How to Use a Dildo: Your Beginner’s Guide

In this guide: Why use a dildo? | How to use it | Positions to try | How to clean it | What's the best dildo?

Whether you saw your first dildo as a teenager, giggling and giddy with your best mates and gobsmacked by all the options, or later on, carefully chosen as saucy surprise for your lover – we've all got one thing in common... That heady, nervous excitement that builds as you wonder how you could experiment with your new toy, and how good it’ll feel.

If you’ve landed on this article because you’re ready for your first dildo, then firstly: congratulations! As rites of passage go, this is one of the best out there. And even if you’re a more experienced player, read on...

We’ve packed this guide with tips on targeting your erogenous zones, choosing a shape that feels incredible to you, and the best way to use a dildo for breathtaking pleasure.

Only got time for a quickie?

Check out your express guide to dildo mastery right here – or jump to whatever section tickles your fancy for more in-depth advice:

  • Prep like a pro: Always add lube when using dildos and take time to turn yourself on before you get started with penetration

  • Take it steady: No need to rush! Explore different rhythms and depth

  • Switch up your positions: Find angles that feel amazing to you and that give you proper control over the depth and angle of penetration

  • Get experimental: Try temperature play and doubling up with other toys for more exciting sensations

  • Stay safe: Always clean your dildo after each session, and always use flared-base toys for anal penetration


Why use a dildo?


Most dildos are pretty low-tech, but they’re very versatile. These phallic beauties are designed to simulate penetration and can feel incredible vaginally, anally, or even externally (think grinding on a dildo's raised veins, for example).

They’re ideal for all genders and orientations, and are just as satisfying to use as a solo masturbation toy as they are for spicing things up with a partner. Curious? One of you can wield the dildo or simply watch while the other masturbates with it. Or pop your dildo into a strap-on harness and try a spot of pegging.

Plus: unlike vibrators, dildos let you control the speed and type of stimulation. Take things smooth and slow, experiment with different rhythms and techniques, or vary the depth and angle to discover what feels best.


Dildos for every mood


How to use a dildo


With proper prep, you’re more likely to get the most out of your toy and keep your body safe. Here's how to use your dildo – whether you have a vulva, want to try anal play, or you're sharing the fun with a partner.

How to prepare for dildo play

  • Give your toy a thorough clean with warm water and antibacterial sex toy cleaner – and wash your hands while you’re at it.

  • Get properly aroused with a little foreplay – even if you’re playing alone! – through self-touch, other toys, or letting your mind wander to naughty places. Flicking through some steamy fiction can help to get you in the mood.

  • Slather on the lube – “No matter what you’re putting inside you, make sure it’s well-lubricated,” says sexpert, Annabelle Knight. Use more than you think you need and don’t be afraid to reapply. Even if you’ve got a vulva, your natural wetness can dry up after a few minutes. Plus, a little extra slickness makes insertion feel easy and sensual.

  • Only douche if you want to – it helps some people feel cleaner and more ready for anal play, but it’s totally up to you. If you’ve washed your butt with soap and water, you’re already clean enough.

  • Consider a condom. Annabelle says, “Life hack for sex toys: rubber up!”. Use a condom if your toys are made from lower-quality materials, or if you want to be able to use it both anally and vaginally.

Lube noob? Check out our Beginner’s Guide to Lube for tips on choosing and using lube with your lovers and your toys.

How to use a dildo for vaginal play

If you’ve got a vagina, consider yourself lucky – you get to experience a full range of sensations with your dildo. Ready to explore? Try this:

Hunt for your G-spot: Once your dildo’s inserted, angle the tip towards your belly button. This will help you target that patch of textured tissue about 2-3 inches inside your vagina; it's about the size of a ten-pence piece. Try massaging it using a ‘come hither’ motion or steady pressure, rather than frantic thrusting – slow and steady can feel amazing when you’re getting warmed up.

Don't neglect your clit: The external part of your clitoris wants in on the action too! Use your free hand, grab a bullet vibrator, or position yourself so the dildo's base rubs against your clit during penetration. Multi-tasking at its finest.

