How to Masturbate (for Men):
Tips for Amazing Masturbation

Whether you’ve found yourself here because you’re curious about masturbation or if you’re bored with your tried-and-tested wanking routine, welcome. We’ve collated exciting tips to get you going – or shake things up – so you enjoy the pleasure of masturbation without always aiming (a-hem) to ejaculate.

Of course, jerking off to orgasm is perfectly okay and there’s no “normal” way for men to masturbate. Whatever your methods (so long as they’re safe and consensual), masturbation is a time for you to have fun.

Keep reading to learn how to masturbate if you have a penis and discover top tips, benefits, positions and toys. You’ll also get advice from Dr. Justin Lehmiller, psychologist and host of the Sex and Psychology Podcast.

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Self-exploration is a healthy and natural way to discover what feels good. Here are some of the benefits of masturbation:

• Research has shown a link between frequent ejaculation and a lower risk of prostate cancer in later life.

• Repeated orgasms can reduce premature ejaculation and masturbating an hour or so before sex can help you delay ejaculation.

• Masturbation can tone your pelvic floor muscles which can improve erectile dysfunction.

• Evidence suggests that men who masturbate more frequently feel a greater desire for sex with their partners than partnered men who masturbate infrequently.

• Masturbation triggers the brain to release endorphins, dopamine, oxytocin, testosterone and prolactin. This cocktail of hormones relieves pain, boosts your mood, activates your brain's reward system, encourages social bonding, improves your stamina and arousal and supports the immune system.

• The jury’s out over whether you’ll sleep better after ejaculating. Research (such as this study) routinely suggests that people think masturbating to orgasm helps them sleep better but there are no findings to support this belief.

• As long as you aren’t masturbating to the point it hurts or you notice any soreness or bleeding, masturbating is perfectly healthy.

Psychologist and host of the Sex and Psychology Podcast, Dr. Justin Lehmiller, says there’s no “standard” or ideal technique. Different things work for different people. But there are ways to make masturbating even more pleasurable, especially if you’re on wanking autopilot.

For many, “autopilot” might look like gripping your penis and repeatedly moving your hand up and down – after all, this is a tried-and-tested method of jerking off. However, there’s much more fun to be had when you’re playing with your penis.

Keep reading to learn some masturbation tips to up your solo pleasure game.

Use lube

Nobody likes the word “chafing”, especially when referring to masturbating. If you want to make masturbation feel better and avoid dryness and irritation, lube is your new best friend.

Adding a silky lube to your hand job is a super-simple and effective way of making every stroke ooze with pleasure. Lube is vital if you’re circumcised because the glans is more at risk of becoming dry.

Silicone lube lasts for a long time, doesn’t dry out as quickly as water-based lubes, and can help to prevent the skin of the penis from becoming dried out and desensitised. However, if you’re wanking off with silicone toys, opt for a good quality water-based lube and apply generously.

Check out our beginner’s guide to lube to learn all about the different types of lube, what they’re used for and how to lube up.

Explore all your erogenous zones

Heading straight for your penis is totally okay, but have you tried playing with your nipples, balls, or perineum before touching your cock?

Engaging in a bit of foreplay with yourself and touching, rubbing, pinching or stroking your erogenous zones (your nipples, neck, lips and ears) can be a fun way to pleasure yourself before The Main Event.

You could also explore your erogenous zones while jerking off to help intensify your orgasms. Tease all of those hungry nerve endings in the testicles while stroking your penis, or gently massage your perineum (the area between the testicles and anus) for an explosive build-up to that special finale.

Stimulating your erogenous zones will help you learn more about your body and what turns you on. And nothing you like is “weird” or necessarily says anything about your sexuality – just enjoy having more intense orgasms.

Focus on how you feel

Yes, wanking until you climax is fun. But sometimes we forget to just enjoy the sensation of pleasuring ourselves, and focus too much on the goal of orgasm. You’ll have much more fun wanking if you’re relax, so get comfortable.

“To get started, begin by taking a little time to relax and get in the mood, such as by thinking about a fantasy that you have. You can do this in the shower, in bed, or another private place you feel comfortable,” Dr. Justin Lehmiller tells Lovehoney. If you’re in bed, you could use pillows and blankets to elevate your hips and help you explore different angles during play.

Try to explore sensations that make you feel good rather than making your body ejaculate. One way to do this is to slow down and be more mindful of the touch you’re giving yourself. When you tune into your body, you’ll notice the build-up to orgasm.

If you’ve ever had a wank interrupted and found that your next orgasm is so much better, you’ll have an idea of the benefits of the technique “edging”.

To try edging, masturbate until you feel you’re close to climaxing (the edge of orgasm), then slow down or stop altogether. Once the pre-orgasmic sensation has eased, continue masturbating to bring yourself close to orgasm again. Do this a few times and when you eventually climax, it will likely be stronger and more intense.

Try a toy

Sex toys aren’t just for women or partnered sex. They can complement your masturbation sessions by simulating sex with a partner or adding sensations you can’t achieve with your hand alone.

