Everything You Need to Know About Sex on Your Period
‘A real pirate isn’t afraid to sail the red seas’, my boyfriend told me with a reassuring ‘YAARH’, throwing a towel on the bed underneath us.
I’d been nervous about explaining to him that Aunt Flo’s inconvenient arrival might prematurely end our hookup, but his nonchalance soothed my worries, and we proceeded to have amazing romantic sex.
It’s not unusual to feel a bit squeamish about period sex. A combination of cramps, hormonal acne and bloating never makes me feel particularly sexy around that time of the month, anyway. I’d always imagined period sex as vaguely resembling that scene from The Shining or the time I accidentally shook the ketchup bottle with the lid off.
But in reality, period sex is no bloodbath – you’d be surprised at just how little cleanup is needed. It can even help reduce cramps!
There’s no reason to have to abstain from sex for a quarter of the month, so let’s break the taboo and make the most of your menses.
What are the common myths about period sex?
Myth: Guys hate period sex.
Reality: It differs from person to person, but you might be surprised how many men it doesn't bother. One online poll suggested that over half of the men asked have no problem having sex with a woman during her time of the month.
Myth: Girls hate period sex.
Reality: Not all girls! Many women are simply embarrassed or worried about bringing it up with their partner. Another poll found that 37% of queer women were happy to have sex during their partner’s period, as well.
Myth: You can’t get pregnant on your period.
Reality: While unlikely, it is possible to get pregnant on your period, so it’s always a good idea to use condoms or your usual contraceptive.
Myth: Periods are gross.
Reality: Although ‘grossness’ is definitely subjective, menstrual blood is just a normal bodily fluid, and sex isn't exactly neat at any time. Who says sex can’t be a bit messy anyway?!
So what are the benefits of sex on your period?
I’ve already mentioned that orgasms can help to relieve cramps, but did you know they might be able to shorten your period?
Some gynecologists think that the contractions of the uterus during orgasm help shed the menstrual blood and shorten the period. Definitely worth a try, in my book.
Being comfortable with period sex means that you can have sex at all times of the month. Plus, it can be an extremely intimate experience and, for many, a real confidence booster.
How to make period sex great
It's normal to be a bit self-conscious about period sex. Unfortunately, lots of us grew up feeling like periods were somewhat embarrassing (I know I've cursed tampon wrappers for being noisy so many times in public bathrooms), so it might take a while to get used to the idea. Here are some of my tips for the best period sex:
1. Start off on your own with a toy. Perhaps an unobtrusive bullet vibrator like one of these will help you feel comfortable with your own body at that time of the month.
2. Incorporate a massage. Nothing will relieve those cramps as well as making you feel sexy like an intimate massage from your partner. Bonus points if you work in a luxurious massage oil.
3. Try it in the shower. This way, you'll be certain that you wont make a mess of your sheets and you can instantly clean yourself off afterwards. I like to turn the main lights off and use candles so I won't be worried about the shower floor looking like the aftermath of Psycho (sorry, TMI)!
4. If you want to have sex on a bed, put down a towel or an old sheet first so you don't have to worry about stains. Remember – cold water is your best bet for removing blood stains.
5. Missionary is a great position for period sex because it can reduce your flow.
Got any more tips for safe, comfortable sex on your period? Leave them in the comments below.
Cara is a student blogger for Lovehoney. She studies English and appreciates grammatically correct erotica written in the active voice.
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