How to Make the Missionary Position Feel Brand New

What is the Missionary sex position?

The Missionary position is simple, intimate and – if you’re doin’ it right – it can be one of the best sex positions out there!

Here’s how it works: one partner lies on their back, facing up, while the other partner lies on top, supporting their weight with their hands or elbows. You and your partner’s hips stack so that deep penetration is easy; winner!

In Missionary, you’re up close and face-to-face – so it’s perfect for holding intense eye contact, kissing your partner’s face, or trying some dirty talk (if that’s your thing). With the receiving partner’s hips tilted or supported by a pillow, penetration can feel deeper or more comfortable, too. If you’re looking for closeness and connection, this position is chef’s kiss.

Why people choose Missionary

Missionary has developed a rep for being ‘vanilla’, but that doesn’t mean boring! Our survey ranked it in the top three favourite sex positions (just after Doggy Style and Cowgirl), with 12% of people naming it their number one.

As our resident sex and relationships expert Annabelle Knight puts it: “Missionary is classic for a reason! You get intimacy, control, and comfort all in one. It’s a sensual, versatile and seriously underrated sex position.”

It feels familiar

It’s one of the most instantly recognisable positions: if there’s a sex scene on telly or in a film, chances are it’ll feature Missionary. That familiarity is part of this position’s charm: it’s intuitive, easy for beginners and feels natural to slip into without overthinking.

The flip side of that coin is that it sometimes gets labelled as ‘boring’, and the classic face-to-face setup can reinforce the old (and unhelpful) idea that the receiving partner should lie back and stay passive. In reality, there’s so much more to play with here – and we’ll give you some tips below.

There’s plenty of skin-to-skin contact

One of Missionary’s biggest perks is how close your bodies are. There’s full-body warmth, chest-to-chest contact, and all the steamy stimulation that comes from being completely wrapped up in each other. It can feel far more intimate than positions like Doggy Style because you’re so physically connected – able to kiss, stroke, and whisper every filthy (or romantic!) thing that comes to mind. For couples who crave closeness, Missionary delivers.

Looking into each other’s eyes feels intense

Eye contact can turn a familiar position into a ‘wow, this just got deep’ moment. Staring into your partner’s eyes not only boosts emotional intensity but also makes communication easier between you two. It’s perfect for beginners who are figuring out what feels good, or for couples who love a bit of dirty talk. It’s intimate, it’s hot, and it can make even a gentle rhythm feel charged.

The giver is in control

Missionary gives the penetrating partner control over the depth, pace and angle. Sometimes that dynamic is exactly what you want; one person taking the lead, while the other melts into the moment. The receiver can relax completely, surrender to the sensations, and enjoy the ride. Of course, you might not want this kind of power imbalance every time, but when you do want that dynamic? Missionary serves it up effortlessly; a built-in Dom/sub vibe that feels instinctive rather than staged.

How to make the Missionary position feel even better

Easy to do, easy to adapt: flex the Missionary sex position to switch things up, and to explore all the different ways this move can hit your hot spots.

Use lube

Even when you’re naturally wet, lube can make Missionary (or any position!) feel silky-smooth for longer. "A good quality, water-based lube is always handy in any position, as it reduces friction, which can increase pleasure," says Annabelle. The less friction there is between yours and your partner’s intimate skin, the less discomfort and disruption you’ll feel – making every thrust more intense and sensual.

Stimulate the clit

If the receiver has a vulva, stimulating it can be the difference between Missionary being ‘great’ and ‘incredible’. "Many women don’t reach orgasm through penetration alone,” says Annabelle. “Targeting the G-spot through penetration while also stimulating the clitoris is much more likely to take you all the way to climax.”

Try out the coital alignment technique (CAT): the giver shifts their body slightly upward, so their pelvis rubs against the clitoris during each thrust. You can also use a small, wearable vibrator like the We-Vibe Chorus Pro for consistent, hands-free pleasure. Teamed with penetration, this blend of stimulation can lead to even more intense orgasms.

Tease each other’s erogenous zones

Missionary gives you so much access – especially for the receiving partner, who has two free hands. Trace your fingertips down the partner-on-top’s ribs, cup their bum, tease their nipples, or run your fingernails lightly over their shoulders and back. The giver can use their free hand to stroke, massage, or run their fingers through their lover’s hair. Mutual teasing keeps the whole body involved, and means the receiver feels just as involved as the giver.

