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  1. This is genius. Ananova reports that "A Dutch designer has created a wall of fake breasts to help male shoppers buy bras that fit their wives or girlfriends.

    Wendy Rameckers works at the Piet Zwart Institute for Retail and Design in Rotterdam, reports Het Nieuwsblad.

    "Most men have a selective memory," she explained. "They know all about their car, but never seem to know their wife's bra size.

    "When trying to buy a sexy bra for their wife or girlfriend, usually they point to other women in the shop or, when asked about size, they say a 'handful'."

    The wall consists of rows of silicon breasts in all sizes. By look and touch, male shoppers can work out the right size, she says."

    You could make your own mini-wall at home in best Blue Peter fashion using our Gummy Jelly Boobs…or you could just eat them as intended.

    Have you seen the Condom Dress? A blouse and skirt made entirely out of latex funbags. Build your own with our 100 Condoms Bargain Pack - they're top quality even though they're low priced, so you can use them when the dress comes off too…

    Slashdong tells us that "Brenda Brathwaite, head of the IGDA Sex In Games Special Interest Group is currently looking to interview several individuals who regularly engage in cybersex for an upcoming project she's working on. If you would like to be a part of this project, please contact her at brenda at mmorgy dot com." Time to share your fantasies in the interests of science…

    We're also still looking for more people to join the Orgasm Army and get free sex toys in return for reviewing them - follow the link and tell us about your best sex experience. If we like what you write, you're in!

    Reuters: "Police in northeastern Iran are launching a new morality drive by confiscating alluring mannequins from boutiques and clothes stalls in the bazaar, authorities in the city of Bojnourd said on Monday.

    A spokesman for the city's judiciary, who asked not be named, explained the drive would tackle problems of "public chastity". Sixty five mannequins have been impounded so far." Best not stand too still then…

    Welwyn & Hatfield Times: "A saucy shop has had a sex-cessful first week.

    SA Lingerie on Market Place, the first shop in Hertford and Ware to sell sex toys, had a busy week's trading during which the adult toys outsold the lingerie…

    Wendy Stevenson, shop owner, promises lots more at her current shop, including a swimwear range after Christmas.

    A ladies' night in mid-November will also introduce the Christmas and Valentines ranges.

    Plans for the free event include wine, nibbles and pole dancing."

    Let's hope not all at the same time…

    Congratulations to Wendy on the launch of her shop. Maybe she'll need the services of Lovehoney Wholesale. If you can't make it to Hertford and Ware, you can buy lingerie online from Lovehoney - we've got a spectacular range available in all shapes and sizes, including plus size lingerie

    North-West Evening Mail: "Boy racers have thrown bananas wrapped in condoms at shop windows during a spate of incidents in the run up to Halloween." Nice of them to think of protecting the bananas…

    If you want to stage your own fruit flinging prophylactic antics, we can help you out with the condoms, not so sure about the nanas… although we have got some Mantric Banana Split Lube if you want to get a bit tasty…

    WebIndia 123: "Ever bought a book because of its cover and wish you had never done so after reading it? Or for that case a porn film for a jacket that leaves nothing to the imagination, but actually ends up leaving you, shall we say, more than a bit "let-down" after a ruinous evening of viewing?

    Well, for all those who have had to suffer the abject disappointment of these situations there is now hope, after a porn supplier was fined 4000 pounds by Surrey magistrates, for failing to deliver what was graphically promised on the video's cover, following a complaint by a disgruntled woman." See? It needs a woman to stand up and complain about crap quality rudie movies without being embarrassed about liking porn.

    "One languid, melodious Saturday afternoon, I had the best orgasm of my life. It was the sort of event that builds and builds like the pressure on a crumbling dam and explodes in an avalanche of bliss, a wave of delicious convulsions. My entire body tensed and shook and finally went involuntarily limp, and I literally passed out. It was the kind of orgasm that only a woman can give — to herself." A great ode to self-love from Heather Grantham at the Cornell Daily Sun, which concludes "Lack of an available penis will never keep us from indulging our sexual appetites." Indeed.

    If you fancy writing about your own best orgasms and getting rewarded with free sex toys for doing so, sign up to the Orgasm Army. We've already had hundreds of entries and we're still looking for more.

    From No Nechevishment Here!, a blog about living in China: "It was most mopinatry. This is our latest Chinglish word, referring to otherwise unremarkable objects, activities - or, indeed, smells - when found in totally incongruous locations, pronounced 'mop-in-a-tree', for self-explanatory reasons. China provides endless opportunities for utilising this word; for example, the very unsubtle array of sex toys and performance-enhancing pills sold alongside the beer, loo roll, snacks and cigarettes at the little family-run shop down the road (the one with the cute little 'hello-thank you-bye bye' girl). This crazy country; we love it really."

    "Jose Escalante is a free man. And for that, dildo lovers all across Houston should celebrate.

    Escalante is a clerk at Adult Video Megaplex in north Houston, and he faced a year in jail and a $4,000 fine for selling obscene devices. Specifically, according to the arrest report, such novelties as the "Hustler Cyber Jel-Lee Magnum Cock With Balls Dildo."

    As a practical matter, according to Richard Kuniansky, Escalante's lawyer, police take into account just how much an item resembles an actual penis when making an arrest. A vibrator is fine; a "magnum cock with balls dildo" is not. Having more than six dildos means you intend to distribute them, and that's against the law.

    Escalante's trial began October 11. "Jury selection was highly unusual in a case like this," Kuniansky says, "because I didn't want someone who would freak out over seeing a great big penis. So during jury selection I literally pulled out the biggest, baddest penis I could find and held it up."

    It's worth reading this story from the Houston Press in full. It's jawdropping in its stupidity. It is, in fact, a complete load of cock and balls. (Geddit?).

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