How to Use a Strap-On

Discover boundless excitement with strap-on play.

The very definition of a couple's plaything, strap-on sex toys are designed to switch up the sexual dynamics in your relationship. They can be used by straight people, gay people, bi people, pansexual people... pretty much anyone!

In this guide, we'll cover all the information you need if you're looking to introduce a strap-on to your playtime, including what pegging is, how to choose a dildo for a harness, and using a strap-on.

Recommended Strap-Ons

What is pegging?

Pegging is when a person without a penis uses a strap-on to penetrate a person with a penis. While lesbians have been using strap-ons on each other for a long time, strap-on play has recently reached the mainstream for hetero couples too.

“Ladies, don’t be scared of pegging! It’s such a power trip and an amazing turn-on to see your man so vulnerable and having no control. Lads, honestly, give pegging a go! You won’t regret it.” - Lady nymphOOO

We often get asked, does pegging make you gay? No. Is pegging fun? Absolutely.

While some people may worry about engaging in certain sexual acts, we say, as long as everyone is enjoying themselves, who cares? After all, the body parts that you enjoy having stimulated have nothing to do with who you're attracted to.

How to choose a dildo that fits your harness

Most strap-on harness kits have either a hole or an O-ring that you slot a dildo into. They usually come with at least one dildo to start you off. However, once you discover the joys of strap-on sex, you'll be hungry to try dildos in new shapes and sizes with your harness.

"Don't forget that you can use cock sleeves and extensions to give extra length and girth to your dildos." - Gyrator53

To choose a dildo that will fit in your harness, start by measuring the internal diameter of your O-ring on the harness. Make sure you're only measuring the space the dildo will go through, not the full width of the O-ring.

To choose an O-ring or harness that will work with your dildo, measure the circumference of your dildo, just above the flared base (where it will sit in the O-ring).

How to put a dildo in your harness

Get your dildo in place before you put your harness on - it’s much easier. If your harness has an interchangeable O-ring, make sure the O-ring is attached to the harness before you start.

“The harness itself was very easy to use and adjust the size to fit you snugly, and having a removable O-ring allows you to use this with a large range of toys - a very big bonus.” - Matt!

If your dildo is long and smooth with a flat, flared base like the Lovehoney 7 Inch Curved Silicone Dildo, you can just slip it into the O-ring.

If your dildo is large, has a big kink in it, or has testicles like the Lifelike Lover Realistic Dildo 6 Inch, you’ll need to gently pinch the flared base and work it through the O-ring.

Either way, a little water-based lubricant can help ease the dildo through the O-ring.

Now onto our strap-on instructions.

How to use a strap-on dildo correctly

There are many ways to enjoy a strap-on. And while full enjoyment largely depends on the speed, thrust depth, and positions you like, we do have some strap-on tips to make your experience easier and more comfortable.

"Although we do not do pegging in a femdom context, empowerment and domination / role reversal can be great psychological enhancements." - SSLH

1. Use lube

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Whether you're penetrating a vagina or an anus, a good lubricant is a must.

If you’re doing anal penetration, we’d recommend an anal lube as it’s thicker and requires less reapplication.

And if your dildo is made of silicone, don't use a silicone lube - go for water-based lube instead.

2. Take it slow

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It's important that both of you take the time beforehand to 'warm up' and relax into your play. This is particularly important for anal penetration.

“With a bit of lube they slide in perfectly, and the different sizes mean you can slowly build up as you go along.” - Misss J

Try experimenting with fingers and smaller toys first. Only start using a strap-on dildo when you feel ready.

3. Communicate

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Remember, the wearer won't be able to feel their new appendage. So, if you're receiving, you'll have to tell your lover what feels good and what doesn't.

"It is the ultimate form of trust for a couple to engage in having sex with a strap-on." - wee_bear

If you're the giver, be sure to listen not only to your partner's words but also their reactions. Let them guide the depth and speed of penetration.

4. Perfect your strap-on position

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Find a position that is most comfortable for both of you and which puts the receiver in control. Some popular favorites are the on-top, doggy style, and spooning.

5. Agree on a safe word

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A safeword is a word or phrase that, once said, ceases play immediately. They are vital for safety and peace of mind during play.

Want to find out more?

You can Contact Customer Care, who will be able to help you find the right strap-on. You can email, telephone or live chat to an experienced advisor 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

The other great place to look for people's advice on sex toys is on the Lovehoney Forum, where our community is on hand to give their opinions and tips.

Contact Lovehoney Customer Care | Visit The Lovehoney Forum

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