Go for blended bliss: Combine vaginal penetration with anal play using a small butt plug, or tease your nipples with a vibrator while enjoying internal sensations. This triple-stimulation combo can lead to breathtaking blended orgasms.

Mix up your rhythm: Different speeds and depths create different sensations. Slow, deep strokes feel worlds apart from quick, shallow movements. Try pulsing, twisting, or rocking motions too. When it comes to finding the best way to use a dildo, it’s all about figuring out what feels incredible to you.

How to use a dildo for anal play

Anal play requires a bit more TLC, but offers a whole lot of sensual satisfaction for all genders:

Start small and work up: Begin with some foreplay, then use a well-lubed finger or small toy before moving up to larger dildos. Your anal muscles need time to relax and get with the programme! Rushing yourself to play with large toys could cause tearing – or just put you off anal play altogether.

Lube, lube, and more lube: The rectum doesn't self-lubricate, so coat both your anus and toy generously. Keep reapplying throughout your session if you need to; water-based is best, because it’s compatible with all toys. Go for a specialist anal lube, too; it adds an extra cushion-y feeling that helps you feel more comfortable and supported when you play in this particularly sensitive area.

Flared bases are non-negotiable: Toys without flared bases can disappear inside you, leading to rather mortifying and potentially dangerous trips to A&E. Trust us on this one…

Take your time: Go slowly when inserting and removing your toy. Sudden movements can cause discomfort or injury, and that's not the kind of intensity we're after!

P-spot magic: For those blessed with a male prostate. Once your dildo’s inserted try angling your dildo towards your belly button to target this extra-sensitive walnut-sized gland. When you find it, you'll know – the sensations are unmistakably good!

How to use a dildo with your partner

Annabelle says, “I love toys like dildos because they leave both your hands free” – so you can fondle each other or yourself while you ride. Also, may we recommend a playful twist on voyeurism: one partner uses their dildo while the other watches, building steamy sexual tension.

If you love the intense stimulation that vibrators offer, add an extra buzz by slipping a bullet vibe into a hollow dildo or using a vibrating cock ring. Giving oral sex while using a dildo on your lover can feel incredible too; tease your lover’s balls or clitoris with your tongue while you slide a dildo in and out. It’s perfect for couples who want to keep things intimate even if they’re tired or have trouble maintaining an erection.

If you’re keen to try pegging: start slow, use plenty of anal lube, and choose a dildo with a flared base (remember: ‘no flared base, gone without a trace’... and no one wants that!). Keep talking to each other while you play, choose positions where the receiver is relaxed as this will make penetration easier.

Whatever you try, the key is to experiment, have fun, and enjoy turning each other on (and getting each other off!).


Positions to try with your toy


Penetration feels ten times better when you’re relaxed and comfortable. So, have a play around with different positions to find what works for your body:

Lying back: The classic Missionary-inspired position, with knees drawn up, gives you easy access and total control over depth and angle. Pop a pillow under your hips for even better positioning.


A naked illustrated person on their hands and knees with the Lovehoney Pleasure Trip suction-cup dildo on the wall behind them.

On all fours: This Doggy-style approach allows for deeper penetration and is perfect for targeting your G-spot or P-spot. Use one hand to control your dildo whilst supporting yourself with the other – or attach a suction-cup dildo to a tiled wall, and back up onto it.

Squatting: Whether you're lowering yourself onto a suction-cup dildo or holding one yourself, squatting lets gravity help with penetration. Start slowly though – this position can allow for very deep insertion, so pace yourself.


How to clean up after dildo play


Proper hygiene keeps you healthy and your toys in tip-top condition:

  • Clean right after use with warm water and antibacterial toy cleaner – don't leave it til tomorrow!
  • Pay special attention to textured areas, where sneaky bacteria might try to hide – sex toy wipes can help get into the nooks and crannies
  • Dry thoroughly before storing in a clean, dry place away from other toys – when silicone toys rub together, it can cause damage to the material
  • Never go from anal to vaginal contact without thorough cleaning in between – bacteria loves to travel and might cause an irritation or infection

For the full lowdown on toy maintenance, check out our guide on how to clean sex toys.


