While you can surreptiously order sex toys online during your lunch break at work - certainly brightens up a dull day - we're not sure we'd recommend you getting them delivered to your workplace as well. Having some bedroom toys on your desk can prove to be very expensive, as Jossip recently reported: "Two fired Billboard staffers — former EIC Keith Girard and senior editor Samantha Chang — are slapping a $29 million lawsuit on the mag over a "sexual vibrator" that made its way around the office. Executive editor Ken Schlager kept the vibrator on his bookshelf and turning it on for Chang and another female employee." Erk. A bit more of a buzz than he bargained for, we'll wager.
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The Sun have scooped us on Lovehoney's exclusive England Victory Vibe, the vibrator that'll be keeping the ladies left at home during the World Cup shouting, "Gooooaallllllll!"
Here's what Dave Masters from The Sun Online had to say:
"Women can get in on this summer's World Cup buzz - thanks to a new England vibrator. The £9.99 Victory Vibe comes in the team colours and has our famous St George's cross on the side. And it boasts four changeable heads which you can sub on and off.
Raunchy website Lovehoney will flog the unofficial devices from next month to fans, including the 20,000 fellas leaving their partners at home to watch this summer's finals in Germany. A spokesperson said: "It's going to get lonely at home with all that waiting, so lads should equip their World Cup Widows with a Victory Vibe. "It'll let them score home goals of their very own, all in keeping with the spirit of the nation."
The Victory Vibe will be available in the next couple of weeks - if you want to be the first to get your hands on this essential World Cup item, just go to the Victory Vibe page and sign up to get an email so we can let you know the moment the Victory Vibe goes on sale. (We won't use your email address for any other purpose). Come on England!
When in Rome… have sex in speeding cars! You're never too old! "ROME (Reuters) - The zig-zagging car gave them away. When Italian police pulled over the vehicle, they found a completely naked 70-year-old woman who had been trying to have sex with the driver -- 11 years her junior. After demanding the joy-riding couple get dressed, the police tested the semi-nude male motorist for drunk driving." [Read the full story]
The Sun reports that "frustrated husband Rudolf Gibbs was taken to court — for breaking his wife’s rabbit vibrator. Gibbs, 61, had not been sleeping with her and was angry after finding the sex toy hidden at their home." A bit of a shame, that - the pair of them could have a lot of run with the Rabbit together. Still, Mr Gibbs can always get another rabbit from our burgeoning collection of Rabbit Vibrators
We mentioned the luxury range of vibrators in the US - and now it looks like Kate Moss has given them the seal of approval by splashing out on a Jimmyjane vibrator while shopping in New York. Kate Moss has reportedly splashed out $200 on a solid gold vibrator. The supermodel picked out the limited edition sex toy - which she was apparently buying for a pal - while shopping in New York's La Petite Coquette store. The 32-year-old catwalk beauty also bought some sexy lingerie from the exclusive store.
A source is quoted in Britain's Daily Mirror newspaper as saying: "Kate bought a Jimmyjane Little Something vibrator in 24-carat gold for a friend, and some lingerie for herself. J Lo, Britney, Salma Hayek, Uma Thurman - you name them, they all shop here.""
Coo. While we don't have Jimmyjane, we've got plenty of other luxury sex toys and sexy lingerie that we'd be all too happy for Ms Moss to model if she's in need of some more shopping this side of the pond.
The Daily Telegraph carries an article about Marrena Lindberg, the woman who claims to experience spectacular orgasms because of what she eats - the Orgasm Diet, if you will. The Telegraph, in true witty quality newspaper style, say they find this "hard to swallow". Arf. The secret is apparently lots of fish oil, a little chocolate, but no coffee. From reading the article, it sounds like Marrena has too many orgasms, if you can imagine such a thing. It seems to scare blokes off a little bit, which is a shame. Still, her advice is certainly worth reading for any woman who finds it difficult to climax - Marrena also recommends using a Kegel Exerciser, and we've got several of those you can browse and buy. We've got the chocolate too, but usually in the shape of chocolate willies, so not quite sure she meant that…
Someone's been watching too many movies, wethinks: "A man's pantyhose led to his arrest, authorities said. An unshaven man wearing a black evening gown, fishnet stockings, calf-high boots and a black wig robbed a USA Gas station Monday morning, authorities alleged.
About 35 minutes after the robbery, police Officer Chad Ventimiglia spotted a black Saab with fishnet pantyhose hanging from the front driver's side door, dragging on the ground, investigators said." [Read the full story].
We're more fans of stockings and suspenders ourselves. Our lingerie collection is fully law-abiding - we even have policeman PVC uniforms for men and women, and - in case you want to recreate how the gentleman above will be spending his time in the privacy of your own home - we have a deeply sexy Prisoner Outfit for girls.
Mississippi isn't the only American state to ban sex toys - Texas is at it too. There's a 2002 film, Dildo Diaries, chronicling the Lone Star State's descent into a dildo wilderness. As Metro Weekly says:
Deep in the heart of Texas, something silly has been going on. Well, maybe not the heart, but it’s certainly deep in something. The Lone Star state, you see, has outlawed dildos. These days in the more liberal state capital of Austin, you can’t buy a dildo to pleasure yourself or someone else. You can, however, buy an educational model if you have a “friend who needs to be educated” about how to, say, put on a condom . Texas is suddenly filled with safer sex educators.
Just don’t own more than six of them, or you may be considered a felon.
Dildo Diaries is a tongue-in-cheek investigation of the Texas legislature’s obsession with “dipshit stuff like this,” as political columnist Molly Ivins puts it. Listening to Ivins take potshots at the three-ring, backwoods hick circus that is the Texas state legislature provide some of the most amusing parts of Diaries. [Read the full article]
So we've all heard of Wayne Bobbitt and his angry wife Lorena who hacked off his manhood in a fit of pique… but 33-year-old Jakub Fik went one better (or worse) and hacked off his own manhood and hurled it at police. Along with some knives. Quite what he was thinking hasn't come to light, but luckily the resourceful officers in Chicago not only apprehended Fik but also his severed member, getting him and it to a hospital in time for them to be surgically reunited. (Via All Headline News)