Everything You Need to Know About Mutual Masturbation

by Lindsay

on 3 Mar 2022

If you've got a partner and a willing set of palms then do we have the guide for you.


We spend the entirety of our lives trying to enjoy ten minutes of 'alone time' in peace and quiet, and now we're being told to have a solo session in front of our significant other? Yes, that's right mutual masturbation is a thing too. It's pretty great!

What is Mutual Masturbation?

Mutual masturbation is simply when you and your partner masturbate simultaneously. That might sound a little wild, but what mutual masturbation does is allow you and your lover to share intimacies in new ways. If you've never tried it before, you're totally missing out.

You can do mutual masturbation side by side or long-distance (and don't worry, we've got position recommendations down below). It doesn't really matter where you are: the whole point of mutual masturbation is that all parties involved are masturbating at the same time.

What are the Benefits of Mutual Masturbation?

There is so much to be gained from mutual masturbation. One of the biggest benefits is that it's basically a masterclass on how your partner likes to be touched. You've both got front row seats to a demonstration on what gets your partner off!

From a more practical standpoint, mutual masturbation is great if you both suddenly find yourselves turned on but just don't have the time to have a full roll in the hay. Think of it as having a double-quickie.

Mutual masturbation is also perfect for the inner voyeur. If the idea of watching your partner pleasure themselves gets you hot under the collar, then this type of play has your name all over it.

Tips for Mutual Masturbation

Feeling enticed? Here are our top 5 toys to help you dive into thrilling mutual masturbation right away.

Best Toy for Masturbating Together from a Distance

We-Vibe Sync O Remote and App Controlled Rechargeable Couple's Vibrator
£119.99 £159.99 You save: £40.00 (25%)

Ready to connect on a deeper level? An innovative new twist on the classic We-Vibe couples vibrator, the Sync O is the perfect fit for pleasure-seekers looking to reach new heights of intimacy and arousal.

What customers say: "I was a little worried about purchasing this since I wasn't too sure how it would work but once you get used to it, it is a game changer! It is 100% worth the money."

Buy it here

Best Toy for Versatility

Lovehoney Power Pulse Pulsing Clitoral Vibrator

Treat yourself to pleasure on tap with this petite clitoral vibrator. Putting ecstasy at your fingertips, it offers a tantalizing tapping sensation that's sure to set your pulse racing.

What customers say: "This is a really different feel to a 'standard' clitoral vibrator as this one provides pulses rather than vibrations alone. It is amazing!"

Buy it here

Best Toy for Switching from Solo to Paired

Lovehoney mon ami Adjustable Personal Stroker

If vibrations aren't your speed, look instead to the Lovehoney mon ami Adjustable Personal Stroker for amplifying your mutual masturbation sessions. Thanks to its adjustable design, you can alter the grip to fit your desire, whether you're aiming for a powerful climax or keen to practise edging.

What customers say: "This adjustable stroker is one of the best I have experienced. Strokers / male masturbator toys are normally dominated by the usual big names, this stroker, with it's unique features, really stands out from the crowd. It is one I would highly recommend and will enjoy using again and again."

Buy it here

Best Toy for Exploring New Sensations

Lovehoney X ROMP Switch Clitoral Suction Stimulator
£26.24 £34.99 You save: £8.75 (25%)

Everyone's raving about clitoral suction these days, and with good reason! Clitoral stimulation is a great way for vulva-havers to get off, and suction toys like this one are uniquely poised to deliver an oral-like sensation to your clit. When it comes to mutual solo sessions, there's nothing quite like watching your partner experienced the 'ooh yeah' of something new for the very first time, so give a clitoral suction toy a try.

What customers say: "This toy is a party starter and a finisher. It's easy to use for personal use and easy with a partner. The suction vibration speeds are perfect for whatever mood you are in!"

