It's the second of our videos from the Venus Sex Show, in which my johnson gets a treat from a masturbation machine.
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Hail Caesar! The ultimate sex toy is here…
280 pumps a minute - see the ultimate sex machine in action! This thrusting beauty delivers incredible orgasms - and you're in complete control!
More: Bedroom bondage videos
So I have a sex blog. I try out a lot of sex toys, I read a lot of news on sex, people talk to me about sex. I wouldn't call it a cushy job, but it certainly has its perks, right? But there is a downside, my friends. A very serious downside. Just this evening - after having yet another friend tell me that what I do is certainly not work - I was sat here with vibrating nipple clamps dangling from my… well… nipples, naturally, for the betterment of my sex bloggy knowledge. It is all for you, and darn it, I don't complain.
You always do it at the same time, roughly the same night, in the same place and in the same position/s. If this sounds familiar to you, you and your lover could be stuck in a sex rut
There's nothing more frustrating than a vibrator that doesn't quite get you there, and when it comes to vibrators, for most people it's a case of 'the more power the better'. But working out how powerful a sex toy is, without trying it for yourself, is near-enough impossible. Don't worry! Lovehoney has valiantly tested the lot to find the top 10 toys with the strongest vibrations and most intense sensations.
Mains powered sex toys top our chart, because of the large amount of energy they receive from your power supply - there's just no beating them if power is top of your vibrator shopping list. Rechargeable toys come a close second, with their excellent battery life and strong motors, followed up by traditional battery-powered sex toys that still pack an incredible punch.
Erotic fantasy is the spice of any good sexual relationship, so let yours run wild in the bedroom…
At the end of day two of the Venus Berlin Sex Show, a dump from the camera's memory reveals some random weirdness - most of it willy-shaped.
Have you ever noticed when you're at at deli counter in Sainbsbury's that the salami (titter) looks just like a (titter) penis (titter).
Well, somebody else has too, so they've taken sausage-tittering to the logical extreme and produced a salami THAT REALLY DOES LOOK LIKE A PENIS! And they called it Mr Salami.
One slice or two?
More good news from the Venus Berlin Sex Show for the world's lazy onanists, this time from Japan. And no, we don't mean the pretty Japanese girl in the bunny outfit, rather the SOM Series of electrical masturbators that she's representing.
Much more clinical in appearance than many fucking machines - a polite way of saying they don't look like they've been made in a shed - the SOM Series is a range of masturbators, two for men and one for women.
While I was working on the last series on introducing sex toys to your partner, costumes kept coming up into the discussion around these parts. The two are quite related, really - one may rely more on fantasy than on batteries, but both require an open mind, a sexy attitude, and an interest in pleasing your partner (and yourself, of course - we're none of us Mother Theresa here).
So what do you know about costumes? Do you know the different kinds that are out there? How about how to use them without laughing out loud and spoiling all the fun? Can you imagine the right scenarios to go with the costumes?
And from all of these questions come the next series. Over the next three Fridays (they'll be posted early in the morning, regardless of when you finally get to them, sleepy-head), I'll be talking about the various ins and outs (literally and figuratively, naturally) of costumes and how to best incorporate them into your bedroom (or out room) play. I'll try to touch on the major topics, but as always, if there is anything you are wondering that I don't bring up, do feel free to give a shout. We're all of us friendly here…