What is Pegging?

Can anyone peg (or be pegged)?

Anyone can enjoy pegging or being pegged, no matter their sex, sexuality or gender identity. If you already have a penis, you can peg and be pegged. Whether you go by he/him she/her or they/them — there are zero gender role rules about who gets to explore this sexual practice.

When Dan Savage first coined the term “pegging”, he wanted a word to describe a heterosexual cis woman penetrating her male partner with a sex toy. But a lot has changed since then. Now, the definition of pegging has expanded to be way more inclusive.

With the help of a hollow strap-on, men can try pegging too. It can be appealing if you have erectile dysfunction or want to experiment with bigger penis size or girth. Some women also prefer to use hollow strap-ons because they’re much lighter than regular silicone dildos.

What does pegging feel like?

The truth is, pegging can feel different for everyone, depending on the type of sexual experience you're looking for. That said, if you have a prostate (also known as the male g-spot), pegging can be an incredible way of stimulating it.

The prostate sits around two inches inside the rectum and is stimulated by anal penetration. This means that stroking or massaging it with fingers and sex toys can be intensely pleasurable (and even beneficial for your health).

Anal penetration isn’t only for men though. A lot of women enjoy anal too, as it can make orgasms feel even more intense. One reason for that may be that it stimulates the back of the vaginal wall. Whether or not that’s true for you, anal play can be a very intimate, sensual, and exciting experience for women.

Pegging can make you feel powerful and dominant, while being pegged can feel like a thrilling act of submission. Some straight men are surprised to find out how intimate it is to be penetrated, enjoying the closeness they feel with their partner. Pegging might give you a sense of gender euphoria as well as mind-blowing orgasms.

How to peg your partner

If you think pegging (or being pegged) is for you, then it's time to learn how to do it. Follow our step-by-step guide for pegging beginners below.

1. Start by talking about it

Hey, bringing up a new desire with your partner can be a little scary. But if you’re excited to try pegging, you’re more likely to intrigue your partner if they fully understand what pegging is and why you find the idea so sexy.

Even if everyone’s onboard, talking about before you begin can keep you safe. “With strap-ons, it's hard to really judge how deep, fast and hard the giver is going,” says LIL_KNOWN69 on the Lovehoney forum. “You need to have honest communication until your boundaries have been established.”

Before you bring out the strap-on, discuss ground rules and expectations with your partner, especially if this is your first time giving anal sex a go.

2. Choose your equipment

One of the fun things about pegging is there’s a version for everyone!

If you're a little bit nervous about the size, or don’t want anything that feels too “penis-y”, this beginner-friendly strap-on kit is perfect for learning the ropes. It has an adjustable harness and a five-inch pegging dildo to ease you in. When you're feeling more confident, you can swap out the dildo for something more advanced, like a double penetration strap-on.

You also don’t always have to put the “straps” in strap-on. Some people find it difficult to get used to harnesses with straps. So, you could take a look at harnesses that fit more like briefs for a softer (and, dare we say, stylish?!) fit.

3. Be generous with lube

No pegging kit is complete without lube. Why? Because, unlike the vagina, the anus doesn’t make it’s own lubrication. Without lube you’ll likely experience some discomfort and pain and trust us, nobody wants that!

Water-based lubes are perfect for silicone toys (like most pegging dildos) as they protect the silicone material and are easy to clean up.

4. Keep it clean

Keeping your toys clean is essential. Clean toys will help protect you from bacteria that can cause issues like thrush. If you’re sharing toys, keeping them clean will also reduce the risk of spreading STIs.

Always check the cleaning instructions in the manual, but most pegging dildos can be washed with warm water and a gentle soap. For best results, a sex toy cleaner will keep your toys fresh and long-lasting.

5. Enjoy the foreplay

Never. Skip. Foreplay!

Seriously, foreplay does so, so much more than fill the time between now and penetrative sex. Foreplay helps our bodies to relax, giving you time to become complete aroused and ready to explore.

Anal sex isn’t something to rush. It’ll be way more pleasurable if you’re relaxed and comfortable with the sensations. To get warmed up, try a playing with a butt plug first. Or, try stroking the area, using lubrication to help smooth things along before trying penetration with a finger.

“The number one thing is to start slow,” says MisTery on the Lovehoney forum. “Listen to your body and your partner and use heaps of lube.” She also recommends using a smooth textured, slim dildo if it’s your first time.

When you progress to penetration and start picking up the pace, be sure to check in on your partner. If everyone is enthusiastically consenting and having good time, keep riding, cowboy!

6. Explore different positions

There’s no rush, so take your sweet time exploring all the pegging positions you like.

To begin with, missionary is a great position for you to control depth and pace. If you want to kick it up a notch, try lying on your front or side for even more pleasure.

If you're both feeling ready, you can move on to other positions like doggy style or spooning for more intimacy. Maybe you’ll want to introduce a little vibration? Or wrap around to stroke their penis.

Keep exploring until you find a position, pace and depth that feels good for you and your partner.

Ready to try pegging?

If you’re still not sure if you’re ready try pegging, try chatting to Lovehoney’s A.I.ssistant. It’ll give you personalised recommendations on everything from how to bring it up with your partner to what strap-on to try first.

Otherwise, here’s a recap of what we just learned:

• Talk to your partner about pegging and establish clear boundaries.

• Get a sex toy that suits the type of sex and sensations you're hoping to feel. Do you want to feel full? Maybe you want internal vibrations or external clit sucking.

• Indulge in the foreplay to make sure your body and mind are ready for penetrative sex.

• Take your time picking a position that works for both of you.

• Always check in with your partner. Are they having a good time? Do they want to take a break?

• Stop if you or your partner feel pain, or if they ask you to.

Frequently asked questions about pegging

Is pegging gay?

You don’t have to be gay to like pegging or being pegged. And trying pegging won’t “turn” heterosexual men or women gay. However, if pegging elicits homosexual feelings, there’s nothing wrong with that. Any new sexual experience is an opportunity to get to know yourself or your partner better and should be celebrated, provided it’s fun, safe, and consensual.

Do women enjoy pegging?

They do! Women can enjoy being pegged and pegging. Some women enjoy the powerful feeling of pegging their partner (or the thrilling submission of being pegged). For others, it can be an incredibly intimate and sensual experience. However, no two women are the same. What's right for one isn't right for the other. This is why it's always good to have conversations about pegging before you whip out the strap-on.