How to Masturbate for Men

In this guide: Benefits of masturbation | How to masturbate solo | How to masturbate anally | How to masturbate with a partner

Masturbation can easily become routine. When it’s so familiar it’s almost mechanical, it can lose some of the thrill. Perhaps you’ve even wondered whether you’re doing it right – or too much!

First of all, there’s no “normal” way to masturbate – only the way that feels right for you. If that sounds a bit too peace-and-love, take it from folks on the Lovehoney Forum. There are so many genius ways people have found to get off, and you’re about to hear it directly from them.

In this guide, you’ll get our expert tips on how to masturbate for men (or anyone with a penis), as well as inspiration from the pleasure aficionados on our Forum. Expect hand techniques, prostate play tips, and toy recommendations to give your mazz a little magic.

Only got time for a quickie?

If you’ve got time, read the full article for all our juiciest advice. Otherwise, you can get the quick and dirty version here:

• Masturbation is natural and may even have health benefits. There’s no such thing as “too much” wanking, provided it isn’t causing you pain or stopping you from living a full life.
• Lube is essential. A good quality, body safe lube can enhance the pleasurable sensations of masturbation while protecting your skin from chafing and excessive friction. It can also add a pleasing wetness to the experience.
• Slowing down might give you a stronger orgasm. Try teasing your nipples, balls, or perineum before touching your penis. Anticipation can boost your arousal and make climax more intense when it happens.
• Different hand or leg positions add novelty. For example, try bending your knees and pulling them back towards your shoulders (instead of straightening them out) when you come. You’ll find more hand techniques and masturbation positions below.
• Male sex toys offer easy, safe self-exploration. You get to experience sensations your hands can’t achieve and work out what turns you on. Start with a male masturbator, stroker, or a small anal toy – and stick to trusted, body-safe brands.
• Prostate play may give you deep pleasure. Some people find prostate orgasms are deeper, more full-bodied and longer lasting than regular penile orgasms. Get tips for safe prostate-focused masturbation at the end of this article.

“Men sometimes worry that masturbating will affect their sex life with a partner, but if your sex life is satisfying and working well for you, masturbation is unlikely to interfere with it much,” says Dr Ben Davis, men's health GP and COSRT-registered sex therapist.

In fact, masturbating is a natural, healthy way to explore your body and your pleasure. It can be a handy stress reliever too. Here are some of the benefits of masturbation:

• It can help you understand what turns you on and makes you come, which may help you feel confident and communicate better in the bedroom.
• Orgasm can release mood-boosting hormones and chemicals like dopamine and endorphins, which are associated with making you feel satisfied and even euphoric. This may also temporarily relieve pain or stress. stress.
• If premature ejaculation is something that impacts your sex life, masturbating an hour or so before sex may help improve your stamina.
• Orgasms may help you sleep better, even if it’s just placebo or because you feel more relaxed. With more than half of men (56%) turning to sex for better sleep, it’s worth a shot!
• Frequent ejaculation has been associated with lower risk of prostate cancer later in life. That’s not to say that masturbation can prevent prostate cancer, but there’s certainly no harm in it.

Sometimes solo pleasure feels like a safer alternative to partnered sex, for example, if you’re dealing erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation. “It's worth knowing that both conditions are very treatable, and getting support can make sex feel enjoyable again rather than something to avoid,” says Ben.

So, provided masturbating doesn’t cause you pain or get in the way of your life, it’s perfectly harmless. But if you do find solo pleasure becomes painful, try masturbating less and using lube. And be sure to speak to your doctor if you often experience painful masturbation, difficulty getting hard, or difficulty ejaculating.

There’s no single best masturbation technique, because everyone is different. However, you can make your solo session more pleasurable, especially when you usually wank on autopilot. If the tried-and-tested method of simply moving your hand up and down your shaft has lost its shine, try these tips:

Use a good lube

Nobody wants chafe or a sore banjo string after a wank! Lube creates a lovely, slick barrier between you and your hand, so the only friction you feel is the good kind. A handy tip for anyone, but vital if you’re circumcised, because the glans is more at risk of becoming dry.

The wetness of lube can be arousing in its own right, though some people don’t like the cold, tacky feeling. If that’s you, try popping your bottle of lube in a bowl of warm water and keep a clean towel nearby for clean-up.

You can also try lubes that aren’t water-based. “Many men enjoy masturbating with oil-based lubes. Whilst these can be great for masturbating and nourishing the skin, it’s important to remember they’re not safe with condoms,” says Dr Ben Davis.

Similarly, silicone lube can last longer and have a silkier texture than water-based lube. Just be careful not to use it with silicone sex toys, as it can degrade the material. For more expert tips, see our guide on how to use lube.

Try a bit of foreplay

Yes, climax feels good, but this is you-time! Don’t waste it by pressuring yourself to come.

“A lot of men learn to masturbate in a rushed way, as it can be difficult to find private time and space to enjoy it,” says Dr Ben Davis. “It's not uncommon for men to feel ashamed of masturbating or that they shouldn't be doing it.”

If you can, find a private space where you can relax and devote some time to your sexual self and exploring your own pleasure. and focusing on the sensations of your hands, the lube, even the sheets on your skin. Use this time to explore whatever sensations feel good or fantasise about a scenario you find a turn on. If watching porn feels good and stimulating, spend some time exploring what you like.

