Truly, it's a dream come true. This evening on Top Gear on BBC 2, Lovehoney's humble Erotic Car Seat Seduction Massager had the honour of gently massaging the buttocks of politically incorrect car-mad motormouth Jeremy Clarkson. In case you missed it, the programme's repeated again on Wednesday on BBC 2 at 7 o'clock. Or you can see it on the BBC iPlayer for 30 days.
Either way, we'll try to bring you some pictures of Mr C having his rear-end electronically fondled very soon.
If you haven't tried this one yet, it might just make your man pop his cork!
Has the world gone mad? No! We're just feeling particularly generous! For a limited period, you can buy the Durex Play Charm Vibrator for half price, saving you a massive £25!
Play Charm is a fab vibrator from a name that you can trust. Smartly packaged it makes a perfect present. But be quick, this low low price won't last for ever!
If you fancy giving your lover a sensual massage, don't forget these erotic essentials…
McBirdie says: Shut your yapper, Sexpert.
According to an article in The Sun, psychologist Dr. Sandra Pertot has come out with the new theory that not everyone is capable of having hot sex. She says that there are as many different sexual personality types as there are personality types and therefore, some of us just won't be able to get the job done.
"We accept there are so many different personality types, why don't we accept that there are so many differences in sex? Just like some people will never be able to become a Hollywood actor, some people won't be able to have hot sex - so why do sex therapists say they can?
If you type in 'great sex' to Google, you will find hundreds of books promising you lusty sex. From day one of my career, I had couples coming to me saying they were upset they were not having passionate sex.
The implication is, if you follow the programme in these books, you will have hot sex."
Well. How nice.
If vibrating rubber duckies are not your style, you're gonna love this dinky waterproof massager!
Now, all things considered, I don't get that excited about condoms. I mean, sure, like most girls, I do love a ribbed condom every now and again. And glow in the dark ones are fun. But if you're in a relationship where you don't need to use them, you don't tend to think about them very often. Maybe once in awhile for a change, but not too much.
So you can imagine how interesting reviews would have to be to get me to think very hard about putting a box of condoms into my next order. But honestly, I love the confused pleasure inherent in the reviews for the Trojan Twisted Pleasures Condom:
Turn your living room into your man's own private 'titty bar' and give him a lap dance he'll never forget…