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How to Have a Prostate Orgasm
Medically reviewed by Dr Ben Davis on 16 Apr 2026
In this guide: What is a prostate orgasm? | Where is the prostate? | How to have a prostate orgasm | Sex positions to try | Tips if you’re struggling
If you’ve read about prostate play online, you might have heard some intriguing accounts of how intense and long-lasting these orgasms can be. That may be true for some, but the experience is different for everyone – and the prostate is really only one factor when it comes to the pleasure potential of anal sex.
That said, “getting to know the anatomy of your anus and prostate can really improve your experience of sex and pleasure,” says Dr Ben Davis, Men's Health GP and COSRT-registered sex therapist. That’s why it’s worth exploring anal play without worrying too much about whether you’ll have a prostate orgasm.
With all that in mind, this guide will talk you through what we know about prostate orgasms and how to find your P-spot. You’ll get tips on how to have a prostate orgasm (or a good time trying) and incorporate prostate play into your sex life.
Only got time for a quickie?
The prostate is a walnut-sized gland just inside the anus. Think of it as a hidden sexual pleasure hotspot, waiting to be discovered and explored.
It’s packed with nerve endings. For many people, stimulating the prostate during anal play delivers pleasure that spreads beyond the penis and can feel more “full body” than the typical penile orgasm.
You can start with fingers, toys, or partnered play. Solo anal masturbation sessions are great for getting to know your P-spot. When you’re ready, a partner can help you find new ways to hit the sweet spot.
Relaxation and lube are essential. The anus doesn’t self-lubricate and can tense up when you’re nervous. Slathering on anal lubricant, teasing the rim, massaging the perineum, or stroking your penis first – it all helps anal play feel smooth, comfortable, and deliciously pleasurable.
Take your time. Prostate orgasms don’t always happen right away, but patience pays off – once you hit the sweet spot, the sensations can be mind-blowing. Even without an orgasm, massaging this erogenous zone is intensely pleasurable in a unique way.
A prostate orgasm is a climax reached by stimulating the prostate gland – either through anal penetration or by massaging the perineum (gooch) externally.
“For many people, stimulating the prostate during anal play produces sensations that feel more full-body than a typical penile orgasm,” says Dr Ben Davis, who specialises in men's sexual health. That diffused feeling of pleasure he describes is why the prostate is sometimes called the male G-spot or P-spot. “Though experiences vary widely, and it often takes time and practice to get there,” Ben adds.
Sometimes, prostate massage can release prostatic fluid, which exits through the urethra like semen. But prostate-induced orgasms don’t always lead to ejaculation (this is known as a ‘dry’ orgasm).
Unfortunately, there's very little research on the prostate as an organ for sexual pleasure. “Science on the prostate and pleasure is even further behind than understanding the clitoris,” says Ben. That doesn’t mean you can’t explore it, when you know how to do it safely. It’s a pleasure centre that, once discovered, can genuinely deepen your experience of sex.
Feel deep waves of pleasure through your P-spot
You can stimulate the prostate using fingers, prostate massager toys, or through penetrative sex. You can combine prostate massage with masturbating your penis for heightened pleasure – or focus purely on internal stimulation. (Get more tips on all of that below.)
You might experience a prostate orgasm in minutes the first time you try. But most people find it takes a few sessions of exploration to get used to the feeling. Go slow, stay calm, and let things build naturally – we'll give you more tips for prostate pleasure below.
You might prefer to explore solo first to get comfortable with the sensations of prostate play and learn what feels good. But you can also try prostate massage with a partner for a seriously steamy way to feel intimate and connected. Both are great options – your call!
Get clean first
Anal play can be intensely pleasurable, but it can also cause tiny tears and bleeding in the rectum, which puts you at a slightly increased risk of infections. That’s why it’s important to wash your hands, anal toys, and anal area before you play. Feeling clean will also help you relax and enjoy the moment.
You might be put off by the idea of encountering a bit of poo, but if you’ve been to the toilet an hour before play, there’s no need to worry. And douching is optional – not essential. (If you would like to, we’ve got a handy guide on how to use an anal douche; check it out, then head back here!)
Get aroused
For many, prostate play is a totally new sensation. Your butt might tense up when you’re nervous, which makes anal play much less pleasurable.
But the more turned on you are, the more your muscles relax – which makes it easier to slide inside the anus without discomfort. Whether you’re flying solo or with a partner, think: foreplay. Stroke your penis, tease the perineum (that sensitive spot between your balls and bum), or circle the rim of your anus.
Some people like edging themselves towards orgasm solely with prostate massage – and only touching their penis when they’re ready for the big finale. Save this technique for when you’re more experienced with anal play. Until then, get more tips for jacking off in our guide on how to masturbate for men.
Never skip lube
For short sessions which only involve a finger, any lube will do. But as you get more confident with toys or penetrative sex, go for anal lube as it’ll be thicker and longer lasting. Some people prefer silicone lube for anal play, but bear in mind you should stick to water-based lube if you’re using sex toys. Silicone lube can degrade the materials of your toys, making them unsafe (and unsexy) to use.
Relax your anal sphincter
You’ll need time to get used to penetration, so start small – with a single finger or slim beginner’s toy – and build up at your own pace.
“The first thing to do is get to know your anal sphincter (the muscles around your butt hole), which often tightens initially,” says Dr Ben Davis. “Usually, if you breathe and stay with it, your muscles relax within 30 seconds to a minute, so don't panic if it feels tight at first.”
