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6 Positions for Mutual Masturbation: How to Go Solo...Together!
on 6 Sep 2024
One thing we wished you’d learned in sex ed is that sex doesn’t have to be penetrative to “count”. Whether you’re in a queer relationship or actually struggle to enjoy penetration, there are plenty of ways to get fun and sexy with your partner that don’t involve P in V... and mutual masturbation is one of them.
It may not be the world’s sexiest term, but don't be fooled! It can still be super hot. Here’s your ultimate guide to becoming masturbation’s new power couple.
What is mutual masturbation?
That’s easy. Mutual masturbation is when you and your partner masturbate simultaneously. You might be lying side by side or in different post codes, the important thing is that you’re touching yourselves together (and having an awesome, intimate time). It can be part of your foreplay or replace penetrative sex altogether.
Couples choose mutual masturbation for all kinds of reasons. You might be in a long-distance relationship and rely on phone sex to get intimate. One of you might suffer from a condition like vaginismus that makes penetrative sex painful. Sometimes, going solo together is just faster than having sex (you know, easier to squeeze in between various weekend plans).
Either way, masturbating together is basically a master class in understanding how your partner likes to be touched. It’s great for voyeurs too, as you get to see how your partner enjoys solo play on their terms. You can use your hands or introduce sex toys, depending on the kind of play you’re after.
How to enhance mutual masturbation
6 mutual masturbation sex positions to try
Let's Talk About...
Feeling a little shy the first time you masturbate with a partner? Let's Talk About... is for you.
How:
You and your partner sit at either end of a sofa and face each other, holding each other's hand and maintaining direct eye contact as you begin masturbating.
Keeping eye contact with your legs open might feel intimidating at first, but with time it can be liberating and intimate. With this full frontal view, you'll easily discover what turns your partner on. Plus, the seated position is ideal for those who need a little extra support.
Face Off
This one's for when you know each other better, or simply like being up close personal. Let's try Face Off.
How?
Lie next to your partner and bring your faces close together. You can hold hands or go for an arm around the shoulder as you snuggle in close.
The proximity adds to the anticipation and heightens the sexual tension, bringing you close enough to kiss while you play. The reclined position makes it easy to teach your partner how and where you like to be touched, or reach over and give them a helping hand.
Float My Boat
To really set things alight, try out Float My Boat. This one challenges you to keep your hands off one another, while giving you an incredible view of your partner's body.
How?
One partner lies on their back, while the other sits opposite them. Spread your legs and entwine them with your lover's as you both touch yourselves. If you're on the floor and you don't love the selfie-camera angle (we get it), just pop a pillow under your head.
Keeping your hands off each other while tantalisingly close will send the sexual tension through the roof. Like all the best mutual masturbation positions, you get to admire each other's body while learning how you like to be touched.
Take the Lead
Spice up your play with Take the Lead, a sex position that's perfect for couples who want to explore light bondage for the first time.
How?
You and your partner kneel on the floor and face each other, maintaining direct eye contact. One of you wears a collar, while the other holds the lead in their hand.
Whoever's got control of the lead can either demand to be touched exactly how they like it — or tell their lovely sub what to do to themselves.
In a loving, respectful environment, the Dom/sub dynamic is an exciting way build trust and deepen your connection while you explore each other's fantasies.
Squat Strokes
The Squat Strokes sex position makes proximity and sensual touch the name of the game.
How: Squat or kneel, whichever's more comfortable, and face your partner. Start by caressing each other's thighs and arms, before moving onto the torso. Go soft and slow as you look into each other's eyes.
Bring the temperature up from hot to scorching as you challenge yourselves not to kiss each other. When you can't resist the temptation any longer, begin stroking and rubbing each other's genitals.
This one's even more fun when you use a wand vibrator to intensify your strokes and tease each other's erogenous zones.
Two Turtle Doves
Two Turtle Doves is perfect for sitting back, cuddling up with your partner, and sharing your frisky feelings for each other.
How?
You can do this one in bed when you first wake up or next time you're home alone on the couch. Get propped up with cushions as you lean back next to each other and cuddle up close.
Everything else on this list has been all about eye contact, but this one works even better if you close your eyes and relax. Listen closely to your partner's breathing and don't be afraid to let your moans out as you listen out for climax.
Tips for explosive mutual masturbation
If your partner usually likes to get straight down to it, tell them you want to try something new. Asking them to wait while you start touching yourself will be a tantalising switch in power dynamics.
Try these solo sex tips next time you’re slowing things down together:
Turn off the lights. You may be ‘lights on’ people when you’re doing your regular thing, but if it’s your first-time masturbating together and you’re feeling self-conscious about being watched, try a little mood lighting. That way, there’s no spotlight on anyone, leaving you free to relax and enjoy the moment.
Open the toy box. You may know exactly how to touch yourself to finish quickly, but couple’s sex toys can show you sensations you’ve never felt before. A simple bullet vibe can leave you trembling as you tease it over your entire body and erogenous zones. Or you could choose who gets all the power with a remote-controlled vibrator or prostate massager.
Get wet. Lube is always a good idea because it reduces friction while enhancing the good sensations. It helps you last longer and keeps any discomfort at bay. Add one or two drops of orgasm gel if you like it intense.
Catch a movie night. By movie, we mean ‘adult movie’, of course. Watching porn together could help you explore each other’s fantasies and desires, bringing you even closer together. It also gives you a shared focus if you’re self-conscious, taking the pressure off.
Say something dirty. If you’re already into dirty talk, this will come naturally. If not, start simple by saying something like “you look so good when you do that” or “I’m getting wet/hard just looking at you”. Hearing that from a loved one can be a confidence booster and a turn-on.
Try a blindfold. Hey, the eye contact can get intense. Plus, closing your eyes or using a blindfold will heighten other sensations and help you focus while you pleasure yourself.
Leave your expectations at the door. Another thing they don’t tell you in sex ed is that pleasurable sex is just as worthwhile even if neither of you orgasm. There’s no pressure to “finish” when you self-pleasure together, it’s all about exploring sensations and intimacy together.
More advice for better sex:
