The trouble with zombies is that they come at night, and so do we. Most of our sexual thrills are had between the sheets before bedtime and many of us will encounter our first zombie while getting frisky with a partner or ourselves. Most inconvenient.
On the plus side, Lovehoney customers will have plenty of weapons within arm's reach to help them combat the brain-hungry Z army.
At Lovehoney we believe in providing the best possible sex advice for all occasions, so in order to keep you sexually happy during the inconvenience of the apocalypse and the collapse of society, I've tried and tested some of the best methods of defeating zombies using only sex toys by subjecting myself to the wrath of three very brain-hungry zombies. Eeeek!
Rechargeable sex toys and mains-powered vibes are brilliant as they’re economic and high powered, allowing you to enjoy hours and hours and hours of sexual pleasure without the need to buy expensive batteries. But once the zombie apocalypse comes it’s only a matter of time before the power is switched off and supplies of batteries run out, rendering all of your sex toys useless.
There’s only one thing more depressing than a full-on zombie invasion and that’s a full-on zombie invasion without satisfying masturbation. If your boyfriend is out all night eating some other girl’s brains, you’re going to feel mightily dejected when your collection of sex toys is devoid of power. What’s a girl to do?!
There is one shining beacon of sexual satisfaction in the post apocalyptic void and that beacon is my Spooky Sex Toy of the Week - the SolarStim Solar-Powered Bullet Vibrator…
There's one Hitachi product you won't see at the company's trade shows and conventions - its now infamous 'Magic Wand' massager. The Hitachi Magic Wand was originally designed in the 70s as a two-speed muscle massager, but it soon became clear this mains-powered electric vibrator was incredible for intimate, as well as deep-tissue, massage. Renowned as one of the most powerful vibrators ever invented, it quickly made its way into bedrooms the world over and has stayed there ever since, even though Hitachi shy away from promoting or featuring the product.
But in a further blow to the nation's pleasure, the product is now banned in the UK. Without a CE mark to declare it as safe for the European market, trading standards have been searching sex toy warehouses and stopping the sale of the appliance within the entire European Economic Area. So what hope is there now for the country's tight and unsatisfied (love) muscles?
In Lovehoney's continued efforts to bring sexual happiness to the nation, they have designed an improved, totally safe, UK-friendly version of the Magic Wand vibrator. The Lovehoney Classic Magic Wand® Vibrator is now available to soothe and stimulate – and all at a pocket-friendly price of just £49.99. What's great about this wand is that it has a UK plug, meaning it's perfectly designed for totally safe use in the UK with no loss of power. Stylishly designed with a quality build, this toy is a brilliant way to experience the iconic magic wand sex toy for yourself. The Lovehoney Classic Magic Wand® Vibrator delivers intense stimulation to your intimate spots with its range of delectable vibration speeds. Designed to access those hard-to-reach areas with a flexible head, this new legend delivers pleasure on demand.
One reviewer has already delivered her opinion, saying: "I love, love, love this wand and plan to use it until the day it gives up on me, which going by Lovehoney quality means we will be together for a very long time."
The Lovehoney Classic Magic Wand® Vibrator is part of the Lovehoney own-brand range of sex toys. Each new toy in the range comes complete with stylishly designed packaging and includes an instruction leaflet to help you get the most out of your brand new sex toy.
Things got a bit hot on ITV's flagship daytime show, This Morning, with sexpert Jo Hemmings dishing out her top sex tips for a better love life and, with the help of two frisky 60-somethings, demonstrating the best positions for lovemaking.
Jo's top tip was to "introduce toys to the bedroom" and demonstrated the brand new Lelo Insignia Tiani (£60.00) - a remote controlled vibrator that's designed to be worn by the woman and controlled by her partner.
If you want to watch the segment, you can watch The Sexperts Talk Libido on the This Morning website.
Want some sexy fun this Halloween? If you're a fan of spooky treats and the devilishly undead, take a look at the four new bullet vibrators in the Death By Orgasm range. Not only are they all waterproof and extremely powerful with a range of pleasure enhancing functions, but they're themed after traditional Halloween monsters and come packaged within a unique coffin-shaped tin that's great for giving as a gift or for use as storage.
