Now for some culture. Here's a paragraph from Wikipedia about female ninjas: "these women, or kunoichi as they were called, were given special training in psychological skills and intuition. Taught to manipulate men high-up in the enemy hierarchy, they were known to conceal blades inside musical instruments and sex toys." Ouch.
Someone's got a problem at University of Miami paper The Hurricane Online:
"Dear V, Where do I begin? I've always considered myself a regular guy-I drink, party, play football…but I have a big problem. I think I'm addicted to my girlfriend's vibrator."
As you can imagine, the response is just to calm down and enjoy it rather than worrying if it makes him "gay". Vibrators are fun for everyone…
We blogged New York's Museum Of Sex a while ago - turns out Miami is not to be outdone and now boasts its own World Erotic Art Museum. Opening on October 16th, the museum claims to be the greatest collection of erotic art in the world. The WEAM website is a bit sparse at the moment, but we live in hope that they'll be bringing a full virtual representation of their collections online soon for us to ogle. All in the name of art, natch. Meanwhile, the Erotic Book Shop has its own cheeky collections of cultured rudery for your delectation.
Queens University in Belfast have come out with the results of a survey which prove what we thought all along:
Having regular and enthusiastic sex, by contrast, confers a host of measurable physiological advantages, whether you're male or female. (This assumes that you are engaging in sex without contracting a sexually transmitted disease.)
Indeed, you'd be silly not to ensure you're having safe regular enthusiastic sex. (We shudder to think what safe, unenthusiastic, regular sex might be like though. Don't do it! Buy yourself a new best bedroom friend if it's got that boring! )
Forbes Magazine goes on to reveal that abstinence can actually be physically damaging for older women, whereas men have to watch out because too much sex can cause permanent damage to the penis.
The penis, says Eid, is wonderfully resilient. But everything has its limits. Penile tissues, if given too roistering or prolonged a pummeling, can sustain damage. Or, in cases you'd just as soon not hear about, permanent damage.
"I see it in pro football players," says Eid. "They use Viagra because they're so sexually active. What they demand of their body is unreasonable. It's part of playing football: you play through the pain." This type of guy doesn't listen to his body. He takes a shot of cortisone and keeps on going. And they have sex in similar fashion."
So watch out. Especially if you're taking sex stimulants. They're great when used properly, but if your other half is shooting cortisone into his bits just so he can "be a man" and keep going, it might be time to take a very cold shower before the pair of you stop getting any pleasurable use from his manhood whatsoever.
Only in America: Debbie Does Dallas: The Musical
For girls looking for some female-friendly porn rather than the usual hairy-arsed dreck that gets served up on adult sites, Lovehoney has got a bunch of the new Anna Span movies, Britain's first female porn director who's remaking porn to keep women interested, plus a whole range of Better Sex DVDs to drop your partner some subtle hints about what they should be doing down below.
The Dayton Daily News makes us weep with this intro:
People have come up with bizarre, and often totally misguided, methods to prevent pregnancy over the years. Like wearing the testicles of a weasel on their thighs. Or amulets with desiccated cat livers or shards of bones. Some were advised to use elephant dung as a spermicide. And others used wads of seaweed as a female condom.
No need for weasels to be anywhere near your nether regions… you know where to go for all things safe sex.
Manchester Online has a spectacular round-up of the worst cinema sex scenes ever committed to celluloid. Guaranteed to ruin any attempt at getitng jiggy with it, these silver screen howlers are only good for providing you explicit instructions of what not to do between the sheets - or anywhere else. The list has been put together by film mag Empire, who nominate Showgirls as featuring the worst sex scene ever:
It names the 1995 title Showgirls, featuring a swimming pool sex scene between Elizabeth Berkley as dancer Nomi Malone and Kyle MacLachlan as showbiz impresario Zack Carey, the worst-of-the-worst.
Empire says: "It's supposed to be the best sex in the world but, as Berkley thrashes around in the water, it looks more like the first ten minutes of Jaws."
The nice folk at Slashdong point out that there's a repeat of Obscene Machines, a documentary about tech sex and fetishes, on Channel 4 tonight at 22.55pm, as part of their Sexology series.
No doubt you'll be aware of the practice of double bagging i.e. wearing one condom on top of another to ensure there can be no latex mishaps whilst making whoopee. In the American tradition of bigger, better, more, The Science Project took it to the max and conducted a full on practical experiment to find out - How many condoms can you wear at once? They did use a dildo, true, as no one was fool enough to sign up their schlong in the name of dubious science, and the result is - an awful lot of condoms. A truly magnificent girth was achieved. Even if there's a somewhat terrifying photo of what it looks like after the dildo's been sawn in half. You can have a go at taking on the "how many condoms on a dildo" record yourself with our huge range of condoms and dildos - if you manage to get into the Guinness Book Of Records, let us know.
And, fact fans, it's worth bearing in mind that unfortunately double bagging is not actually any safer than using one condom, as sex advice site The Site points out.
The LA Weekly gives an entertaining rundown of sex educators Courtney Cruz and Shelby Jones' master class "The Big One!: The Truth and Lies of Female Orgasms"
In the 1880s, they said to women, ‘Oh, you’re hysterical. You have to go to the doctor.’ And they had actual doctors that would massage these women into what they called ‘hospitable patronage’ — meaning that they brought them to orgasm, and then all the sudden the women were calm and happy as Hindu cows.
“And they’d send them home, and their husbands would say, ‘This is fantastic!’ And the women’d be going, ‘Uh, I have to go to the doctor again. I feel hysterical.’ And this is how it all started.”
They also reveal how, in Alabama, it is enshrined in law that people have "no fundamental right to purchase a product in pursuit of having an orgasm". That would make anyone hysterical.