A sales bloke from Kelkoo just got in touch with Lovehoney to persuade us to advertise our sex toys on his price comparison site. He was offering a bargain rate and was pleased to let us know that Kelkoo now has a special Adult Entertainment section where XXX-rated products like vibrators, dildos and cat food are kept away from tender young eyes.
Wait a minute. Cat food? Yes, cat food.
For some reason, the powers that be at Kelkoo think that your Adult Entertainment can be enhanced by seductive items such as Whiskas Adult Market Produce in Jelly 24x100g from B&Q, a Folding Deaf / Blind / Low Vision Aluminium Cane Stick from eBay or a John Lewis Coin Purse (Red).
I can just about imagine using a folding cane for a little light bedroom S&M, but that story about the girl who plastered her genitals in cat food is just a variation on an urban myth, right?
And as for the coin purse, surely that's not big enough - why not just put a massive tip jar by the bed and have done with it?
Our friends at Cosmopolitan are running their annual Ultimate Women of the Year Award and are calling on all Lovehoney customers to nominate their Ultimate Women.
Do you have a friend or family member who you think deserves recognition for what they've achieved over the last year?
Maybe you have an amazing friend who's helped you through a tough time, a relative who's done fantastic things for charity, or a colleague who's climbed Everest single-handedly?
Or maybe you've just read about someone in the newspapers who you thought was truly incredible? If so, we'd love to hear from you.
Email your nominee, along with why they should win, to email@example.com.
You wanted hot, tight and sexy men's clothing and we have delivered. Renegade Rubber is our new range of moulded latex wear, latex underwear and functional fetish attire designed to assault your senses in the most erotic of ways.
The ultra-tight fits and high-shine aesthetics are sure to please every man's inner pervert AND the one hiding inside his partner, too. If you're yet to give latex clothing a test-run, there hasn't been a better time to lube up and slide into one of the Renegade Rubber latex outfits.
I’m all for a sexy two-day growth, but it hurts like hell when it’s in direct contact with the delicate female vulva (the words sand and paper spring to mind).
Assuming you use common sense in not over exerting yourself, there’s no reason in the world why you shouldn’t be doing it - and yes, it is quite safe!
It would be unusual for a couple, however much they still found each other attractive, to still want sex every day after 16 years together.
Female ejaculation - or squirting - has been around for centuries, but only recently has it become a desirable addition to a lady’s sexual repertoire. Previously, the fluids resulting from female ejaculation were often dismissed as peeing during sex, leaving naturally talented squirters stressed and embarrassed.
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We now know the liquid is closer to what’s secreted by the male prostate when stimulated, leading many to refer to the Skene’s glands (the glands around the G-spot responsible for the secretions) as ‘the female prostate’.
And, most importantly, squirting is now celebrated! Most lovers now see the gushing liquid as an amazing physical expression of arousal, and women are clamouring to experience the exotic sensations a squirting orgasm brings.
Want to join Club Squirt? This guide will help, but like everything in the world of sex, you’ll need to spend some time figuring out what works best for you and your body.
Before you begin
If you are in a relationship, it’s advisable to bring it up with your partner before surprising them with your new skillset. Although obviously your bodily secretions are your own business, it’s worth giving their preference some consideration.
Also bear in mind that for many women it’s a skill that, once mastered, may start happening involuntarily.
The good news is that thanks to a litany of recent porn videos starring female ejaculation, many people are already fully signed up to the idea and eager to reenact the film fantasy in their own home.
Relaxation is a key aspect of squirting orgasms, so ensure you stay chilled as you prepare.
You can learn solo or with a partner, so pick whichever you prefer.
Make sure you clear your calendar - potentially over multiple sessions - and don’t put yourself under pressure. Use the bathroom beforehand, and put some towels down.
If you mean can it do you any harm, the simple answer is no. I would only be concerned if it was interfering with your everyday life or relationship.