1. Anal 101: How to Put Things in Your Bum

    Anal play is great. There. We said it.

    No matter your gender or sexual orientation, everyone has a butthole and that butthole is packed with sensitive nerve endings that can feel amazing when stimulated.

    Anal play should never (EVER) hurt and, with proper preparation and slow progression, can be a completely new (and potentially more intense) way to climax.

    Read on to discover our top tips for exploring your dark side in the most pleasurable way possible.

    1. Get Clean


    With your butt's day job being what it is, it doesn't take a genius to work out why anal exploration takes a little extra prep to make sure you're clean.

    But being clean isn't just for hygeine and a common courtesy for a partner. Knowing that you're squeaky clean down below helps you (as the receiver) relax, and enjoy the experience more, too.

    For most people, this means making sure you've been to the toilet that day, and cleaning externally in the bath or shower.

    For those who'd like to take extra precautions, you may like to use an anal douche.

    Learn how to use an anal douche here.

    Shop Anal Douches

    2. Use Lube:

    Butt Plugs

    Unlike the vagina, the anus does not self-lubricate.


    This means that you must use lube when exploring any kind of anal penetration.

    There are no ifs, ands or but(t)s about it!

    We recommend using a water-based anal lube.

    Not only is a water-based lube compatible with all sex toys and condoms, but an anal-specific formula is thicker, and longer lasting than regular lube for better comfort and pleasure.

    Shop Anal Lubes

    3. Get Warmed Up:

    Butt Plugs

    No, we don't mean star jumps (though it probably wouldn't do you any harm!)

    Warming up for anal play means starting with small, shallow penetration before moving onto something larger and deeper, if you should choose to do so.

    Start with external play, stroking around the anus with a well-lubed finger, or try a little rimming.

    When you're ready for penetration, use that same well-lubed finger to slowly and gently explore.

    This helps relax your anal muscles and get them ready for penetration, should you decide to move onto something larger.

    A lot of people like to use a small, tapered anal toy at this stage. A beginner's butt plug is perfect.

    Shop Beginner's Butt Plugs

    4. Toy Around:

    Anal Toys

    Playing with anal toys can be extremely pleasurable on its own, and using one doesn't necessarily mean that anal sex will follow.

    Explore the full range of anal toys at your disposal, such as butt plugs, anal beads, anal probers, prostate massagers and anal vibrators, to really discover what you like.

    If you're struggling to insert a toy to it's full depth (and you'd like to) a top tip is to add more lube, and bear down slightly (yes, as if you were on the toilet) and lightly press on the base of your toy.

    Just remember that the best toys for beginners have a tapered tip and slender girth, and ALL anal toys should feature a flared base to prevent over-insertion.

     Shop Anal Toys

    5. After Play:

    Fresh Wipes

    If you've climaxed whilst wearing an anal toy (particularly a butt plug) the muscles in this area will have just contracted.

    This means you'll need to wait a moment or two to allow the muscles to relax again before removing your toy.

    You may find that adding a drop of lube helps your toy slide out more easily.

    If you've prepared properly and have been to the toilet prior to play, then it's extremely unlikely that you'll encounter any mess.

    However if you should find anything "new" on your toy, don't fret it. Poop is an occupational hazard of anal play and that's just a fact.

    Give yourself and your toy a good clean, and move on. (And maybe consider adding more fibre to your diet!)

    Shop Sex Toy Cleaners

    Top-Rated Beginner's Anal Toys:

    Want to find out more?

    1. sex advice from Lovehoney forum
    2. sex toy advice from Lovehoney

    Comments (8)

    • Stephanie Taylor: May 11, 2019 18:05
      I`m an anal "virgin" and to be perfectly honest scared of letting my partner "do it" to me.I`m worried about pain and damage to my butthole,besides I`ve got vagina for that sort of thing,but he keeps on at me,any advice?
    • Kirsty Mason: July 20, 2019 07:48
      Firstly, don't do ANYTHING you're not happy to do. It's your body and if you don't want to go there, and he's pressuring you to do so, that's out of order.
      If there is part of you that is curious about it but fear of what it feels like stops you exploring, then start by having an honest conversation with him about that fear. If he cares about you, he'll appreciate your honesty, and he'll be happy to take it at the pace you're comfortable with.
      Explore by yourself, using a finger that is well lubricated and you'll begin to get an idea of whether it's something you want to take further or not. If that feels good to you, take it up a level with a small toy.
      If/when you are ready to bring your partner into your anal play, ask him to go very slowly and to stick to using his fingers to begin with. Don't be afraid to stop him if it hurts or is uncomfortable. Make sure he is using a good amount of lube.
      When, and only when you're comfortable with his fingers penetrating you, and if the idea excites you, move on to penile penetration.
      Make sure your butt is well lubricated and ask him to enter you as slowly as possible. Once the head of his penis is in, ask him to move just an inch back and forth. When you're ready and wanting more, get him to slide just a little further in and out. Building up in this way will allow your butthole to stretch to accommodate him and should not cause you pain, or damage you.
      If at any point it hurts, STOP! Make sure you are well lubricated then try again.
      If at any point you don't want to do it, STOP!
    • Lisa: July 20, 2019 07:51
      I love a visit to Browntown Abbey, it's always best to be really turned on and go at your own pace. You should never have anal play done to you, it should be done by both of you. If you don't want to do it you should never feel pressured, if your partner loves you he should respect that. Go slow and decide if it's what you want as well.
    • Lisa: July 20, 2019 07:51
      I love a visit to Browntown Abbey, it's always best to be really turned on and go at your own pace. You should never have anal play done to you, it should be done by both of you. If you don't want to do it you should never feel pressured, if your partner loves you he should respect that. Go slow and decide if it's what you want as well.
    • Wantedwomen: July 20, 2019 07:54
      Any sexual act should be for your enjoyment as well as your partner's, if you are anxious it's not going to be enjoyable. Take your time with it don't force or rush anything. He maybe keen to know he has a butt hole as well, so you can discover sensations together. Patience is key and it's ok if you decide it's not for you. Don't feel you have to just because he asked.
    • Kimberly: July 20, 2019 13:55
      I tired anal with my ex and whilst he enjoyed it I found it very uncomfortable (kinda painful but not really) I’m with a new guy and he want to try it and because if my past experience I really not sure about it. (I’ve also got a cut at the top of my bum hole and I’ve been to the doctors about it and they said there isn’t really anything they can do it’ll heal on its own, and I don’t really want to either re cut it or make it bigger) any advice
    • Peter church: July 20, 2019 15:13
      You girls are so funny, I just love watching you videos ????
    • Kirsty Mason: July 20, 2019 15:36
      Hi Kimberley, I really strongly recommend not doing anything until you've completely healed. The skin in that area is thin and delicate and will easily tear again. Once you're certain you have healed, then use plenty of lubrication and ask your partner to go very slowly and gently. Stop immediately if you feel even the slightest pain. Good luck. :)