Buy it here

Best Toy for All-Over Intensity

Lovehoney Dream Wand Rechargeable Mini Massage Wand Vibrator

Maybe you've seen a wand like this in your dreams: pretty, petite and powerful. Make this wand your travel companion as you cycle through its dazzling array of 7 patterns, each with 4 impressive levels of intensity.

What customers say: "This was the first sex toy I tried and I absolutely love it!! I orgasm every time my partner and I use it."

Buy it here

Best Sex Positions for Mutual Masturbation

You've got the will and you've got the way: now what? Those positions we promised, of course. Check out five different options for exploring mutual masturbation, ranging from the demure to the risqué.

Soft Touch

POTW soft touch

If you're eager to get started with mutual masturbation, but feel a little shy about doing so, Soft Touch is for you.

You may be 'lights on' people when you're doing your regular thing, but if you're feeling self-conscious about being watched, try switching off the lights or setting up a little mood lighting and covers over you both.

This way, there's no spotlight on anyone, leaving you free to relax and enjoy the moment.

You may find this gives you the confidence to reveal all!

How: Lie on your back next to one another and take hold of your partner's hand. Keep your eyes closed while you touch yourself in your favourite way, and enjoy listening to your partner and feeling them squeeze your hand as they play too.

Lover's Lounge

POTW lover's lounge

Once you're feeling a bit more confident, spread things out a little.

This position is ideal for whipping out your fave item from your toy box. Why not pick up a kit like the Wilder Weekend Rechargeable Couple's Sex Toy Kit and dive into trying a bunch of new toys together? That can help you focus your night on mutual pleasure instead of making it all about mutual masturbation, which may feel a little intimidating.

How: Sling one leg over your partner's lap while you play. The nearness helps make it feel like something you're doing together, while the sitting-up position makes it easy to catch a peek at their moves.

Club 96

POTW club 96

Move over 69, there's a new sex position in town. No, it's not second verse same as the first – Club 96 is for couples who want to see e v e r y t h i n g.

How: Lie next to one another with one leg over each other's chest, with your heads at opposite ends of the bed. Arrange yourself so you can get a sensational eyeful while your partner watches you enjoy your favourite toy or touch.

Peep Show

POTW peep show

To really set things alight, try out Peep Show, which challenges you to keep your hands off one another while giving you an all-access view to your partner's playground.

If you've got a passion for fashion, this is the perfect position to add lingerie to. We recommend a crotchless bodystocking for maximum appeal.

How: One partner settles comfortably on the edge of a bed with their legs spread, while the other kneels nearby. You can touch your partner, but only with one foot – instead, focus on watching them touch themselves where they like it most.

The Proposition

POTW The proposition

For a real intimate feel, try The Proposition, where close proximity to your partner is the name of the game.

How: Kneel comfortably facing your partner and let your hands explore your body, hips, inner thighs and intimate areas. Be sure to keep eye contact with your partner as play progresses – it'll bring the temperature up from hot to scorching.

Wow the Webcam

POTW wow the webcam

You may be hoping to enjoy some long-distance love with your partner, and a webcam + this position could be the best thing that happens to you.

We know, we know. Who wants to be long distance anymore? But actually, this is a great way to heat things up with a movie night. And by 'movie night', yes, we do mean 'adult movie night'.

Watching porn gives you both a shared focus, with the added benefit of amping up your arousal. Making a watch party of your partner and your favourite genre of porn at the same time? Priceless.

How: You and your partner probably won't be in the same room for this, so it's all about display and comfort. Make sure you're sitting in a comfy position, where you might be able to keep a phone between your ear and your shoulder. Arrange a webcam or mobile phone so it gives your partner intimate access as you show them your good stuff.

Top Toys and Accessories for Mutual Masturbation


Written by Lindsay. Lovehoney Editorial Team
Lindsay has been Lovehoney's specialist sex toy writer since 2018.
Originally from Canada, Lindsay loves to champion diversity, support the LGBTQ+ community and celebrate all things sexuality.

Originally published on 3 Mar 2022. Updated on 22 Mar 2022