The New York Press has a particularly frank and funny sex advice column, which recently included this gem:
My guy really wants to have anal sex with me, but let's face it; it's a pain in the ass. Not only is it messy, but super painful. He is putting so much pressure on me about it, saying, "Most girls love it!" I don't want to lose him, but yikes! —Carol P.
He is exaggerating. Most girls hate anal sex. If he thinks it is so great, tell him you will try it but only if he lets you ram a dildo up his chocolate starfish. (You wouldn't want him missing out on any of the so-called pleasure!) Men like anal due to the tight fit and because it's so naughty, but they don't realize how much it hurts until they try it. They think we all love it thanks to porn flicks, where the girls are getting paid to pretend they like it. Never do what you don't want to do, and if he doesn't like it, he can find himself a canal pal!
(P.S. Do not write me telling me how much your girl loves getting it up the ass. I said "most girls.")
This advice runs against the fact that everyone seems to be trying out anal sex these days to see if they like it. Who's to say? You can only decide for yourself. We've got The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women to let you make up your own mind about whether or not it's for you.
Trojan, the people behind Trojan condoms, have 20 detailed hints to help women reach orgasm. If you're having trouble getting all the way up there, see if these hints, which cover the psychological and physical, can help you out.
Regina Lynn, sex-tech columnist for Wired magazine, has a lengthy review about the various merits of cock rings. So if you're not sure what they could do for you, Regina's piece spells it out. The short version: they keep chaps harder for longer and stop him going off before you've had your fun. Plus they help hold on a condom too. We've got numerous types of cock ring available for you to peruse - take a look.
Emily Dubberley, sexpert extraordinaire and friend of Lovehoney, keeps a cracking blog of her own at Dubberley.com, revealing the perils of being a professional sex toy reviewer. It's not all fun and games y'know. "Cue half an hour of us trying to outdo each other in the penis throwing stakes, cut short only by an incident that resulted in almost breaking his knee cap and me having a three inch diameter bruise on my arse." See?
If you think your man or woman enough to take on the sex toy reviewing challenge, sign up for Lovehoney's Orgasm Army and send us your best sex toy story - if we like yours, we'll send you sex toys for free so you can write us reviews and tell us what you think of them. You get to share your opinion with the world and amass an enviable collection of sex toys to suit every occasion. Result!
New Kerala reports that "Singer Myleene Klass and Suzanne Shaw are said to gift each other saucy sex toys, as they are too embarrased to buy them for themselves. The former Hear’say babes, who are still best friends, have admitted to buy each other vibrators as presents to save themselves from the embarrassment of purchasing them for their own use." Clearly they should be shopping online with us at Lovehoney so they can get their every sex toy desire delivered discreetly to their doors. No embarrassment when you're buying online.
Now for some culture. Here's a paragraph from Wikipedia about female ninjas: "these women, or kunoichi as they were called, were given special training in psychological skills and intuition. Taught to manipulate men high-up in the enemy hierarchy, they were known to conceal blades inside musical instruments and sex toys." Ouch.
Someone's got a problem at University of Miami paper The Hurricane Online:
"Dear V, Where do I begin? I've always considered myself a regular guy-I drink, party, play football…but I have a big problem. I think I'm addicted to my girlfriend's vibrator."
As you can imagine, the response is just to calm down and enjoy it rather than worrying if it makes him "gay". Vibrators are fun for everyone…
We blogged New York's Museum Of Sex a while ago - turns out Miami is not to be outdone and now boasts its own World Erotic Art Museum. Opening on October 16th, the museum claims to be the greatest collection of erotic art in the world. The WEAM website is a bit sparse at the moment, but we live in hope that they'll be bringing a full virtual representation of their collections online soon for us to ogle. All in the name of art, natch. Meanwhile, the Erotic Book Shop has its own cheeky collections of cultured rudery for your delectation.
Queens University in Belfast have come out with the results of a survey which prove what we thought all along:
Having regular and enthusiastic sex, by contrast, confers a host of measurable physiological advantages, whether you're male or female. (This assumes that you are engaging in sex without contracting a sexually transmitted disease.)
Indeed, you'd be silly not to ensure you're having safe regular enthusiastic sex. (We shudder to think what safe, unenthusiastic, regular sex might be like though. Don't do it! Buy yourself a new best bedroom friend if it's got that boring! )
Forbes Magazine goes on to reveal that abstinence can actually be physically damaging for older women, whereas men have to watch out because too much sex can cause permanent damage to the penis.
The penis, says Eid, is wonderfully resilient. But everything has its limits. Penile tissues, if given too roistering or prolonged a pummeling, can sustain damage. Or, in cases you'd just as soon not hear about, permanent damage.
"I see it in pro football players," says Eid. "They use Viagra because they're so sexually active. What they demand of their body is unreasonable. It's part of playing football: you play through the pain." This type of guy doesn't listen to his body. He takes a shot of cortisone and keeps on going. And they have sex in similar fashion."
So watch out. Especially if you're taking sex stimulants. They're great when used properly, but if your other half is shooting cortisone into his bits just so he can "be a man" and keep going, it might be time to take a very cold shower before the pair of you stop getting any pleasurable use from his manhood whatsoever.