How to Use a Vibrator for Top-to-Toe Pleasure

In this guide: Types | How to use solo | How to use with a partner | How to charge it | What are the benefits? | FAQs

You've probably heard some major myths about vibrators. Like the one about how they were made to “cure” hysteria, or that overusing them can desensitize your clitoris. The truth is there’s no evidence to suggest Victorian doctors masturbated women with vibrators* and nor can you go numb from too much vibe time (not permanently anyway).

In fact, vibrators can be phenomenal when it comes to experiencing more fulfilling pleasure. This guide will talk you through how to use a vibrator for self-pleasure or with a partner – with expert advice and techniques to make sure you have even more fun getting off.

*The Myth of the Victorian Vibrator, The Vagina Museum Podcast (2021)

Only got time for a quickie?

If you've got time, read on for all our best tips to get the most out of your vibrator. In rush? Here's everything you need to know in a nutshell:

• Get relaxed and aroused. All kinds of play feel better when you’re actually in the mood. A dash of water-based lube can help too, reducing friction between you and your toy.

• Try it out on your hand or inner thigh on a low setting first. When you're used to the sensations you can start playing with the intensity and trace your toy around your vulva and clitoris – or even your nipples.

• Switch positions if you're not really feeling it. Some prefer to be on their knees or straddling a cushion.

• Add a vibe into partnered sex for added fun and intimacy. Especially if you need clitoral stimulation to come. Try using your vibrator while riding your partner in Reverse Cowgirl or take turns using it on each other.

• Always clean your toys after use! If your toy is waterproof, all you need is warm water and mild soap. If not, best to use a clean, damp cloth and a spritz of sex toy cleaner.

From targeted clitoral tickling to thrumming against your G-zone, you can get vibrators designed for different kinds of stimulation. Here’s what to expect from each one:

• Bullet vibrator: For external use only, this toy delivers vibrations with finger-like precision and surprising power. Tease nipples, inner thighs, and clitorises – or trace your bullet along the shaft and frenulum of the penis. Want to know more? Our guide on how to use a bullet vibrator is a good place to start!

• Clitoral suction vibrator: The sensation is reminiscent of good oral sex, using little pulses of air to pleasure the clitoris without contact. All you need to do is place the circular head over your clit and let the settings do the rest. If you can't quite picture how they work, check out our how to use a clitoral vibrator guide.

• Rabbit vibrator: The internal arm focuses on your G-spot, while the external arm pleasures your clitoris for squirt-worthy sensations. You can enjoy both at the same time or start by teasing your clit before sliding the internal arm inside with plenty of lube. Check out our guide to know more: How to Use a Rabbit Vibrator.

• Wand vibrator: The OG vibrator with a magic touch. The broad head means you can use it for massage or to explore multiple erogenous zones across your body, while the long handle makes it accessible for those with wrist and hand pain or fatigue. Grind against it to your heart’s content, but they’re usually not for insertion.

• Vibrating love egg: These egg-shaped beauties snuggle against your G-zone for wearable pleasure that’ll leave you squirming at the dinner table. Hand over the controls to your long-distance lover to make phone sex all the more interesting.

• Vibrating butt plug: A good plug will have a tapered tip and flared base, so you can slide it into your anus (with loads of lube). The anus has lots of nerve-endings that can be pleasured by vibrations, plus lots of people go wild for the “full up” feeling of wearing a plug during penetrative sex.

Yes, you can get vibrators with all sorts of bells and whistles, but you don’t need to overcomplicate it, especially if you’re fairly new to toys. The best sex toys for women are thoroughly tested, body safe, and offer targeted stimulation to your preferred pleasure zone.

First time using a vibrator? Your body might take a while to get used to the sensations or intensity, so don’t worry if you don’t climax right away. Instead, focus on making the build-up as delicious as possible. That way, you can slowly introduce different techniques and find out which ones tip you over the edge. Here’s how:

1. Get to know your vibrator

Before you let your vibrator get all up in your sensitive bits, take a minute to familiarise yourself with it. There’s nothing more annoying than pressing the wrong button when you’re mid flow. Read the manual to find out how to turn your vibrator on and off, how to switch between different vibration patterns and speeds, along with cleaning instructions.

Give yourself plenty of time to practice cycling through the settings and trying out different intensity levels on your palm or inner thigh. That way, you’ll know what to do when you take that thing for a test drive.

