Electric New Paper: "They were jetting off for a holiday in Kingston, Jamaica, and the drinks flowed freely during the ten-hour flight.
Intoxicated, the couple, who were seated in business class, decided to submit their membership for the 'mile-high club' in one of the toilets.
But the British Airways flight staff became suspicious after hearing cries of passion from the loo, and the randy couple was ordered to stop and return to their seats.
Randy quickly turned into angry.
Stunned passengers watched in horror as the couple fought with flight staff.
A passenger told The Sun: 'They were asked politely to return to their seats but went ballistic. They were shouting vile abuse and spitting at staff.'"
Strewth. Probably would have been better to let them finish and arrest them in the haze of post-coital bliss. We don't recommend getting yourself arrested for nookie at 30,000 feet, but we do recommend you take a pair of Ben Wa love balls to discreetly wear for a while on the plane - that should keep you amused without causing trouble to anyone else…
Huge UK supermarket chain Asda have started selling the Durex Play range in their stores, reports The Sun, with the classic headline "Now shopping at Asd-aah". Tesco's have been doing the same - clearly they're all mad for Durex's great range of sex toys. We're not sure we'd want to get these in with our regular weekly shopping with everyone scrutinising the contents of our baskets at the check-out, so it's just as well that Lovehoney sells the entire Durex Play range online which you can have delivered discreetly to your door. Brilliant!
We feel duty bound to remind you at this point that AXM magazine memorably described our gay sex toy superstore Cock Locker as "ASDA for your anus". Quite hard pressed to follow that…
World Sex News points us to a good article by Ann Regentin at Clean Sheets on why it's wrong to think the female orgasm is elusive. Her argument is that girls can have orgasms as quickly as boys - but the female body's just not designed to orgasm during intercourse itself. Here's a snippet:
The only reason why the female orgasm is said to be elusive is because most women cannot come during intercourse. The thrusting of a penis in a vagina usually doesn't do it, and even when it does, it rarely does it all of the time. The exact number of women who can come consistently through intercourse alone, without any additional clitoral stimulation, varies depending on the study, but it could be as low as 6%. It's not a question of masculine endurance or technique, just a physical quirk so rare that it could be said to be abnormal.
This is the real cause of the angst, though, and the primary definition of female sexual dysfunction. It's not that women can't come; it's that they don't come when or how men want them to. Millions of men have agonized over their performance and millions of women have berated their lovers or themselves all because of something that no technique or duration of penetration can change….Fingers, tongues, or vibrators applied to the clitoris are the best tools for inducing female orgasm, and this should be good news because dicks are notoriously temperamental.
Indeed they are. Which is why you need to equip yourself with a panoply of Girl's Best Friends - consider it a Christmas present for yourself.
If you click through to read the full article (which we recommend), be aware that Ms Regentin uses some fairly fruity language. Just in case that sort of thing's not your cup of tea.
Nerve.com has a fantastic column on getting to grips with anal intercourse, one of their regular "I Did It For Science" series - "My vagina and clit both receive inordinate attention, but my anus is like an awkward middle child who only gets noticed when acting up. In all my years of self-pleasuring, I have barely dared to touch it. The few times I've tried anal intercourse have lasted less than five minutes and ended with me leaping off the bed in pain. But there are people whose assholes are relaxed epicenters of pleasure. I too want to enjoy anal sex. My asshole's going to be tagging along throughout my entire life, so it might as well be in on the fun." Lovehoney has, of course, a huge range of anal toys specially designed to bring you back end pleasure.
ContactMusic reports that "Sarah Jessica Parker is amazed Sex And The City fans continue to think she has a collection of sex toys from her time on the TV show, because her character never appeared in raunchy scenes.
Parker, who played writer Carrie Bradshaw on the smash series, had a strict no-nudity clause in her contract and finds it amusing people associate her with the show's more sexually graphic moments.
She says, "I am regularly asked what I've done with all the sex toys.
"My character never played with sex toys. All the others did - and took their clothes off too. Not me." "
Indeed, while Sex And The City sent sales of the Rampant Rabbit vibrator through the roof and prompted co-star Kim Cattrall to write two books about the art of good sex, Ms Parker has remained demure about her own bedroom proclivities…
Huge collection of great sex tips articles over at Health 24, the men's health site. They've got over 30 articles on everything from "Mistakes men make in bed" to "Finding the elusive G-spot". It's a must-read page of pithy articles for men to make sure you're doing the business in the bedroom… and if you want the complete knowledge of having a healthy and hot sex life, we recommend Tracey Cox's Hot Sex book, plus Tracey Cox's official range of sex toys for some more hands-on fun.
4HearingLoss.com: "Monday night, a record number of noise complaints were received by Residential Security Officers in Roger Revelle College, University of California, San Diego. Officers responding to the calls found the sexual activity of a deaf couple to be the source of the noises, which were described as "cacophonous" by witnesses.
The first officer on the scene, Frank Zipelli, reported, "I could hear those two all the way from the parking lot." According to Zipelli, "It sounded as if they were bludgeoning a cow. There would be a low moan, like a ‘moo,’ and then a ‘bang’ and a higher-pitched ‘moo.’ It was like ‘MOO…BANG…MOOO!’"
"This can’t go on every night," Zipelli told the couple. "I like eavesdropping on hot loud sex as much as any other RSO, but if these noise complaints keep coming in, I’m going to have to cite you." " [via Digg].
MSNBC's Sexploration page does a round up of Christmas sex toy goodies you can get to give your partner a real surprise, including a super expensive vibrator: "Those of you who hang with the yacht-in-Cannes set may be interested in a company called Mi-Su which sells “sexual aesthetics” (that's "pretty sex toys" to the rest of us).
For the small price of about 1,300 British pounds — or roughly $2,200 — you can purchase a titanium dildo inlaid with crystals. Diamonds are available, too. If you want to really get all Savile Row, Mi-Su will create bespoke toysaccording to your specifications."
They also recommend the massively popular I Rub My Duckie, the super cute bathroom duck that doubles as a discreet waterproof vibe to keep you buzzing during bathtimes - somewhat cheaper and a lot more fun, we think. There's also a smaller, travel size Rubber Duckie, a Devil Duckie and even a Bondage Duckie…
There's still plenty of time to place your Xmas sex toy order with Lovehoney - we can take orders for delivery in the UK until the 22nd December if you choose Express Delivery, until 19th if you choose Standard Delivery.
That's what Seed Magazine says anyway: "According to a recent study, women are aroused by watching monkey sex. Sure, they're more aroused by watching human sex, but the loving habits of the bonobo are enough to bring out the primate in any civilized lady.
The study, conducted by Meredith Chivers of the Center for Addiction and Mental Health and J. Michael Bailey of Northwestern University, was published in the October issue of Biological Psychology. The researchers found that while straight men are only aroused by females of the human variety, straight women are equally aroused by all human sexual activity, including lesbian, heterosexual and homosexual male sex, and at least somewhat aroused by nonhuman sex."
Gentlemen - best nip out and get some David Attenborough DVDs…