How To Give a Blowjob They'll Never Forget

In this guide: How to give a blowjob | How to enjoy giving them

A great blowjob: often seen as a cornerstone of a steamy, satisfying sex life. Much like the hand job, this classic move can take a quickie to learn and many sex sessions to master. But for the keen students out there, you can step up your fellatio skills in no time with our top oral sex tips. You (and your lover) are very welcome.

Whether it’s your first time or if you’re already clued up on how to give good head, we’ve packed in plenty of ways to up your game. Think: tongue techniques, positions, temperature play, and toys…. Let’s get into it.

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Only got time for a quickie?

Want to perfect your oral skills but don’t have time for the full guide? Here’s what you need to know in a nutshell:

• Ask your partner what they enjoy most. Talking about what feels good (or doesn't) will give you a little intimacy boost as well as ideas for what to try – think of it like foreplay!
• Build anticipation first. Kissing, stroking and teasing before you go down helps heighten arousal and make the experience even more enjoyable.
• Use your mouth, hands, and tongue together. Vary your technique and pay attention to sensitive spots like the head, frenulum and testicles (read the full article for techniques and tips).
• Experiment with extras. You can pair oral with sex toys, flavoured lube, or even temperature play to keep things exciting. Just be sure to get consent before slipping anything in the back door...
• Enthusiasm is sexy. Your partner will enjoy receiving oral so much more if you're enjoying giving it – so don't do anything you don't want to do. There’s no pressure to deep-throat or swallow unless you want to!

Ever wondered why it’s called a ‘blowjob’? There are lots of theories, but our favourite is that it’s a shortening of the Victorian phrase ‘below-job’! Whatever its origins, don’t be misled: sucking and licking is the name of the game here.

Find out what they like

We can give you all the sex tips you like (and we will!) but the first step to giving a good blowjob is asking what your partner likes. This doesn’t have to be as awkward as it sounds – talking about what turns you on can be awesome foreplay!

Do they like long, slow strokes, or short fast ones that focus on the head? Are they open to trying sex toys while you go down on them? Encourage your lover to teach you what feels amazing to them. Every body is different, after all.

“If they’re up for talking about what they fantasise about or watch in porn, that can be useful too,” says sex and relationship expert, Annabelle Knight. “Be open to hearing about what they like but don’t feel under pressure to recreate it, if that’s not something you’re comfortable with. They might love the idea of deep-throating, for example. But it’s totally up to you to decide if that’s your thing!”

Build sexual tension

There’s no rush: taking your time to turn your lover on not only makes the fun last longer but can make them come harder. Edging – where you stimulate your partner until they’re close to coming, then pause and repeat – helps to intensify orgasms when you finally tip them over the edge.

So, before you get your mouth involved, try kissing them as you stroke their neck, chest and inner thighs, or start massaging their member over their underwear. You can also get their pulse racing before you’re even in the bedroom: send them a few cheeky NSFW texts to let them know what you want to do to them later…

Show your enthusiasm

Experts (and anyone with a penis) confirms that enthusiasm goes a long way! Your partner will love seeing that you’re enjoying getting them off, so don’t be embarrassed to show that you’re having fun. Your mouth won’t exactly be free for talking, but there are other ways to let them know.

Slurp, slobber or moan as you’re giving head, if it feels natural. Seeing your lack of inhibitions can be a big turn on. You can also try holding eye contact as you take their penis into your mouth, or touching yourself while you pleasure them.

Unlike a handjob, blowjobs create a uniquely incredible sensation that your lover can’t replicate on their own. Any time you spend licking and sucking their penis will be gratefully received; so feel confident that they’ll consider anything extra you can add to a blowjob to be a cherry on an already very sexy cake.

Choose a position with a view

Men can be visual creatures, so don't be shy to put on a show while you get stuck in. Try opting for a sex position that celebrates your curves. For example: if your lover’s standing and you kneel in front of them, they’ll have a great top-down view of your body and all the action. Plus, you'll be able to use your hands to tease all their erogenous zones while you suck (scroll down for more on how to get your hands involved).

