How to Use a Masturbator: Your Complete Guide

In this guide: What is a masturbator? | Types | How to pick one | How to use one | Which is the best?

We get it: sometimes giving yourself a hand job ends up being a bit... well, samey. You might have it down to an art, but surely jacking off doesn’t have to be about using the same old moves every time? Or maybe you’ve landed on this page because you’re looking for hot new ways to pleasure your partner…

Whichever camp you’re in; consider this your masturbator guide. Find out how to use a stroker (a.k.a. male masturbator) and get tips for choosing the right one. You’ll also here from our sex expert, Annabelle Knight, on the different types of stroker and what they’ve got to offer.

Only got time for a quickie?

Here’s your masturbator guide in a nutshell; scroll on for the full lowdown.

• Male masturbators, or strokers, are sleeve-like sex toy for people with penises. With internal textures, variable suction, and even vibration, these toys make solo and partnered play feel incredible.

• “To use a stroker, all you need to do is add a little bit of lube to yourself and the toy,” says Annabelle, our resident sex and relationships expert. “You’ll soon find your favourite way to use it; experiment with different grips, strokes and levels of tightness.”

• For your first stroker, start with something simple and budget-friendly like a reversible stroker or masturbation egg. When you’re ready to level up, vibrating or automatic strokers add movement and intensity, mimicking oral or thrusting sensations.

• For the most lifelike feel, try a realistic stroker like a Fleshlight or THRUST: they’re shaped and textured to feel as close to the real thing as you can get. Arcwave is a good choice if you want an exceptionally high quality toy doesn’t look like a vulva or bum.

• A good water-based lube is essential for smooth, satisfying play.

A male masturbator is a sex toy for a penis. You’ll also hear these toys called “strokers”, which is the more gender-neutral term. The outer look of a stroker can vary, but inside it's generally tube-shaped, so you can insert your penis into it.

Some have realistic designs to imitate a vulva or bum, while others are simpler or more abstract. “Strokers are usually textured internally, to give a ‘better than real’ sensation,” says our resident sex and relationships expert, Annabelle Knight. They can be ribbed with varying tightness or even soft “teeth” that grip your shaft as you thrust.

Drizzled with lubricant, masturbators deliver slick, sensually textured sensations that are a lot like a satisfyingly sloppy hand job/oral sex combo. “The right stroker can add variety and make solo sessions more sensual. Some people might find they can even help to boost stamina,” says Annabelle. “They’re often inexpensive and easy to use, which makes them great sex toys for beginners.”

Prefer something discreet and simple, or high-tech and hands-free? Whatever you’re after, there’s a stroker to suit. Here are the main types to choose from:

• Realistic vaginas and butts: Crafted to look and feel realistic, these toys feature lifelike external details and snug textures inside. (You might hear the phrase “pocket pussy” used to describe them.) When paired with a water-based lube, they can mimic penetration really well. Perfect for fantasy fulfillment, or making solo play feel more like partnered sex.

• In a case: These strokers are housed in a hard outer shell, which gives you better grip and control. The twistable end cap lets you adjust suction for a tighter or looser feel, and the lidded design makes them easy to store.

• Reversible sleeves: Soft, flexible and travel-friendly, reversible strokers are a great choice for beginners or anyone who wants variety without fuss. Flip them inside out for a different texture – two toys in one, and easy to clean too.

• Automatic strokers: The future of masturbation is here! These toys can thrust, vibrate, warm up, or even sync with apps for long-distance play. They do the work for you while you focus on the pleasure – ideal for edging, stamina practice or a bit of indulgence.

So, what sets one masturbator apart from another? To pick your perfect stroker, think about why you’re excited to try one. Are you exploring fantasies, improving your stamina, looking for a couple’s toy or just looking for some slippery new sensations?

Also: if you’re diving into male masturbators for the first time and don’t know where to start, have a peek at our ‘How to Masturbate for Men’ guide. You might think you’ve got your routine down, but trust us — there might be a few pleasure spots you haven’t met yet.

Quality pleasure

If you’re new to masturbators, you might want to try a budget-friendly option like Arcwave Ghost before you invest in something more advanced. That said, there’s no need to scrimp when it comes to quality. Ghost is made from premium body-safe silicone, which feels sensual on your skin and is easy to keep clean.

