Looks painful, doesn't it? All those hard plastic edges and that long spiny bit… but educational somehow, the kind of toy you could hand in as the practical part of a Design GCSE exam. If they have such things. And your teacher might well prefer a CyberSkin Cyber Suck (if he's a he) or a Vibrating Rock Chick (if she's a she). Still, at least this also-ran entry in our Design a Sex Toy competition isn't made out of Meccano - that would mean the contestant, who we suspect to be someone close to Lovehoney's heart, really did have a screw loose…
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He's back! Our Orgasm Army reviewer keith.b, keen to share tales of his filthy antics, here involving a beach, a remote control butterfly vibrator, a game girl and a cast of voyeurs. We're not sure that we can recommend using your sex toys until you pass out, one of this reviewer's specialist tastes, but his girlfriends sound like fun. They won't be able to keep their 'very tight vaginas' for long if they carry on like this, though…
I was absolutely hammered. I lot one of my shoes on the way home from the nightclub and my mates were laughing hysterically at my skirt hitched in my panties. Nice of them to let me know… a whole five minutes after leaving the club.
Men are from Mars, women are from Venus, eh? So where does that put the Green-eyed Monster Vibe? If you've ever had a pantie-dampening moment while watching Attack of the Saucermen or Mars Attacks, or if you've suffered the trauma of alien abduction and want to put the experience behind you (not that hole, Mr Grey!) with some ribtickling sex-toy play, this is the vibe for you. Unfortunately it's not actually going to be made - or not by us, at least - because it didn't win our Design a Sex Toy competition. Still, you have to love any entry that features the phrase 'the man puts the monster on his penis'. We've all been there, pal …
Spotted in the Sun online: according to a new book, The Rough Guide to the Brain, sleeping with someone early on can increase your chances of a long-term relationship.
Dr Barry Gibb (not to be confused with a Bee Gee) claims that, 'During sex and particularly orgasm, the hormones oxytocin and vasopressin are released, with are associated with the build-up of commitment, bonding and trust.'
Most girlies know the common erogenous zones on their lover's body, but there's one top secret, super sexy zone that you can stimulate to get your man's blood truly pumping…say hello to the cremaster muscle!
Ever since Jodie Marsh was seen sporting an underwear ensemble made entirely of sweets, the candy underwear range has been a real hit. It's a great birthday gift idea and also a good choice for hen or stag night hilarity. Giving a jokey present is actually a good way to try something new in the bedroom - if your partner turns their nose up, it's easy to laugh it off and say it's just a joke.
But sometimes, like Orgasm Army reviewer Lisa1984 you can turn a joke present into the cue for a red-hot night of passion…
"One of my friends bought me one of these on my 21st birthday, when I opened it we all had a laugh. 'I will save it for later in the bed room,' I told 'em all. Later when me and my fiancee went to bed I put it on, but I had forgotten he has no teeth and could not bite into it! Lol!…"
You really couldn't make it up… :-)
Have you seen a picture of Leonardo Da Vinci's Vitruvian Man? Well, we're going to play a little game based loosely on that diagram. Very, very loosely… In fact, forget I mentioned anything about it.
Poor Orgasm Army cadet KLASSK… We can understand why many of you like to name your vibrators - the cute smiley face, the loveable tickling ears - but you may find, as in the following tale, that it makes you too emotionally attached!
We sell Shoot Your Own Adult Home Movies, which features all kinds of tips about how to - uh - shoot your own erotic movies. Perhaps if I'd had this book before starting my own ill-fated career in adult cinema, I wouldn't have made the mistakes I did…