average gal is unable to speak what she wants, so she doesn’t get what she wants and is sexually unhappy."
Sexologist, best-selling author (Till Sex Do Us Part) and speaker Dr Trina Read.
Dr Pam Spurr
"Apart from probably the best ‘foundation’ tip - that is to always say what you want and ask, ask and ask again what your partner likes - I recommend the simple blindfold. It holds so many pleasures from sensuality to sex-play around power and control.
Take turns being blindfolded and allowing your partner to touch you in different ways. To help each other feel secure and let go the lights should be dimmed and you should already be a bit turned on from foreplay. You can turn this into a hot little guessing game where you have to guess whether they're touching you with a fingertip covered in luscious lubricant or the tip of their tongue.
Take it to the next level and do some role-play with one of you blindfolded. A perfect fantasy to play-out is the blindfolded partner is the ‘captive’ and the other is the ‘mistress’ or ‘master’. Have fun experimenting with these roles and relish teasing each other to the point of no return with loads of touching but full climax isn't allowed… yet! Enjoy!"
Sex and relationships expert, author, (Sex Academy) and agony aunt Dr Pam Spurr.