If penetration feels difficult, you might be too tense. With your finger, try pressing on each side inside the anal sphincter at 12, 3, 6, and 9 o’clock. Each time you press, hold for 10 seconds whilst breathing deeply. This technique can help relax the sphincter so you can reach your prostate more comfortably.
Massage your prostate with a finger
Coat your forefinger with anal lube and rub the rim of your anus. Apply more lube to the finger insert it carefully inside. To get the angle right, imagine your fingertip is pointing through your body towards your belly button. Curl your finger in a beckoning motion – and when you feel a firm, rounded mound, you’re there!
Use the flat of your fingertip to apply gentle pressure; stroking or rubbing in tiny circles can build a new, powerful kind of arousal. “You should never feel any pain,” says Annabelle. “If it does feel a little uncomfortable, just slow it down or stop and come back to it when you feel ready.”
Consider a prostate massager
“If you’re trying to find your own P-spot, you might find it easier to use a specially shaped prostate massager,” says Annabelle Knight, sex and relationships expert at Lovehoney. “These handy toys are curved to put pressure on the front wall of the anus.”
Prostate massagers have broad stimulation heads which can stimulate a larger surface area, making it easier to hit just the right spot. They also often vibrate and work hands-free, which is much easier than reaching around and maintaining a good rhythm with a finger.
The Lovehoney High Roller is slightly more affordable than premium options like We-Vibe or Arcwave, but it’s still made from high quality, body safe silicone. Slather it with lube and slowly insert the toy before you turn it on.
Once you feel comfortable, you can gradually introduce vibrations using the remote control. Check out our article on how to use a prostate massager for more tips.
Try different sensations
Once you’ve found your prostate and got comfortable with the sensation, you can start exploring more advanced techniques and intriguing sensations. Here’s some inspiration:
- Tapping. Gently tap your P-spot following a steady rhythm (time it to music for a more immersive experience).
- Steady pressure. Hold a firm, steady pressure, or gradually increase pressure from light to firm.
- Rocking. Rather than sliding a finger, toy, or penis in and out of your behind, try rocking against it to maintain continuous pressure on your P-spot.
- Steel or glass toys. Silicone toys are soft and flexible, which makes them great for beginners. Stainless steel or borosilicate glass toys like the njoy Pure Wand offer a pleasurable weight and firmness that some people love.
- Temperature play. Chill or gently warm your toy in a bowl of water and see if you like the thrill of an cool toy vs the lifelike sensation of a warm one – just make sure your toy is made from a durable, high quality material like silicone, stainless steel, or glass and always test the temperature on your hand first.
Tidy up after
When the fun’s over, clean your toys as soon as possible to prevent bacteria from harbouring there. (Don’t forget to wash your hands too!) Most toys can be washed with warm water and mild, unscented soap or a toy-safe cleaner, but it is recommended to sterilize anal toys once in a while too. Pop your toys in separate bags or containers so they’re fresh, clean, and ready for round two.
Wanna explore prostate play through partnered sex? Whether you’re playing with someone who has a penis or not, there are plenty of ways to play. Whether with fingers, toys, or strap-ons, these anal penetration positions are great for P-spot pleasure.
Cowboy (or Reverse Cowboy)
“Most people find being on top of their partner in Cowboy a good place to start,” says Dr Ben Davis. “Then they're in control of depth and speed of penetration.” Straddle your partner, sliding their penis or strap-on into your butt. You can experiment with kneeling or squatting to get the leverage you need.
“You can then also play with different angles to hit the prostate more and see what's more pleasurable,” Ben continues. Try facing away from your partner (Reverse Cowboy – or Cowpoke if you’re not a boy!) to see whether it gives you a better angle.
Kneeling Oral
“Insert a well-lubricated finger into the anus and rub or stroke the area during oral sex,” says Annabelle. “The combination of oral and anal should be enough to tip you over the edge, so it's wise to take it slowly!”
Kneeling with legs apart while receiving oral sex creates perfect access for a finger or toy. The giver can focus on the prostate while their mouth and tongue tease the penis, making for a double whammy of pleasure. If you start feeling overwhelmed, slow down for a while before building the intensity back up again.
Kneeling Spoon
This penetrative position involves the receiver kneeling with their knees wide apart, while the giver enters from behind; think of it as an upright spooning position.
The angle is perfect for prostate stimulation, while the receiver is free to stroke their penis or use a masturbator sleeve. This move feels steamily intimate, makes entry straightforward for first-timers – and allows for smooth, sustained thrusting.
Missionary
For anal beginners, Missionary can feel safest; the receiver lies on their back while the giver penetrates from above. Because you’re face to face, it’s easy to communicate what feels good and adapt what you’re doing to suit each other. For extra intensity, slip a pillow under the receiver’s hips to raise the angle and increase pressure on the prostate.
Not everyone hits the P-spot jackpot on the first try – and that’s perfectly normal. It can take time to relax, explore, and learn what works for your body. It’s worth experimenting with your finger before investing in any sex toys, but remember that prostate massagers are designed to target your P-spot, so it might be easier to climax that way. All you need to do is have fun and take breaks when your body needs it. Just remember: prostate play isn’t only about the orgasm – it’s about unlocking brand-new sensations you didn’t even know you could feel.