Fantasy fun

A realistic stroker that looks and feels like a real vagina or butt can be a no-pressure way to let your imagination run wild. The Fleshlight Riley Reid Utopia Texture or THRUST Pro Ultra are great picks here; they offer ultra-real textures and visuals, along with a snug fit for a lifelike experience.

Stamina booster

Want to last longer? A stroker can help you build control while having a whole lot of fun. “Some men use a Fleshlight purely to intensify masturbation,” says Annabelle, “while others use it as a stamina training device; edging up to the brink of orgasm, then holding off to practise lasting longer during intercourse.”

Look for toys with detailed internal textures that keep you stimulated as you train your endurance. Tighter entries and ribbed sleeves can give your nerve endings intense stimulation – which will help you build up to stronger, more controlled climaxes.

Partnered play

Like all the best sex toys, you can use a masturbator during partnered sex and foreplay for a little extra excitement. You might enjoy using it on yourself while giving oral sex – or while letting your partner kiss your inner thighs and balls.

“Using a stroker with a partner can be really good fun,” says Annabelle. “Because some strokers don’t look anatomical, they’re not as intimidating for a partner as a realistic sex toy might be.” Try an open-ended stroker like Fleshlight QUICKSHOT, which leaves the head free to be licked and sucked by your lover.

Using a male masturbator is easy once you’ve got the hang of it. If you've got a Fleshlight, check our guide: How to Use a Fleshlight, as there are some specialist tips you may want to know. Otherwise, here’s the step-by-step masturbator guide to help make every stroke count:

Warm it up

Depending what kind of stroker you have, you can warm it gently by submerging the inner sleeve into a bowl of warm water or running it under the tap. If your toy has a case, remove that first. And make sure the water doesn’t get too hot.

Rinsing is handy for removing any dust or lint anyway, but warming your toy will also make the soft material feel even more sensual. Even better: pop your bottle of lube in a bowl of warm (not hot!) water and let that warm up too.

Add lube

“To use a stroker, all you need to do is add a little bit of lube to yourself and the toy,” says Annabelle. Repeat after us: The wetter, the better! Water-based lubricant keeps things smooth and friction-free, so your penis can slip and slide effortlessly into the toy’s textured sleeve. That said: “Don’t use a silicone or oil-based lube, as this can damage the material”.

Get set up

Experiment with the stroker’s features – some have vibration settings, suction caps or adjustable widths. Try inserting a finger or two into the sleeve first, to see how it feels. Once you’re happy, ease your penis in slowly. “You’ll soon find your favourite way to use it; experiment with different grips, strokes and levels of tightness,” says Annabelle.

Switch up positions

Try standing, kneeling, or even thrusting into your toy hands-free by wedging it between cushions or pillows. Different angles can change how the toy feels; you can play around with different speeds and rhythms too. Thrusting your hips might be less tiring than using your hand – it also feels more active and a bit closer to the realistic experience of penetrative sex.

Explore anal

Combining your stroker with anal sex or masturbation will hit multiple pleasure zones at once, which can make climax feel even more intense and full-body. Try thrusting into your masturbator while stimulating your prostate with a small butt plug, or letting your partner take control from behind.

Try with a partner

There’s no reason to keep your sex toy private – unless you like the naughty secret. Your partner could use the stroker on you during foreplay or oral, maybe using the stroker on your penis while gently sucking your balls or rimming your anus. Exploring sex toys together is another way to build intimacy, and find out what really makes each other melt.

Give it a wash

Clean-up is essential if you want your toy to stay in top condition, and usually a thorough wash with mild soap and warm water will do. Some sleeves can be turned inside out for easy washing. But check the manual that came with your toy for precise cleaning instructions, as some strokers may be made from materials that can’t handle soap.

If soap isn't an option, use a specialist sex toy cleaner (just spray your toy, leave for 30 seconds, and rinse or wipe off with a damp cloth). Once it’s completely dry, store your toy carefully in its own case or a small cloth bag to keep it free from dust or scratches. For tips on getting your stroker ship-shape, have a look at our ‘How to Clean Sex Toys’ guide.

We’ve hand-picked the most-loved strokers from hundreds of glowing customer reviews. Whether you’re after realism, rumbling vibrations or a stroker that’s both bonkable and budget-friendly, these are the toys people can’t stop raving about: