It's the moment we've all been waiting for… Time to introduce the lucky couple who have agreed to donate a month of blow-jobs in the name of science.
Sperm tester: Sarah (Sarah is a swallower)
Sperm donor: Jason
Sarah and Jason have been a couple of 20 months and say they have oral sex a couple of times a week. They have had oral sex in their bedroom, kitchen, bathroom and lounge, so if you're a houseguest of theirs, it's best to knock before entering any room.
Sarah says they would be great Sperm Testers because "We've dyed his pubic hair, made a cock mould and put Space Dust inside me…"
What better qualifications could you have?
Sperm Testing and Sarah's intimate blow-by-blow online account of the trial will begin here on 12 September.
Sarah will post a diary message every day, with specially detailed posts describing the taste of Jason's natural emissions every time they have oral sex. A control sample will be taken to gauge Jason's natural level of saltiness before the effects of the Sweet Release test product.
When we recruited our sperm tester couple, we asked applicants to tell us about unusual places they had had oral sex - here are just some of the replies…
1 "Kemble airfield (in the fire drill plane)" Admirably precise, thank you. Doing it in parked Cessna would have been *so* degrading.
2 "We are from Czech Republic, does it matter?" Er…
3 "Argyle street in Glasgow on a Saturday night (really busy street)." Isn't it more unusual to go down Argyle Street and not get a quickie?
4 "A quarry." And they say romance is dead.
5 "In the hospital." Nurse, the screens!
6 "On my Nans Sewing basket - 'Sticky Jumper darling?'" !!
7 "On the edge of a cliff on the Guisbrough Hills." Living dangerously.
8 "On the London Eye." Impressive way to spend 40 minutes rotating slowly above the River Thames in a glass bubble.
9 "AT MY FRIENDS BBQ IN THIER LOO." Make sure it's not still pink in the middle.
10 "In the middle of local pub - got us banned." How unreasonable!
Lovehoney is happy to service its US customers, but if you're in the US and need faster delivery than our transatlantic service can provice, try Babeland.
Babeland is one of the most successful sex toy companies in the US. Claire Cavanah and Rachel Venning founders of Babeland are committed to offering information and encouragement to women who want to explore their sexuality, Claire and Rachel made sure the store offered top quality products and a pleasant place to shop.
You can find out what Babeland is all about at www.babeland.com.
If you're browsing Lovehoney from the US take a look at Babeland’s use a rabbit guide and meet the sexiest and most well-known vibrator today.
And you can buy some Lovehoney favourites like the iBuzz too.
The new issue of Scarlet magazine features a glowing five-star review of the Fun Factory Intensity Silicone Rechargeable Vibrator, which has been one of our faves for a while.
"The design is stunningly executed," reads the breathless review. "There are various vibe patterns to tickle your fancy, and they all pack a punch with the consisten vibration rbing on orgasm ni under three minutes. What more could you ask for, other than perhaps a cuddle?"
We couldn't agree more. :-)
The Lovehoney Sperm Testers will be sampling the Sweet Release Oral Sex Supplement.
Taken orally (appropriately enough), it's a dietary supplement designed to alter the scent and taste of your sexual fluids. "Imagine the confidence of being able to enjoy oral sex, knowing that a sweet delicious taste and scent is coming from you," says the product blurb.
Two Sweet Release capsules are taken twice a day for 30 days. And by the end of it, he should be tasting a sweet apples.
Our Sperm Testers will each keep an online diary of how their man's taste changes over the course of a month. Fruity!
I have just finished reading a brilliant and insightful book called Forbidden Flowers, by an exceptionally clever writer called Nancy Friday.
Author of the international best-seller My Secret Garden, Nancy Friday excels in celebrating the freedom of female choice when it comes to sex and gives women a platform from which to talk about their sex lives, question their sexuality and to inspire other women to increase their own individual sexual awareness.
In Forbidden Flowers, women speak openly about their individual erotic experiences, about their fantasies, relationships, sexual guilt and frustrations; about masturbation, S&M tendencies and sexual awakenings.
Being completely honest with you, I would be hard-pushed to pick just one excerpt from this book to tell you about, because the entire book is a masterpiece and far more accessible than most I have read. You need to read this book for yourself. It will change the way you think about your sexual relationships. It has certainly made me look at my sexual life and sexual being in an entirely different way.
Back in June we launched a search for a broad-minded couple who would be prepared to test a product that claimed to change the taste of semen.
