Now, we're all for pampering, but Je Joue is a whole new level of bling when it comes to self-pleasure. The ultimate in personal gratification, the Je Joue massager is the most creative and satisfying sex toy ever designed. It quivers, glides and swirls over your most sensitive areas in patterns of infinitely variable thrilling vibrations.
The Je Joue handset is supplied with three changeable pleasure pads that deliver different thrilling sensations.
The pleasure pad can slide, swirl, tease, tantalise and shake, with the movements controlled by the PleasureWare software supplied - program your own pleasure patterns!
Je Joue connects to your computer (PC or Mac) with PleasureWare software so you can design your own Pleasure Grooves. Download them to the handset with the USB cable supplied and prepare for bliss.
This could well be the ultimate Valentine's present - either from a boy who really cares (because the £200+ price tag will take some definite commitment) or, of course, just to yourself. Because, as they say, you're worth it.
If Je Joue is out of your budget range, you can still get your pleasure grooves with the iBuzz
If you've been enjoying the Channel 4 comedy series The IT Crowd, you'll know all about the perils of dating geeks. Shy and nervous they may be, but give them a bit of self confidence and they become unstoppable love machines - and they'll be forever grateful to you for it too. Sex Tips For Geeks is an exhaustive guide for geeky men to finally understand what women want - and give it to them! So if there's a geek you've developed a crush on but know he'll be too diffident to do anything, print this out, leave it on his desk and affix your email on a post-it note…
We talked about what you'd do with 100 dildos before, but what would you do with 25 million condoms? The Brazilians know - they have a carnival! The enlightened Brazilian government are distributing 25 million condoms completely free during the country's famous Carnival holidays, which will see the entire country go party crazy. As Reuters reports: "Carnival kicks off across the nation on February 25, heralding several days of parades, parties, revelry and, for some people, sexual abandon. The Rio de Janeiro carnival is the best known worldwide but every big city has its own celebrations."
Ladies! If you're fond of giving love bites but your partner finds you a bit too tiger-like sometimes, tell them to ponder the mating rituals of giant squid and consider themselves lucky.
"New Zealand based marine biologist Steve O'Shea says giant squid have some bizarre mating methods.
He says the creatures do not mean to eat each other but the females accidentally bite bits off of the males during mating.
"It's not intentional cannibalism, it's certainly inadvertent," he said." [Read the full story at UnderwaterTimes.com]
We have, naturally, a whole bunch of edible sex items - like the Edible Bra, Edible Thong and Edible Undies, plus Erotic Edible Body Powder and lots of other Rude Food. That should stop you acting like an overly-large horny cephalopod.
Ananova: "Roseanne Barr says George Clooney does impressions of Groucho Marx - with his penis.
She told Attitude magazine: "One night we were all drunk, John Goodman took a picture of George naked with Groucho Marx glasses over his private area and we used to have that on the fridge on the Roseanne show with a magnet on top of it."
"But someone stole it. I always check to see if it's on eBay, all of us do, but somebody must have just thrown it away because it's never shown up." [Read the full story] [via Gloria Brame]
The Silent Night vibrator is the quietest vibrator yet - and we've just got them in stock here at Lovehoney. The Silent Night is even quieter than the Silencer, and even quieter than the Whisper… Shh! Hear that? No? Exactly.
If you want to browse our whole collection of Extra Quiet Vibrators, we've got several more silent lovelies for you.
It's official. Sex toys are the new rock'n'roll. Life Style Extra reports that "Sex mad Brits have blown their supposedly prudish image with two-thirds watching porn with their partners while over half own sex toys, according to a new poll.
The sexy survey revealed that the majority of couples today indulge their fantasies and enjoy the pleasures of the adult entertainment industry.
Researchers found that 69 per cent of adults are willing to give approval to the porn industry with 58 per cent actually owning sex toys, erotic films or magazines."
The report goes on to say: "Monogamy is not high on the fantasy wish list of most as the survey also reports that the UK’s top three sexual fantasies are threesomes, sex with a stranger and the tricky task of getting it on while skydiving".
Just nipping out to get some parachutes in stock…
That's the question being asked by Jeremy Westphai at 100dildos.com. His friend got him 100 super cheap dildos (actually vibrators but whatever) as a joke present - now Jeremy's trying to find a "non-sexual, non destructive" way to use all 100 and he's looking for suggestions. If something comes to mind, let him know!
If, of course, you are looking for a dildo of your very own, we've got hundreds for you to browse
To get the best use out of your sex toys, you've got to look after them as well. It's important to use a sex toy cleaner to ensure good hygiene and keep you in tip top condition too. Health24.com has a good guide to caring for your sex toys, and the Lovehoney Guide to Looking After Your Sex Toys has even more info to ensure you're healthy and happy!
There's a new computer virus going round called variously the Kama Sutra virus or the Nymex virus. As the Boston Herald explains: "It’s named after the Kama Sutra, a Hindu manual of erotic love, but it won’t be making whoopee with computers today. The latest computer virus — its various names include Kama Sutra and Nyxem — does reproduce though, and that’s how it stands to potentially wipe out information and programs from millions of computers today. Kama Sutra is a mass-mailing worm that people unknowingly welcome into their computers by clicking on malicious links or opening malicious attached files, tempted by infected e-mails with subject lines that include “School girl fantasies gone bad” or “*Hot Movie*” or the seemingly innocuous “ebook.pdf” or “My photos.” "
Basically - don't open any email attachments unless you are absolutely sure what they are, even if they are from someone else at work. If you want the real Kama Sutra, we've got it, along with scores of other better sex books.