6 best dildos – rated by our testers


Here are six of our customers’ favourite dildos. For this list, we picked the toys that rated very highly with our testers (four stars or more) – and made sure you got a good range of different styles too!


Best realistic dildo

Lifelike Lover Classic Realistic Dildo 6 Inch
(1,387)
£29.99

This silicone stunner offers all the visual and tactile appeal of the real thing – complete with defined head, shaft veins, realistic testicles, and different skin tones. Its flexible yet firm shaft moves naturally with your body, while the powerful suction cup base makes hands-free play an absolute dream.

What customers say: "I love the texture of it and it sticks to most surfaces: bathroom tiles, wooden chairs and hardwood floors, which is perfect for solo hands-free fun. I've had so many amazing orgasms with this toy I never knew I could cum so hard."

Shop here

Best anal dildo for beginners

Lovehoney Slimline Silicone Suction Cup Dildo 5 Inch
(167)
£14.99

Specifically designed for comfortable anal exploration, this slender member offers just the right amount of stretch without overwhelming first-timers. Its smooth silicone shape and gently tapered tip make insertion comfortable, and the flared base keeps anal play safe.

What customers say: "One of the best dildos I've ever owned! The feeling of the material is so soft and smooth, incredible quality. The perfect size for people new to penetration of any hole, perfect for beginner anal play especially, the thickness and length is just right."

Shop here

Best metal dildo

njoy Pure Wand Stainless Steel Dildo
(366)
£149.99

A work of art that just so happens to deliver incredible sensations, too. Its weighty design provides firm pressure that's perfect for G-spot and P-spot stimulation – plus, the different-sized ends offer satisfying variety in one elegant package.

What customers say: "We were skeptical given the price of what appeared to be quite a heavy, non-electric toy, but were persuaded by other reviews. We now join the fan club! Brilliantly designed to hit the G-spot on! A revolution in vaginal orgasms and the best ever when combined with a clit bullet... do not miss out!"

Shop here

Best vibrating dildo

Lovehoney Triple Tickler Realistic Purple G-Spot Dildo Vibrator 5.5 inch
(835)
£24.99

Why choose between penetration and vibration when you can have both? This dual-motor wonder combines realistic textures with powerful vibrations, teamed with a clitoral stimulator for triple the pleasure. Don’t forget the lube as this one’s a little girthy.

What customers say: "A bit wider than what I was expecting, however once I was able to ease myself into it was absolutely amazing. Out of all of my toys this is the one I usually lean towards, even without making it vibrate it is just amazing, hits all the right spots so perfectly."

Shop here

Best glass dildo

Lovehoney Beaded Sensual Glass Dildo 7 Inch
(680)
£34.99

This elegant borosilicate glass beauty features graduated beads that create heightened stimulation as you move the toy in and out. It's perfect for temperature play, and is completely non-porous for effortless cleaning.

What customers say: "I have wanted a glass dildo for some time, so I ordered this one to try. It didn’t disappoint! The coldness of the glass is exquisite! The first time I used it I had an orgasm within minutes! It does feel a little heavy to hold, but I soon got used to it. I love, love, love this dildo. I use it for playing on my own and with my hubby, he loves using it on me too."

Shop here

Best double ended dildo

BASICS Realistic Double-Ended Dildo 18 inch
(35)
£34.99

Perfect for double-penetration fun, this flexible member offers realistic texture and as much length as you can handle. Its dual-ended design makes it ideal for adventurous couples who like to share their toys, too.

What customers say: "We couldn't wait to get to the bedroom and play, it was very sexy laying on the bed facing each other and riding the same toy. We both absolutely loved the feel, the size and the constant eye contact. This toy is so much fun, we both had the most intense orgasms and it has fondly become known as "the beast", we love it."

Shop here

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