1. If you're one of the lucky people blessed with an amazing relationship and an extremely fulfilling sex life, don't read this. For the rest of you who, like me, have been in a relationship where sex with your long-term partner seems like more of a chore than something to make your toes curl, read on…

    Hiding your sex toys from prying eyes (whether they belong to your children, your flatmate or the home-help) is a priority for many people. On Orgasm Army, the Hiding them from the Kids thread has lots of handy hints for keeping your privates, er, private.

    It looks like the only way to be really sure is to keep your sex toys under lock and key in a dressing table or bedside cabinet. Or a safe. This Adult Sex Toy Case can help if you don't have suitably equipped bedroom furniture - it's supplied with a padlock and key.

    You have to feel for Orgasm Army member Pink Sock who went on holiday to find that her toy chest had been invaded…

    "I actually went overseas to live for a year and left my toys in a box that was taped up to the max. Unfortunately curiosity must have gotten the better of a family member, because when I returned the tape had been cut and taped over… I had to throw the toys out after someone suggested my mother had been using them…"


    Once, twice, three times the orgasm!
    Thought one vibrating love egg was good? How about three?! Triple orgasms from these great Toy Joy bullets.
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    Cock Locker Inflatable Cock Sleeve
    Ever feel under pressure to perform? Now you can perform under pressure with the Cock Locker inflatable male sex toy. Rock on!
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    Some steamy stories turning up on the Orgasm Army Sex Stories forum. Here's one entitled A Whisky & Lemonade by jallen944.

    Remote Control Snuggler Butterfly Vibrator Is Orgasm Army member KeithB the only perv in the village? Going by this delirious review it doesn't sound like it - the air in his secluded Welsh valley must be ringing with the sound of butterflies (yes, that kind) and sneakily inserted bullet vibrators. What we like most about this review is the cautionary tale at its heart - don't laugh at your friend's bullet-packed ass until you're sure you aren't packing one yourself! Sort of a modern version of 'People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones'. I did say sort of…

    Gwhizzer Sex Toy (small picture) Looks painful, doesn't it? All those hard plastic edges and that long spiny bit… but educational somehow, the kind of toy you could hand in as the practical part of a Design GCSE exam. If they have such things. And your teacher might well prefer a CyberSkin Cyber Suck (if he's a he) or a Vibrating Rock Chick (if she's a she). Still, at least this also-ran entry in our Design a Sex Toy competition isn't made out of Meccano - that would mean the contestant, who we suspect to be someone close to Lovehoney's heart, really did have a screw loose…

    Remote Control Snuggler Butterfly Vibrator review

    He's back! Our Orgasm Army reviewer keith.b, keen to share tales of his filthy antics, here involving a beach, a remote control butterfly vibrator, a game girl and a cast of voyeurs. We're not sure that we can recommend using your sex toys until you pass out, one of this reviewer's specialist tastes, but his girlfriends sound like fun. They won't be able to keep their 'very tight vaginas' for long if they carry on like this, though…

    I was absolutely hammered. I lot one of my shoes on the way home from the nightclub and my mates were laughing hysterically at my skirt hitched in my panties. Nice of them to let me know… a whole five minutes after leaving the club.

    Green Eyed Monster Vibrator Sex Toy (small picture) Men are from Mars, women are from Venus, eh? So where does that put the Green-eyed Monster Vibe? If you've ever had a pantie-dampening moment while watching Attack of the Saucermen or Mars Attacks, or if you've suffered the trauma of alien abduction and want to put the experience behind you (not that hole, Mr Grey!) with some ribtickling sex-toy play, this is the vibe for you. Unfortunately it's not actually going to be made - or not by us, at least - because it didn't win our Design a Sex Toy competition. Still, you have to love any entry that features the phrase 'the man puts the monster on his penis'. We've all been there, pal …

    Spotted in the Sun online: according to a new book, The Rough Guide to the Brain, sleeping with someone early on can increase your chances of a long-term relationship.

    Dr Barry Gibb (not to be confused with a Bee Gee) claims that, 'During sex and particularly orgasm, the hormones oxytocin and vasopressin are released, with are associated with the build-up of commitment, bonding and trust.'

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