How to Find Your Male G-Spot (a.k.a. Prostate)

In this guide: What is the male G-spot? | How to find it | What does it feel like? | What toys can I use? | Tips for first timers

If you’ve tried prostate play and you’re not sure what all the fuss is about, that’s OK. It might not be for you! That, or you haven’t quite found the right spot yet. Prostate pleasure can feel really good but it isn’t for everyone, and it takes some time to get used to.

If we can help just one person sink into a more satisfying orgasm every now and then, we’ve done our job. So, as part of our saucy public service, here's our guide to finding the male G-spot. You’ll learn how to find the prostate and tease it with your fingers, which toys work best, and how to bring P-spot play into your relationship.

Only got time for a quickie?

If you’re short on time, bookmark this article to read in full later. The more you know, the closer you’ll be to safe, pleasurable anal play! For now, here’s what you need to know in a nutshell:

• The ‘male G-spot' is another name for the prostate. This walnut sized gland can be found underneath the bladder in people with male reproductive organs.

• It’s nicknamed the ‘P-spot’ or ‘male G-spot' because it’s full of nerve endings. Stimulating this spot can feel intensely pleasurable and may even result in a prostate orgasm (which can feel a bit different from your regular penile orgasm).

• You can feel the prostate by inserting a finger about two inches inside your anus. Through the wall of your rectum, the P-spot feels like a small, firm mound.

• Massage your fingers in a “come here” or circular motion. You might not climax the first time you explore prostate play, but don’t put pressure on yourself! Just enjoy the sensation.

• What do prostate orgasms feel like? You might hear them described as deeper and more intense than penile ejaculations – butt it’s different for everyone.

• Anal sex toys can make it even easier to find. Choose a high quality toy with a flared base and bulbous tip – and always use water-based lube for smooth entry.

The male G-spot is just a sexy nickname for the prostate: a little walnut-sized gland which sits tucked away inside the rectum and wrapped around the urethra. The main purpose of the prostate is to produce a nutrient-rich fluid that's part of semen.

But the prostate can also be an erogenous zone, meaning it feels good to stimulate it during sex or masturbation. It’s known as the P-spot – the male equivalent of the female G-spot – because some people find it intensely pleasurable to have this area massaged. We’ll get into how it feels later. First, let’s talk about how to find it.

Decide if you want to explore solo first

Exploring P-spot play with a partner can be fun, but you might find it easier solo. “I have experienced mid blowing a-gasms but can never predict when they’ll happen,” says Georgio on the Lovehoney Forum. “My way is total undisturbed privacy. Totally relax, focus on down there. I leave my cock alone as it distracts from the action.”

Taking time to figure out how to have a prostate orgasm on your own means you can set the pace, and find out what feels amazing to you. That's knowledge that you can bring into partnered play later, if you like.

Choose a comfortable position

Feeling relaxed makes anal masturbation more comfortable, as it’ll be easier to penetrate if you’re not all tensed up. “When your pelvic floor muscles are tight, your anus is tight and putting something inside it can cause more friction and pain,” says Dr. Ben Davis.

Try lying on your back with knees bent and legs slightly apart – this gives you a direct angle without straining. Otherwise, lying on your front with a pillow under your hips might help relax your butt and thighs. If the angle doesn’t feel right, try reaching between your legs, rather than around your bum and back.

Insert a clean, lubed finger

“To find the P-spot, insert a well-lubricated index finger into the anus,” says Annabelle Knight, our resident sex and relationships expert. It’s best to use a finger as a beginner, as you’ll actually be able to feel the difference in texture when touching the P-spot. Plus, fingers are small, unintimidating, and easy to remove if you need a break.

Make sure your hands are clean (and nails trimmed!) to avoid introducing bacteria to your delicate anal area.

Lube is essential because it’ll help your finger glide in smoothly. With all that extra slipperiness, you’re less likely to feel uncomfortable friction or get small tears in the anus (which can get infected).

Feel for a small, round mound

“If you’re lying on your back, feel towards your belly button through the wall of your rectum,” says Dr. Ben Davis. “If you feel forward, you should be able to feel a firm, round shape, like a walnut or small peach. It often has a midline groove or line which you can feel too.”

You’ll usually only need to go around two to three inches in to feel it. It’s slightly firmer that the surrounding tissue and the texture might feel ridged. Feel around for the spot, taking your time and moving slowly. If you feel any pain, just stop and slowly remove your finger.

“If you notice it’s very irregular, hard, or painful when you press, it might be worth checking with your doctor,” says Ben. “These can all be a sign of infection, or even cancer which is very common in older men.” It’s normal if your prostate enlarges gradually with age, especially after the age of 50.

Stroke the fingers in a “come here” motion

Annabelle recommends curving your finger in a “come here” motion, as if you’re beckoning towards your belly button. You can also try light tapping with your fingertip or slow, circular massaging. Small, repetitive movements like this can build pleasure slowly.

Otherwise, experiment with applying steady pressure on your P-spot while your other hand is busy with your penis, balls, or nipples. The only goal is to enjoy the sensations you feel.

Relax and remember to breathe!

Keeping exploring for as long as feels good. You might feel the urge to pee, but go with it. If you’ve already emptied your bladder before you play, it’s unlikely you’ll actually wet yourself!

