14 Bondage Ideas to Try If You're Kink Curious

What to know before you try bondage

• Bondage is a subcategory of BDSM – it’s what the B stands for. It refers to any play involving restraining someone, e.g. by hands, handcuffs or rope.
• Keep bondage play safe by learning how to use your equipment beforehand and how to check for circulation issues.
• Power exchange is typical in bondage. One partner exercises consensual control over the person or people being restrained.
• Speak with your partner first. Share your hopes, worries, desires and experiences, and agree on a safeword and stop action.
• Our Bondage for Beginners Guide has loads more tips on getting started.

Bondage ideas to try with a partner

Before you dive in, talk about what you and your partner want to achieve by trying bondage sex. Do you want to be playful, sensual, or rough? Immobilised, vulnerable, or challenged?

Different approaches to bondage can bring up all kinds of sensations. Here are some ideas to get you started.

Tickling

Like a lot of Mistress Envy’s clients, you might be surprised that tickling can be a form of light bondage. Tickler: restrain your willing victim. Ticklee: Attempt to escape the exquisite torture.

Explore tickling by:

1. Targeting erogenous zones like inner arms, feet, backs of knees

2. Trying different speeds, pressures, textures (like silky restraints, a feather tickler or a pinwheel) and alternate parts of your fingers (the fingertips vs. your nails)

3. Ramping it up by restraining or blindfolding the ticklee

As a professional dominatrix, Mistress Envy says tickling is ideal for bondage beginners because there’s no harm involved. “Even when you’re squealing and saying, ‘I can’t take it anymore!’, you absolutely can. Nothing terrible is going to happen to you. The worst thing is you might pee your pants!”

You could also incorporate verbal domination as part of power play. “Degrade them for being so uncontrollably silly,” says Mistress Envy. “Point out that you can see they’re getting really turned on, ‘Look how excited you are from my magical hands.’ It can help shift the dynamic to feel sexier.”

Teasing

Teasing is popular with Mistress Envy’s clients, giving them a way to hand over control. As a Dom, you can tease your sub with pre-agreed words. “Look at you on your knees, begging to be touched.” If you’re curious about humiliation play, this could be for you.

Or tease physically. Cover your partner’s eyes with a blindfold and gently touch them where you’ve both agreed beforehand, saving their sweetest spots ‘til last. Alternatively, use under-the-mattress restraints so they can’t escape your fiendish touch.

Teasing can also progress to edging. Bring your partner close to orgasm, then back off. Do this repeatedly until they’re begging you to let them come.

Use your fingers, mouth, or toys like a bullet or wand vibrator and focus on their erogenous zones, ignoring their penis or clit. “If [your partner] has agreed to anal, then you could use a silicone plug and hold a wand to the base. They’ll want more and more and more!” suggests Mistress Envy.

Want to go one step further? Try orgasm denial. Limit your sub’s orgasms by having them wear a chastity belt or a cock cage.

Spanking

Like the idea of a spank on the bum? Warm up the area (such as the spankee’s bum) by planting quick light spanks with your hand. This increases blood flow to the area for a more pleasurable session – after all, spanking aims to combine pleasure with pain.

Beginners might find gentle spanks enough, or you could try firmer impact and a longer gap between spanks. If you’d like to include bondage toys, try paddles or floggers. Paddles deliver a “thud” sensation while floggers deliver a “thwhack”. Read our guide to spanking properly to spank with confidence.

Roleplay

Some roleplay scenarios lend themselves to bondage, either through the power dynamic or discipline involved.

The boss/employee dynamic is a popular client request for Mistress Envy. “Your boss has lured you in for a meeting, and oh, there’s some cuffs out. You’re going to slip them on, and who knows what will happen?” she suggests. “Or you’re not very productive around the office, so you need to be in chastity.”

You could also involve worship (“Tell your Queen how beautiful her pussy is”), spanking (“Sorry, Sir. I won’t forget to dust the picture frames next time”) or electro stimulation (“Prisoners must not leave their cells unless directed by a warden! This’ll teach you”).

Predicament bondage

Your ankles are locked in a cuffed spreader bar. You’re in nipple clamps, which are tied to the bar by a short rope. If you crouch down, the rope slackens and there’s no pressure on your nipples – but your legs begin to ache. Straightening your legs offers relief, but causes the rope to go taut and tug at your nipples. Do you stay crouching down or grin and bear the nipple torture?

That’s predicament bondage.

Putting your sub in a predicament bondage position will appeal to Doms and sadists who enjoy “the power and rush of watching them struggle, get weaker and find the position challenging,” says Mistress Envy.

Different bondage equipment will create differing sensations and experiences. If sensual predicament bondage appeals, Mistress Envy suggests using rope. “There are more body contact points when you’re tying and untying the rope,” she says. “With rope, you’re surrendering to me, and you have to keep still while I do a very ornate tie.”

For a more authoritative experience (“Get down and hands where I can see ’em!”), Mistress Envy advises “a bondage belt or cuff – it’s easier” to whack them on.

Keep safety scissors nearby and make sure you know how to undo the restraints quickly!

Hogtie

Japanese rope bondage (shibari) is a beautiful way to tie your submissive, but you don’t need to tie complicated shibari knots on day one! Hogtie your sub by securing their hands and feet together behind their back.