“Taking your time to enjoy your body, to learn what you like, what feels good, is a really great way to look after yourself and give yourself pleasure,” Ben continues. “It can also help you enjoy sex more with a partner, when you know what turns you on and what feels good."

Consider edging

On the subject of slowing down, ever heard of edging?

Edging is when you masturbate until you’re close to climaxing (the edge of orgasm), then slow down or stop altogether. Once the pre-orgasmic sensation has eased, you keep masturbating to bring yourself close to orgasm again. Do this a few times and when you eventually climax, and it might feel stronger and more intense.

Treat yourself to a sex toy

Toys can do things your hands can only dream of, with textures, motors, and even realistic materials that look and feel like the skin of a partner. Not sure where to start? Pick a simple stroker or male masturbator.

A stroker is a textured sleeve that you slather in water-based lube and slide over the shaft. Male masturbators are similar, but might have a vibrating, thrusting, or sucking motor. You’ve probably heard of Fleshlight, a brand famous for hyper realistic sleeves that look and feel as close to a vagina, butt, or mouth as you can get in a solo session.

No matter what, apply water-based lube before your play and clean your sex toys after every use. That way, your toy will last longer and feel great every time you use it. If you’re a beginner, check out our male sex toy guides for expert tips on how to use your toys.

Switch up your hand position

It’s pretty standard to wank one-handed, but using two hands can change up the experience. Try interlocking your fingers and cupping both hands around your penis. Your interlocked fingers will create pleasing ridges to run up and down the underside of your penis.

On the Lovehoney Forum, Iwill recommends lubing up your hands and clasping them together. “Rest [your hands] on an appropriate heigh piece of furniture,” they explain. Then: “Thrust into clasped hands where pinkies meet.” You can close your eyes and imagine whatever scenario you like here.

You can also encircle the head of your penis with one hand and stroke or massage in circles. Or press your fingers together at the top of your shaft, so the pad of your index finger and middle finger are pressed to your frenulum (banjo string) and your thumb is on the head. Try stroking, massaging, or tapping the sensitive skin right below the frenulum.

Switch up your leg position

When you change positions, you activate different muscles and introduce a little novelty into your wank sesh. This can vary the sensation while making it easier to fantasise about different scenarios. Here are some ideas:

• Standing up
• Leaning against a wall
• Sitting on a chair
• Kneeling on all fours
• One foot on the side of the bath
• Lying on your back with knees bent towards your armpits

“So often we straighten our legs right out and tense them, but as you’re getting close to climax open your hips up wide pulling your knees up and outwards,” suggests Rusty89 on the Forum. “For whatever reason, with a bit more motion in your hips I find an orgasm to be a bit more intense in all senses, and get much closer to that ‘full body’ experience.”

Try anal play

No matter your gender or sexuality, anal masturbation might be worth exploring. Your butt is packed with nerve endings, making it a sensitive area that may respond well to touch. For a lot of people, the anus is just another erogenous zone that offers a tonne of pleasure.

Try circling a clean, lubed finger around the rim of your anus while you masturbate your penis. You can also massage the perineum (the soft skin between your anus and your balls) or press a bullet vibe to this spot. That’s one way to stimulate your prostate without actually penetrating the anus – perfect for first-timers.

Curious about prostate play? Keep reading, you’ll find more tips below.

Go hands-free

Without the familiar sensation of your own hand, masturbation can feel fresh and even more intense. Plus, you don’t need to worry about your arms tiring before you reach climax.

You could wedge a masturbator toy between the sofa cushions, letting you thrust with your hips instead of straining your arms (a toy with strong suction or thrusting will do most of the work for you). Users on the Lovehoney Forum also recommend teasing a vibrator along the underside of the penis – or slipping a small bullet vibe inside your stroker.

A lot of anal toys offer hands-free pleasure too: “I learned how to have prostate orgasms and come hands free when I bought my first prostate massager years ago,” says JMS55 on the Forum. You can (with loads of lube) slide a butt plug or prostate massager into your anus and let the vibrations take care of you.

People who are born with a penis have a gland called a prostate, which sits just below the bladder as part of the reproductive system. Stimulating this gland via the anus can be intensely pleasurable, which is why a lot of men have an erogenous zone known as the ‘male G-spot’ or ‘P-spot’. You can find the male G-spot by inserting a finger inside the anus.

Here’s how to do it safely:

1. Trim your fingernails to avoid tears
2. Wash your hands thoroughly
3. Apply plenty of lube to your finger and the rim of your anus
4. Try to relax your glutes (butt) and pelvic floor (lower belly) muscles – penetration is more difficult when you’re tense
5. Stroke the rim of your anus – you can also masturbate your penis to help relax
6. Gradually slide your finger no more than two inches inside your butt
7. Feel for a soft, round area about the size of a walnut
8. Gently press towards your belly or genitals and massage in slow circles
9. If you feel the need to pee – it will pass!

Prostate orgasms can be elusive, so don’t worry if you don’t get it first time. Just focus on the pleasurable sensations and try again another day if you feel comfortable. You might find it easier to stimulate the area using a prostate masssager. These toys are usually made from soft silicone with a bulbous head which transmits vibrations really well over a larger surface area. This makes it way easier to target the prostate – plus it’s more comfortable than reaching around your backside!