2. Seduce yourself

Get comfortable – on your bed, your couch, whatever you prefer – and get yourself going. We find dimming the lights can help if you’re self-conscious or stressed out. You can also play music or listen to an erotic audiobook as you slow your breathing and start to tune into your body.

Try building some anticipation by stroking yourself all over or simply getting naked and rolling around in bed. Caress your nipples, inner thighs, or anywhere that gets you going. “Touching different erogenous zones before using a sex toy helps signal to your body that you’re getting ready for sex,” says Annabelle Knight, sex and relationship expert.

“This helps build desire and anticipation, which is a fundamental part of arousal. It can help you feel present in the moment and lead to more intense pleasure,” she continues. It can also help your muscles relax and your vagina begin to lubricate, which will make penetration more pleasurable (if that’s the plan).

3. Drizzle on some lube

“I’d recommend using lube for any kind of sexy play,” says Annabelle. “Water-based is best, as it won’t damage your sex toys. It’s compatible with toys and condoms, it’s easy to wash off, and won’t leave stubborn stains on your bedsheets.”

Lube reduces friction and makes toys glide more easily over your skin. Even if you’ve got a vagina, which can self-lubricate when you’re aroused, a dash of water-based lube on your toy and your vulva will make everything feel slicker. Don’t be afraid to re-apply if your session goes on for while...

4. Pick a position

The go-to self-pleasure posish is lying on your back. This can feel relaxed, but it might not give you the angle you need to get off. Sitting or kneeling can feel totally different, since you have more control over your hip movements and you can press down to grind on your vibrator.

Some people prefer straddling a pillow for more support, plus it can feel like you’re riding someone (or something!) which helps set your imagination on fire. Gyrate your hips, rock them, or push back for (comfortable!) pressure. This might feel erotic in its own right, but it’ll also increase blood flow to your pelvis which can boost arousal.

5. Start with low vibrations

When you know your body well, you can take few shortcuts to come quickly and feel that fast release. But taking your time, teasing and building your pleasure slowly can create more powerful orgasms. It can also build your sexual confidence as you discover new sensations and learn what you like.

For a slow, delicious build up, start with low vibrations on a light setting. If that’s still too intense, you can keep your underwear on as a light barrier. Got a rabbit vibrator that offers dual stimulation? Use one part at a time, pleasuring your clitoris with the external arm before you tease the entrance to your vagina and slowly slide the internal arm inside.

5. Combine different sensations

If you’ve exhausted the highest setting, and you’re hungry for more, you can use your hands, body position, or another sex toy to slowly increase pressure or introduce another sensation. Try stroking the nipples or labia while your toy delivers targeted vibrations to the clitoris or G-spot.

Stimulating multiple erogenous zones may lead you to a fabled “blended orgasm”, which can feel more intense and long-lasting, rolling over the body in waves. Next time you play, you could stick a suction-cup dildo to a tiled wall or wooden chair. Slather it in lube, and slide on top while your vibrator gets to work on your clitoris.

You can also press your bullet vibrator or wand to your perineum (be careful! These toys aren’t for internal use) while your fingers are busy in the front. The perineum is the soft, sensitive area between your genitals and butt hole. When you stimulate it with a vibrator, this can send delightfully stirring sensations to the vulva (or shaft, if you happen to have a penis).

6. Try it with a mirror

Have you ever watched yourself cum? It’s really something. If you’re feeling shy, consider this sex ed at any age. Many people don’t know what their own vulva looks like, so using a handheld mirror can orient you up close.

Even better, you can splay yourself in front of a larger mirror and take in the whole vista! This can be a sexy, confidence-boosting exercise that might even benefit your relationship with your body.

“When you watch yourself masturbate, you get a visual stimulant that can be incredibly hot,” Annabelle explains. "Not only are you normalising the sight of your naked body, but you might even create a positive feedback loop as you associate it with pleasure.”

7. Clean your toy after every use

It’s all too easy to get caught up in the moment and leave cleaning your sex toys to next time… don’t do it! Good hygiene protects your body from harmful bacteria and preserves the longevity of your toy.

Check the manufacturer's guidelines before cleaning your vibrator; it helps to know if your toy is fully submersible or only splashproof before you clean up. In most cases, you can use a spritz of sex toy cleaner or warm water and unscented soap. Leave your vibrator to air dry thoroughly before storing it in a cotton or satin bag, away from direct sunlight.