No matter which male sex toy you use, apply lubricant to get the most out of it – just remember to use water-based lube with silicone toys. Whether you’re using them alone or with a partner, it’s always important to clean your sex toys after every use.

Male masturbators (aka “strokers” or “stroker sleeves”) are a good place to start. They’re great value for money and have a non-realistic appearance. If you’re after a more realistic feeling and are happy to spend a bit more, check out “pocket pussies” (or realistic vaginas).

The most popular option is probably Fleshlight. These toys mimic the sensation of having oral, vaginal or anal sex, depending on the inserted sleeve you use. Pocket pussies also come with different stimulating textures and bumps that line the canals for added masturbatory pleasure.

Male masturbators and realistic vaginas don’t vibrate so if vibrations are more your… vibe… then a male vibrator might be a good option. These toys use the thrill of vibrations or pulsing motions to get you off and are available as premium toys that do all the work for you, or simpler sheathes.

In the Lovehoney Forum, you’ll find a conversation thread entitled, “Tips to make a wank special” and a recurring tip is to try a prostate massager. These sex toys deliver unique pleasure when they stimulate the prostate gland (or P-spot, more on that below). In turn, this increases your chances of having intense, multiple orgasms. It’s no wonder they’re so highly recommended.

Using a cock ring isn’t just for partnered sex. By trapping blood in your penis, they contribute to harder, stronger and longer-lasting erections. You also could use a double cock ring to stimulate your balls simultaneously.

Visit our beginner’s guide to sex toys to get answers to questions you might have about male toys.

Switch it up

If you have a reliable way that gets you off, that’s great – unless you find wanking boring or struggle to come during partnered sex. There are so many ways you can switch up the routine to make masturbating fun again.

Swap hands

The Lovehoney Forum is bursting with discussions of wanking. Men typically masturbate with their dominant hand but will sometimes use their non-dominant hand “to keep it interesting”. Though why stick with one hand? SEXYGET_69 suggests using “both [hands] at the same time! Fingers interlocked, well-oiled cock and stroke with cupped hands, up and down, whilst running the ridges of the underside of the interlocked fingers over the head of my cock”.

Fantasise

Automatically find yourself opening up a porn site? Try fantasising instead or reading an erotic story. Consensually shared photos of your partner can also be a hot alternative to porn. In the Lovehoney Forum, MrGoodGuy says, “I have a huge pic collection of my wife, and consider HER as my porn stash”.

Change position

You could also vary the position you wank in. In the shower, leaning against a wall, sitting on your bed or chair, or kneeling on all fours will activate different muscles and vary the sensation.

Change speed and grip

Speaking of sensations, have you tried altering the grip of your penis or the speed you jerk off? Slowing your solo play down by using long, rhythmic strokes will tap into different pleasures than hard and fast wanking.

Have you tried tugging on your balls, or moving your hips in circles? How about stroking your cock with one hand in long, slow motions from the base to the tip and using the other hand to encircle the head of your penis?

For Dr. Justin Lehmiller, exploration for pleasure is key: “As you explore further and begin to discover what feels pleasurable for you, mix it up and try different positions, techniques, and hand grips to really understand your own body.”

Masturbate with a partner

Masturbating with a partner (aka “mutual masturbation”) is when you and your partner masturbate simultaneously. It’s a super hot and sensual way to see your partner turned on and learn what feels good for them. Lovehoney Forum user our-adventure-bed agrees; “If my wife masturbates in front of me, it makes my blood bubble – I find it so hot!”

Men who masturbate with a partner report greater sexual satisfaction, although though it’s not clear whether jerking off with a partner causes sex to be more satisfying. What is clear is that exploring your body, pleasure, and discovering what you like is always a winner.

While mutual masturbation is all about pleasuring yourselves together, if it leads to playing with each other’s bodies, we’re all for that!

Want to introduce truly mind-blowing, full-body orgasms into your solo sessions? Say hello to your prostate or “male G-spot”.

The prostate is located in front of the rectum, between the bladder and the penis and surrounded by nerve endings. Some men find massaging their prostate (with a well-lubed finger or toy) feels good and can lead to a prostate orgasm. Others might be able to experience a blended orgasm.

Dr Emily Morse, Doctor of Human Sexuality says that by inviting anal play into solo sex, men “can enjoy a simultaneous penile orgasm and a prostate orgasm.”

Remember that the anus isn’t self-lubricating (unlike a vagina) so it’s really important to use plenty of lube during all kinds of anal play.

Here’s how we recommend starting your journey with anal play:

• Begin slowly. Use one, well-lubed finger to gently circle or stroke the outside of your anus.

• Gently insert one finger inside. Your prostate gland is about the size of a walnut. You can find it around two inches inside your anus, on the wall closest to your stomach. You’ll know when you find your prostate as it will feel softer than the surrounding area. Gently massage your prostate and if this feels good, you can speed up.

• Prefer not to use your finger? Try using a butt plug or a prostate massager.

• Rather keep things out of your bum? Sex educator Ruby Rare says you can stimulate your prostate externally by massaging your perineum manually or with a vibrator.