“A hogtie gives quite a lot of access to all your fun areas,” begins Mistress Envy. It’s also a good option, “if you’re feeling shy because you don’t have to have eye contact. There’re also lots of sensual touch points and [the sub] still feels like they’re fighting their restraints.”

Worship

Worship is when a submissive partner lavishes praise, attention and wonder at their Dominant’s body or outfit. As a form of power play, worship emphasises the distinctiveness of the subservient worshiper and dominant worshipee.

“Beforehand, make sure that you’re really clear about what both of you deem acceptable worship and the kind of touch you’re hoping for,” begins Mistress Envy. As a submissive, “ask your [Dom] how it looks to be a good worshipper. Where are the parameters? This is so that when you’re getting into the headspace, there’s no abrupt miscommunication [of the Dom saying] ‘actually, you can’t touch that.’”

Then, agree on any glorious body part and revel in its beauty. “I’ve never seen such elegant feet, Mistress”, “I love the girth of your dick, Sir”, “Your pussy is the most glorious pussy in the world”, “That latex looks incredible on you. It accentuates your curves/strength/form perfectly. Would it please you to show how much I admire you?” You get the idea.

Electro stimulation

Electro stimulation (or e-stim) involves using an electro sex toy or conductive pad to deliver a safe amount of electrical energy to a person’s body. While e-stim can heighten the pleasure of other sensations (like tickling), some folks find it’s enough to make them orgasm without any other stimulation!

You’re spoiled for choice when it comes to e-stim toys, such as:

• Conductive external pads
• Cock rings, chastity cages
• Dildos and butt plugs
• Paddles and zappers

Mistress Envy says, “Depending on the pattern and how it’s used, [e-stim] can feel like a pins and needles sensation.” When used internally, “it will contract your internal muscles. If you get it just right it should feel like ghost fucking, like you’re being penetrated,” she continues.

E-stim is one of the types of kinks that sound scary but isn’t. Some people find the fear of e-stim plays into their fantasy. Try incorporating it into roleplay as discipline or to tantalise a tied partner. And if the bondage idea of e-stim gives you and your partner a surge of energy (sorry), research this kink first, as there are some safety precautions to consider.

Collaring

In Dom/sub relationships, a collar is worn by a sub to show their commitment to their Dom. It’s typically something to be earned, although the significance can vary. Some Doms give collars away quite freely.

Meanwhile, Mistress Envy says, “To be worthy of a collar, you have to be very committed to me. You truly respect and honour me, and we know each other very well. It’s a reflection of the deeper connection we have.”

Your collar can be kinky or as discreet as you like, and you can opt for one with or without a ring to attach a leash. Wear your collar all day, only at fetish parties or just in the presence of your Dom.

Sex furniture

Sex furniture is a fun way to explore suspension and get into bondage positions you might not otherwise be strong enough to sustain.

Hop on a sex swing to make standing sex a breeze. Pin your sub to the door with cross position restraints. Achieve new sex positions and keep your toys where you want them with position wedges. Make pussy or ass worship more comfortable for the Dom with a sex chair.

Self-bondage ideas

Self-bondage is tying, binding or restraining yourself. While it can be a fun way to explore bondage sensations, you’ll need to be careful not to get into complicated restraints, as no one will be around to help you. Below are some safe self-bondage ideas to try.

Sensory deprivation

Sensory deprivation is a gentle way to explore self-bondage. When you limit one sense, you inadvertently heighten the others, so expect to really be in the moment and receptive to your touch.

Wear a blindfold or eye mask while masturbating to block out visual distractions (the overflowing laundry basket, perhaps). If you tend to use porn as a visual aid, removing your sight can help you tune into your fantasy.

Breast and nipple bondage

Breast bondage is a way of framing and accentuating boobs with rope or a harness. Because blood flow is trapped in the breasts, they’ll become uber sensitive to your touch. Follow along with some video tutorials to create an alluring tie.

Rope not for you? Whatever your gender, learning how to use nipple clamps is a fun self-bondage idea. Before masturbating with your hands or a bullet vibe, wear nipple clamps or nipple suckers for a little while then remove them. Blood flow will rush to your nipples, making them super sensitive to any nipple play. They also offer hands-free stimulation during masturbation.

Clit clamps

Clit clamps pinch the clitoris and, when you remove the clamp, blood rushes to the clit making it throb and tingle and leaving it extra sensitive. Using a clit clamp shouldn’t hurt. If you’re not keen on the buzzing of vibrators but want hands-free stimulation on your clit, try wearing a clit clamp while fingering yourself.

Ball stretching

Do you enjoy the sensation of tugging on your balls? Free up a hand to touch yourself elsewhere, and consider ball stretching.

Ball stretchers fit around your balls, pulling them away from your shaft. Ball weights sit around the top of your balls and come in different weights and sizes. They rely on gravity to create a pulling sensation, so you won’t feel the tug unless you’re standing.

Don’t forget aftercare

Any bondage session can be intense, whether you’re in a Dominant or submissive role, or playing with a partner or alone. Take time to recoup and return to normal with “aftercare”. How this looks will depend on what you find comforting, as well as what bondage play you did.

A bath, a cup of tea and your favourite movie might suit. Or perhaps rubbing soothing lotion into your partner’s spanked bum. If you tried bondage with a partner, talk about what you enjoyed, didn’t enjoy so much and what you might like to try next time. Our BDSM Guide has lots of advice about meaningful aftercare.