“It’s one that builds up, you have to get past the feeling that you want to pee, you will fail more times before you achieve it, but once you know how to let go, wow, it’s amazing,” explains forum user, ToysRusDevon.

If you start feeling tense or uncomfortable, try breathing in deeply and letting go with a long, slow steady breath.

“The prostate responds terrifically well to stimulation and can lead to intense orgasms,” says Annabelle.

It’s surrounded by a dense network of nerves connected to the penis, urethra, and pelvic floor. When stimulated, these nerves send pleasure signals to the brain.

P-spot orgasms can be slower to build, which can make them feel more intense for some. On the Forum, Georgio says, “For me it’s the best and the feeling lasts for ages, up and down in waves.” But everyone is different. You might find that focusing too much on the prostate takes you out of the moment.

What if I can’t find my prostate?

If you’re having trouble finding and pleasuring the prostate, take the pressure off. Focus on enjoying anal pleasure rather than chasing a specific kind of orgasm. The point is to feel good and explore your body!

You can also try prostate toys, which are typically curved with a broad stimulation head. They’re designed to press against the prostate and tease it with vibrations, so you’re more likely get that stimulation you’re looking for.

Otherwise, you can try external stimulation. Reach down past your penis and balls; right between your scrotum and anus, you’ll find a small patch of soft, sensitive skin called the perineum. Massage the perineum or press a small vibrator against it to stimulate the prostate indirectly – no anal penetration necessary.

Whenever you pick a toy that’s going inside you, make sure it has a flared base (otherwise it could get lost, which means a very awkward A&E trip for you).

Look out for options with bulbous stimulation heads and hands-free designs; they can easily keep pressure on the prostate while you pleasure yourself or a partner. High quality materials like silicone, borosilicate glass, and stainless steel will be much easier to sanitize, which is especially important after anal play.

Butt plug

A butt plug is a small anal toy designed to sit snugly in place, pressing gently on the front wall of the anus – where the prostate sits. For beginners, the Lovehoney Ignite Butt Plug is a great pick: it’s smooth and simple to insert thanks to a tapered head and slim neck, and it keeps things simple with no complicated features or buttons to fuss over – just easy, fuss-free exploration.

Prostate massager

A prostate massager is designed to apply steady, targeted pressure to the P-spot, which can deliver an even more focused sensation than just using your fingers. They usually have a bulbous tip, and this broad surface area makes it easy to please the right spot.

We’d recommend the Arcwave Perk, which is made with premium silicone and has a smooth and luxurious feel. It’s thoughtfully curved to apply pressure to the prostate and has a remote – so you can dial up the vibrations without reaching around to fiddle with tiny buttons between your cheeks.

Need some prostate-teasing tips? Check out our guide on how to use a prostate massager.

Dildo

There is, quite literally, a dildo for everyone. Some have raised veins and soft, flexible testicles for a deliciously real experience, while others are more fantasy-inspired to get your imagination going. For prostate play, pick a dildo that has a slightly bulbous head (and a flared base, always).

Bigger isn’t necessarily better – remember the prostate is only two or three inches inside you! For example, the ROMP Piccolo is a neat five inches in length, so don’t have to insert the whole toy to please your P-spot. The suction cup base means you can stick your toy to a smooth surface or slip it into a harness for a spot of pegging.

Prostate stimulation could open you up to a whole new level of pleasure. But, like a lot of things, a little patience and prep will help you make the most of the experience. Keep these tips in mind whenever you explore anal play:

• Lube is essential. The anus doesn’t self-lubricate, so being generous with lubricant is a must. A good water-based or hybrid lube keeps everything slippery and sensual. (Wondering about the best lube for anal play? We’ve got a guide for that.)

• Start small with a finger or beginner-friendly toys. Going in gently helps you ease into the new sensations without feeling overwhelmed. Smaller toys can also give you more control over depth and pressure.

• Take it slow. “For many, prostate play is a totally new sensation,” says Annabelle. “So, remember to take it slow and make sure you’re relaxed.” When you rush or feel nervous, the body’s natural response is to tighten up – which can make stimulation feel less comfortable and harder to enjoy. Slowing down helps the muscles soften – making everything feel smoother and more pleasurable.

• Only douche if you want to. Washing your anal area is essential, but cleaning inside your anus is a personal choice. If it helps you feel more confident, go for it – but don’t feel any pressure and make sure you know how to douche safely.

• Masturbating at the same time can feel even better. Many of our Forum users recommend not touching your penis, as P-spot orgasms are completely different to penile ones. That said, you can also try “blended” pleasure by bringing anal play into your usual masturbation routine.

• Forget what you’ve seen in porn. Sometimes our expectations can get in the way of simply experiencing pleasure. Prostate orgasms aren’t always “explosive” in the way you might have seen in porn. It can feel more like waves that radiate or ebb and flow throughout your body.

• Always wash your sex toys. A thorough clean after every use keeps things hygienic and helps protect you from infections. It’ll also keep your toys in top condition for longer.

• If you're exploring with a partner, talk about it before and after. Annabelle explains: “Aftercare is a really important part of a happy and healthy sex life… It’s your chance to talk about what felt good, what didn’t, and what you’d like to explore next.” Discussing sex with your partner keeps your expectations aligned. It’s also great for bonding, physically and emotionally.