Your Self-Pleasure Guide

Why is self-pleasure good for you?

Touching yourself feels good, but actually is good too. When you orgasm, it releases ‘feel-good’ hormones called dopamine and serotonin, as well as the ‘cuddle hormone’, oxytocin.

This delicious cocktail counteracts cortisol, also known as ‘the stress hormone’. That means masturbating can boost your mood, reduce stress, and help you get a better night’s sleep.

“Not only does [masturbating] feel good in the moment, the physiological changes of sexual arousal and orgasm are just plain good for your body, health, and overall wellbeing,” says sex therapist, Dr. Megan Fleming.

Self love can also boost your self-esteem and body-positivity by encouraging you to explore your body, prioritize your pleasure, and learn what you enjoy in the bedroom. For some, regular solo sex can boost their sex drive – but it’s also known to improve stamina! How good does that sound?

How to self-pleasure for ultimate satisfaction

There’s no right or wrong way to self-pleasure. It’s all about exploring your own body in your own time. Remember that there’s nothing shameful about masturbation, so there’s no need to feel guilty for enjoying it. It’s your body, you decide how you enjoy it.

For ultimate sexual happiness, check out our advice on self-pleasure:

The clitoris is all about pleasure, baby. The bit you can see, known as the glans clitoris, is the sensitive, button-like part of your vulva where your labia meet, above the vagina opening. The main body of the clitoris is internal, surrounding the inner walls of your vagina in an upside ‘V’ shape – a bit like a wishbone. This part isn't visible.

The clitoris can be stimulated with the fingers, a partner’s mouth and tongue, or clitoral suction toy. These seductive little toys work by sending pulsing air waves to the external clitoris, imitating oral sex.

For lots of people with vaginas, G-spot stimulation can feel intensely pleasurable. But what is the G-spot? It’s not a distinct part of your anatomy, so don’t worry too much if you can’t find it.

The G-spot is generally believed to be an area on the front inner wall of your vagina. You might be able to find it by inserting two clean fingers and stroking in a “come here” motion. If that feels awkward, grab a G-spot vibrator that’s designed to target the area with delicious rumbling sensations. Just be sure to use lube for silky smooth, sensual penetration.

The penis consists of the glans (head), frenulum, shaft and testicles. The head has approximately 4000 nerve endings and is the most sensitive part of the penis. Focus your attention here for fast, satisfying pleasure.

For slower, more intense orgasms, pay attention to other sensitive areas like the frenulum (the elastic piece of skin between the head and the shaft) and testicles, both of which can help trigger ejaculation when massaged – depending on the individual.

When you’re tired of using your hands, you can please your peen’s sensitive head and shaft by sliding it into a male masturbator. These toys use a variety of speeds and vibration patterns to mimic the sensations of oral sex – and some people even find them useful for stamina training.

The anus is chock full of nerve endings that can feel amazing when stimulated – no matter your gender or anatomy.

You might not associate anal play with female masturbation, but it actually activates the pudendal nerve, which is also activated when you stimulate the clitoris and vulva. That might explain why so many women love anal sex, despite not having a prostate.

If you have a penis, you need to know about your prostate! Also known as “the male G-spot”, the prostate can offer explosive orgasms which feel much more intense than stimulating the penis alone.

To get started, give your booty a clean with soap and warm water. Start off with fingers or small anal toys and lather them with lots of anal lube. If fingering yourself doesn’t do the trick, try a prostate massager, anatomically tailored to massage your P-spot how you like it.

Solo sex is a beautiful thing, but masturbating isn’t something you can only do alone. Whether you’re in a long-distance relationship or usually find penetrative sex painful, masturbating with your partner (even over the phone) can increase intimacy and satisfaction.

Mutual masturbation is an opportunity to introduce sex toys into your relationship and learn how your lover likes to be pleasured. It can also be really sexy to watch your partner touch themselves! Try experimenting with orgasm boosters to help intensify sensations or wear some sexy lingerie to boost your confidence and excite your lover.