In this week's Lovehoney TV video, Annabelle demonstrates how to use the four new Death By Orgasm sex toys:
An amazing treat for Halloween but equally pleasurable all year round, the products featured in the video includes The Mummy
, an intensely powerful 3 speed bullet; The Vampire
, a bullet with an a orgasmic bite; The Werewolf
, a stunning silver bullet and finally The Zombie
, a green vibe with a truly undead look.
Instead of spending your Halloween trick-or-treating this year, take to the bedroom instead and see if you can survive your very own death by orgasm.
Take your time with sex and foreplay - intercourse is recommended as often as possible to stimulate your natural secretions (the “use it or lose it” approach).
A recent online article caught our attention at Lovehoney. It suggested that orgasms, and the importance of having an orgasm, was becoming less important during sex. Initially it seems like a bold statement to make – what’s the point of having sex if you’re not seeking the ultimate release of climax?
After some thought though, it became obvious that (for some people at least), not having an orgasm wasn’t that important. The blog post by American health and sex expert Dr Emily Nagoski said that although we don’t seem to want as many orgasms, we want a lot more sex instead. Sexual happiness can come in a lot of different forms that don’t involve reaching a mind-blowing climax.
Instead of being orgasm-focused, both men and women are more inclined to seek different types of pleasure from sex: closeness, intimacy and sensuality.
To celebrate International Literacy Day, our most recent poll was all about Erotic Fiction. We asked Lovehoney blog readers if they prefered short stories or novels when reading erotic fiction.
Interestingly, 77.8% of those who voted said that they prefered short stories. While just 22.2% said that they enjoyed erotic novels more.
Whatever your preference, it's great to see so many interested in erotic literature!
Since International Literacy Day there's been an increase in the amount of self-penned stories submitted to our Erotic Fiction Forum, which is fantastic! Erotic fiction is a great way to explore what you love and discover new fantasies. If you fancy writing your own erotic fiction, whether it be a serialised novella or a few short stories, you can do so in our Erotic Fiction Forum.
Introducing the new Lelo SenseMotion™ Insignia range. These three innovative sex toys use the highest quality materials and newest technology to bring your sex life into the 21st century. Forget clunky plastic, jelly rubber and wired controls and say LELO to the future of sex with this trio of luxury sex toys.
Lyla, Tiani and Oden have been designed for sharing, with long-range movement-sensitive remote controls. Using SenseMotion™ technology, the remotes that control the vibrators are activated by movement, allowing you to increase or decrease the speed of vibration with just a tilt of the wrist. Holding the remote flat activates the lowest setting while tilting it vertically sends the toy into a high-powered frenzy.
The remote control vibrates in time with the toy, a clever twist that ensures you give your partner the right stimulation at the right time. Even if you’re in a different room to your partner, you’ll be able to feel everything they’re experiencing in the palm of your hand, allowing you to better empathise with their desires and easily fulfil them.
SPECIAL LAUNCH OFFER: GET A FREE LELO TANTRA TICKLER WITH EVERYTHING IN THE INSIGNIA RANGE
The benefits of vibrating cock rings are well documented but your partner doesn’t need to be one of the walking dead to enjoy the sexy pleasures of this blood red ring. Styled in silicone with supernaturally stretchy composition, it’s presented on a coffin card to make it the perfect spooky gift for your loving spectre.
The Death by Orgasm Fang Banger Vibrating Cock Ring (£14.99) is a silicone cock ring with a difference. Designed to slip around the penis and testicles, it provides a comfortable restriction that enhances erections by restricting blood flow. No surprises there.
The excitement comes in the form of the two vibrating bullets - there’s one for him and one for her. The smaller bullet sits beneath the testicles, enhancing his pleasure and the intensity of his orgasm. The larger bullet sits at the top of the cock ring and features a ghoulish pair of fangs that press against the clitoris during sex to ensure the best-possible stimulation for her in every position.