We thought we might receive a couple of dozen applicants, so were more than delighted to receive more than 2,500 requests to take part from couples who had had oral sex everywhere from the London Eye to "on my nan's sewing basket." Ewww.
We've chosen three couples to take part. They've been sent their test product (and a couple of helpful other items) and the research will begin in earnest on Monday 11 September.
You can follow the couples' blow-by-blow accounts of the 30-day test on the Sperm Tester blog.
By the end of it, the guys' semen should be tasting of lovely sweet sweet apples. But will it? Let's find out!
No, I'm not imagining Dustin Hoffman strapped to Cupid's Couch while John Gielgud bears down on him with a rotating strap-on (though that would make for a good Marathon Man Director's Cut scene), I'm talking about phthalates in sex toys.
A journalist from the US Clamor Magazine (it's like Glamour but more sticky) got in touch to ask, in a totally unbiased way:
"Some manufacturers keep their consumers in the dark in regards to the potentially harmful chemicals, such as phthalates, found in sex toys. Have you or any representative of your company attempted to research how and where the products from Love Honey Limited are manufactured? If so, what were the results of your findings?"
And, she might have added, "Have you now or ever been a member of the Communist Party?" It had me wanting to take the fifth straight away.
We know that phthalates in sex toys - in any product - is a hot topic. Customers are right to be concerned about what they are doing with and to their bodies, so Lovehoney is on a mission to inform and explain.
That's why at the end of every product description on the Lovehoney site, you'll see an exhaustive (and, dare I say it, anal) list of product dimensions, features, controller type, battery requirements and what the item is made of.
There have been a lot of headline-grabbing media stories about phthalates in sex toys, but when you delve beneath the surface, it's not nearly so scary or so simple.
This report - despite its very small words - is essential reading for anyone who wants to delve behind the headlines. Here's a key passage:
"According to an NIH review done in 2000, the biggest source of exposure to phthalates is food. Food constitutes approximately 85-90 percent of phthalate exposure in adults, mostly through meat and fish. For infants, depending on whether a baby is breast or formula fed, the rate is 44-60 percent from food, with the remaining amount in both groups almost entirely attributed to dust."
Dust, anybody? Dust? DUST?
There is no hard scientific data available at present to show that phthalates in sex toys pose a risk to human health.
But even so, Lovehoney aims to provide balanced information so customers can make an informed buying decision.
If you're concerned, it's sensible to make sure that each time you use a sex toy that you put a condom over the top of it. That way, you can give yourself peace of mind, protect yourself from STIs and still enjoy your favourite sex toy.
And if you're still concerned, buy a sex toy made from silicone, elastomer, glass or metal for ultimate peace of mind.
The media is interested in selling newspapers and magazines with scary stories about evil sex toy companies. "Sex toys perfectly OK to use" is not a headline that you'll see running any time soon.
Another great review from Orgasm Army!
"Remember when you were a kid and those candy necklaces were so "cool" and made the perfect, though sticky, accessory? We used to buy one each with our quarters and wear them to school to snack on during class.
It's been a while since those innocent and carefree “candy necklace days” and now that I am a "grown-up" it's time to put away childish things – or is it?
Enter the candy bra – made from the same little pastel hard candies as those necklaces but now with an entirely new spin. There's nothing 'sweet and innocent' about this string of candy, it's a fun and very sexy piece of lingerie (part of a collection).
I decided to put it on under my clothes the other night to surprise my date…"
See the full Candy Bra review at Orgasm Army.
Buy the Candy Bra at Lovehoney.
I love music festivals. The mental, head-banging, devil horn bearing metal fests are sometimes a little too much to handle, but it's all good fun. Despite there being tons of sexy rockers at music festivals, I have always followed my personal rule of abstaining from sex when at a festival.
Exchanging phone numbers, saliva and sexy chat is fine in my book, but I won't go any further than that when spending three days on a muddy campsite. Well, I might make an exception for Slash…
The reason why I become a bit of a prude at festivals is down to one thing: personal hygiene. I mean, would you go down on someone after they'd been camping for two-days straight with only piss-strewn portaloos and grimy showers (if they're lucky) to hand? Not only do you run the risk of getting your hands, or tongue, around something stomach churning when getting in on with a random festival fuck buddy, but you also let your sex health guard drop a lot more easily.
Dental dams and condoms seem like the last items on the camping checklist for many people (including many of my friends), even though they should be one of the first if you're sexually active and single. Especially after I tell you about my mate's rather unsavoury experience at last year's V Festival…