Let's look at the positives - you love your husband, you've enjoyed 14 years together and you want to spend the rest of your life with him.
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Last week saw the inaugural O Awards, a night of back-slappery and bonhomie in Los Angeles, where the great, good and not-so-good of the sex toys industry assembled for a round of hearty self congratulations.
Lovehoney was there to enjoy the cheap (free) booze and the view from the top floor of the Sheraton Hotel Universal Studios. And to applaud politely, sometimes noisily, from the wings as the winners went up to collect their gongs.
And, of course, to bask in the reflected glory that we were first to bring more than a handful of the winning products to the UK over the past couple or three years. We make it our mission to bring you the best sex toys, so we took it as a giant pat on the back for us, too.
Needless to say, our head buyer Bonny Hall couldn't help herself when presented with the opportunity to press her fizzog in front of the camera…
Sliquid won the award for "Outstanding Lube, Lotion or Potion", which was designed to "recognize excellence in lubricants, massage oils, and other necessities." NICE.
"I owe this award, and indeed every scintilla of success I've ever had in my entire life, to the incredible and incredibly good-looking team at Lovehoney," Mr Elliott might have said had we bothered to ask him.
More gurning award winners after the break…
Everyone knows about the bitter rivalry between Microsoft and Apple, but in this case, Microsoft have come out on top due to their clever iPod Amnesty ad campaign.
But we here at Lovehoney can't help feeling like we've seen this idea somewhere before…
In fact, Lovehoney launched the Rabbit Amnesty programme back in 2007 - so we're positively OG in the amnesty game!
To help you on your way to designing an award-winning sex toy for the Design A Sex Toy competition, we've got in touch with the people behind Monogamy, Sliquid, Monkey Spanker and We-Vibe to find out their top tips for making it in the industry.Julie Peasgood
I don't think losing your virginity is the main problem here, as I'm pretty sure you could go out on a Saturday night and sooner or later pull a girl.
Attractive, intelligent, talented and tattooed. You may never have heard of Zak Sabbath before, but after this interview you'll definitely be Googling his name and searching for preview clips.
Zak is one of the leading males in the alt porn industry. Having acted in porn for Vivid Entertainment and Bad Seed Productions, Zak's colourfully decorated body is becoming a regular and much appreciated sight for those who like their erotica to have some real grit and substance.
Not only does Zak star in porn but he produces some of the most amazing and unique art under his real name Zak Smith. In fact, the talented chap received an MFA from Yale University in 2001 and his newly released book "We Did Porn" is already highly rated and reviewed by those lucky enough to get their hands on a copy
We caught up with Zak to find out more…
Carly Drew: What are your feelings in regards to the porn industry right now, this second?
Zak Sabbath: I like it when it lets people who are smart make the movies they want, I don't like it when it doesn't.
CD: Very rarely do you see any natural light (unless it's an outside scene) so it's hard to figure out if porn is a naked 9 - 5 job or if you're all burning the midnight oil. What hours do you normally work on a porn film?
ZS: They usually try to shoot during normal business hours, but they're movies, and movies can sprawl sometimes.Julie Peasgood
Yes they do - and yes it's a lot to do with age! Many factors can cause vaginal dryness - it's extremely common.
The Prof. gives us some tips on designing the next big thing in sex toys! Enter Lovehoney's Design A Sex Toy Competiton and you could win £1,000 and have your idea turned into a reality!
More: More Sex Toys TV
Beautifully presented and available in four different varieties, these fair trade, eco-conscious, vegan friendly condoms are made entirely from fair trade and FSC certified rubber and are sure to please even the fussiest of environmentalists!
Have you ever been playing with your favourite sex toy and thought - this is great, but I know what could make it better…?
Have you ever had an idea for a brilliant vibrator but never known how to bring it to life?
Have you ever wanted to try your hand at designing the best male masturbator in the world?
Now you can do all that and receive some awesome prizes in the process, thanks to Lovehoney's Design A Sex Toy Competition!
Summer is here! Well… kind of.
In between the bursts of rain and the scorchingly hot sun, there are plenty of occasions to play and we're going to show you exactly how!
Whether you already own these sex toys or are considering buying something new, don't do anything until you've read this brilliant guide on how to really heat things up this summer.
If it's hot outside and you're stuck indoors, then pop a pack of Durex Play 2 in 1 Massage Melts in the fridge and get ready to really cool yourself down.
These freezable disks look just like ice cubes but on contact with the skin, they melt into a body-safe, water-based lubricant that can be used absolutely anywhere! So indulge in a tingly cool shoulder massage or use them in a more intimate context.