Bringing a partner in on the fun is a brilliant way to bond, explore sensations together and take things up a notch. Here’s how to make it fun and non-intimidating:

• Communicate: Before you open up the toybox, have a chat about what kinds of toys you’re both interested in. Shopping together can be a way to get to know each other better and build anticipation.

• Same strokes for different folks: Bullet vibrators and wand massagers can be used on both partners to tease different erogenous zones. Since wand massagers are bigger and more powerful, use these for longer play sessions or to ease muscle tension while you get relaxed and ready for sex. Try pressing it gently against your partner’s perineum or frenulum (banjo string) if they have a penis.

• Get really, really wet: Sex with a partner tends to last longer, so lube is essential. Even if you have a vagina, your natural lubrication can dry up after a few minutes. Meanwhile, some lubes even come with pleasure-enhancing ingredients for a warming or tingling effect.

• Stack sensations: Combine sensations for even more pleasure. Wear a vibrating cock ring to tease the clitoris during penetration, or try a vibrating butt plug to increase pleasure during oral sex (you’ll thank us later).

• Take your time: What’s the rush? Prioritise teasing with strokes and light touches on erogenous zones with a vibrator while exploring dirty talk and eye contact. Build anticipation by steering clear of the penis or clitoris until you just can’t take it anymore!

• Let them watch: You can use toys together (sexy) or simply... let them watch you (very sexy). Show your partner exactly how you like to play with your toy. Keep it mutual (they masturbate at the same time) or kinky (they’re not allowed to masturbate until you say so).

• Choose a vibrator-friendly sex position: Doggy and Reverse Cowgirl are great for use with vibrators as there’s lots of space between your bodies. Just remember to check in with your partner for consent before you flip it and reverse it.

• Try a wearable vibrator: If you just love Missionary or you’d prefer nothing to get in the way, you could try a vibrator that’s designed to be worn during sex. We-Vibe has an excellent range of couple’s toys made from body safe, silky silicone that are small and flexible enough to insert during penetration.

A good vibrator will give you around 90 minutes of run-time per charge. Elisabeth Neumann, sexologist and user researcher at Lovehoney, has tips on how to safely charge yours. Here’s what she recommends:

• Charge before you use it for the first time. That way, you’ll have a full charge to get to know your toy and start exploring.

• Always use the dedicated charging cable. Your vibrator should come with a charging cable included by the manufacturer. Stick to using the right cable, otherwise you might stress the electronics.

• Charge regularly. Sex toys often use lithium-ion batteries which don’t last if you regularly let them drain until they’re completely flat. Charge yours after a long session and avoid letting it drain completely.

If your toy is battery-operated using disposable batteries, be sure to take batteries out between uses and keep an eye out for any changes to the material, temperature and shape of your toy. If anything changes, smells chemically or bloats, then stop using at once. Get more safety tips in our beginners guide to vibrators.

You already know that vibrators can feel good when used to tease your sensitive erogenous zones. They’re a fun way to explore pleasure either on your own or with a partner. They may also have some surprising health benefits:

• Vibrators could help to improve your pelvic health by sending out increase blood flow to your pelvic region.

• Improved blood flow can boosts your mood and lead to even better orgasms.

• Orgasm is known to improve sleep for some people, too.

• Vibrators can make pleasure more accessible to those with disabilities. Pick one with a long-handled if you struggle with mobility or fatigue.

• For people who have sexual trauma or dysfunction, vibrators can help reconnect body with pleasure and give a sense of agency.

• Using a vibrator with a partner can open you both up to more sexually fulfilling, intimate experiences that increase your romantic bond.

Get your post-orgasm glow

Okay, pleasure seeker, you’re ready to lock the door and get close and personal with your vibrator. The most important thing to remember during self-pleasure – with sex toys or otherwise – is there’s no pressure. It’s just you and your body, and the point is to feel good. Even if you don’t come, no worries! If you’ve enjoyed touching yourself, that’s the main thing.

Vibrators can offer sensations that our hands (or partner’s body parts) can only dream of, so it’s always worth giving one a try. Even if you’re in a relationship, a vibe can be used to enhance your pleasure. You might even feel more connected by exploring something new together and learning about how each other’s bodies respond!