Talk to each other

All that eye contact can make dirty talk feel extra charged. You can whisper, moan, or describe exactly what you want your lover to do next as you watch them react. If naughty talk isn’t your vibe, even simple things like saying, “that feels amazing” or soft moans of encouragement can make everything feel hotter.

Hold hands

Sometimes the simplest stuff is the most effective, so don’t underestimate the power of hand-holding during sex. It can feel romantic – sweet, grounding, and intimate. Or, if you’re feeling cheeky, you can make it a little kinkier by pinning your partner’s hands above their head. Same gesture, very different energy.

Try power play

Missionary can be as sweet or as filthy as you’re both feeling in the moment! Wrist or ankle restraints can shift the dynamic, giving the partner-on-top a little more authority and the receiver a sense of surrender. Add a blindfold to heighten your sensitivity or try nipple clamps for a touch of extra stimulation. (These can be much more beginner-friendly than you might think; check out our guide on nipple play for newbie tips!)

Slow it right down

…or speed it up, if you’re usually the slow-and-steamy type. Playing with tempo is a simple way to dial up the intensity. Here’s a trick for intentionally slowing your pace: you or your partner slides inside, then you both hold completely still for a few breaths while you look into each other’s eyes. Pauses like this build anticipation and help you to feel each other deeply.

Consider a sex wedge

A sex wedge, or sex pillow, can be a total game-changer. Raising the receiver’s hips shifts the angle, which can make penetration feel deeper and reduce the strain on lower backs. Unlike pillows, a good-quality wedge offers firm, comfortable support even through thrusting, so it can be well worth stashing one under your bed for when the moment strikes.

Which sex toys work best with Missionary?

When your bodies are this close, small and/or wearable toys are the best choice; they can fit neatly between you while being easy to keep in place without disrupting the rhythm.

These little gems can help you stimulate even more nerve endings for extra pleasure. Plus: all three are made from super-smooth, body-safe silicone, which is very easy to keep clean. Now you know you’re in for a good time!

• Cock ring (e.g. Fifty Shades of Grey Vibrating Love Ring): A vibrating cock ring can boost erection strength and stamina while adding clitoral stimulation with every thrust. Because it stays snug at the base of the penis, it won’t get in the way – just add an extra buzz right where it counts.

• Wearable vibrator (e.g. We-Vibe Chorus Pro): This toy is worn during penetration, hugging the receiver internally and externally at the same time, sending vibrations to your G-spot and clitoris. It turns Missionary into a dual-stimulation dream, sending pulsing pleasure to both partners without breaking that intimate, body-to-body closeness.

• Butt plug (e.g. Lovehoney Butt Tingler): A small butt plug can be enjoyed by either partner – worn by the receiver, it adds a satisfying feeling of double-penetration fullness. Worn by the giver, it can create a subtly firmer sensation with every thrust. Perfect for adding an anal twist without needing to change positions.

How to adapt Missionary for different bodies

Missionary is the move that keeps on giving; it’s one of those sex positions that that you can switch up in all sorts of ways to suit you. We’ve picked out five variations, tailored to different needs and turn-ons.

Try this: The giving partner can slide a lubed-up penis between the receiver’s thighs and thrust to create friction. This form of non-penetrative thigh sex can be pleasurable for both partners, particularly if the penis teases the little spoon’s clitoris.

Try this: Put the receiver’s wrists and/or ankles in restraints to add a little kink. Try adjustable ones like these Bondage Boutique Handcuffs, which are made from soft, body-safe leather for a chafe-free, sensual scene.

Then, they can wrap their legs around their partner’s waist or rest their feet flat on the bed.

Try this: It might seem lavish to own a sex wedge, but it'll feel much more stable and comfortable than a pillow! A good quality position enhancer, like the Lovehoney Move, will have a high-quality, non-slip cover which you can remove for easy cleaning.

You get the intimacy of eye contact without feeling squashed or restricted, making it easier to relax into the moment.

Try this: With your bodies slightly further apart in this position, you can show off sexy lingerie – like this Plus Size Crotchless Bra Set, which is crotchless but still has a cotton gusset, so you can enjoy penetration while staying fresh and comfortable. Wearing lingerie makes even Missionary sex feel less routine, boosting your confidence while making your partner feel like they're being treated to something special.

Try this: Bring in a bullet vibrator for nipple play – either partner can hold the bullet and tease the other’s nipples with slow, tantalising circles or quick, pulsing vibrations. This builds arousal and adds an extra layer of intensity to your play.