If standing isn't an option for your lover, have them sit on the edge of the bed (or in a chair) while you kneel in front of them. It's more relaxing than standing the whole time, but keeps your face in view so they can get a glimpse of your mouth and tongue.

Grab the lube

While all penis owners have their own preferences, it’s generally accepted that wetter is better. Lube will help you keep things nice and slippery. Pick out a flavoured lube that sounds delicious to you, and turn your lover’s penis into a lickable treat. It’s also worth keeping a glass of water nearby, to avoid the dreaded dry mouth.

Avoid teeth

If you’ve got a small mouth, or are dealing with a particularly sizable penis, it can be helpful to pull your lips over your teeth to avoid accidental scrapes or nibbles. Another good option is to use your mouth to stimulate the head of the penis and leave your lubed-up hands to work on the shaft.

That said, some people are partial to teeth gently brushing against their skin during a BJ! Another good reason to ask your lover what does it for them.

Pay attention to every part

Sliding your lips up and down the shaft might be the main event, but there are so many other erogenous zones to focus on; both on the penis itself and surrounding it.

You can then slide your lips along the shaft. If your lover is open to anal masturbation, trace a lubed-up finger or prostate massager around the anus before carefully sliding in (ask first! We'll cover more on butt play and consent below).

Use your tongue

Your tongue can do SO much more than your hands – so make sure you make the most of this slippery-smooth asset. For example, you can use the tip of your tongue to apply more intense pressure – try running it up and down the super-sensitive frenulum.

Try temperature play

Stimulate your lover’s nerve endings in a whole new way by creating cooling and warming sensations. You can try this without any gear: after getting your partner’s penis good and wet with spit, gently blow on the head to create a cooling sensation. Or use an ice cube to cool your mouth and lips before you go down.

Tried and tested? If you lover is a big fan of temperature play, invest in toys to experiment further. Glass holds temperatures well, so you can place a glass dildo or butt plug in the fridge or a bowl of warm water before incorporating anal play into your BJ.

Otherwise, tingling and warming lubes are another way to boost your partner’s sensitivity to touch. Try stroking their balls with your choice of these lubes while your mouth works on their penis.

Ask about butt play

There's lots of fun you can have here, if both you and your partner are excited to try anal play (enthusiastic consent is essential, always!). Once you've got the green light, slather your finger in anal lube and try gently slipping it into your partner’s anus.

And if you're new to this, no stress; our resident sexpert has tips. “Ease your finger up in a ‘come hither’ motion until you can feel their prostate: a firm, curved area inside their anus, on the stomach side of their body," say Annabelle. "Gently rubbing this hot spot while you’re stroking and sucking their penis can feel incredible; go slowly though, because pushing too hard on this super-sensitive area can feel very intense.”

Need a hand finding the P-spot? Prostate massagers are shaped specifically to target them. Just remember to add a generous drizzle of anal lube.

Use a toy

Speaking of prostate massagers, bringing sex toys into the mix opens up lots of playful possibilities. Get your partner buzzing with a vibrating cock ring; these add an extra layer of stimulation and can also help them stay harder for longer. We’ve got tips on how to use a cock ring, if you’re new to the party.

Take a break

If you start to get jaw ache, give yourself a rest and switch to kissing their inner thighs and stomach while your hands take over for a while. Try dirty talk: ask your partner if they like what you're doing and let them know how hot you find them.

This can also be a good moment to drink water or add lubricant if your mouth feels dry. Need to stock up? Check out our guide to the best lube.

Keep a towel or tissues to hand

Keep clean-up simple by having a few essentials (and a glass of water) nearby.

The best blowjobs are the ones that are fun for everyone involved. It’s all about finding techniques that make the experience comfortable and exciting for both of you. With that in mind, here are our final top tips for tailoring your head game:

Condoms can protect you from STIs. Playing with someone new, or just want to play it safe? Flavoured condoms make it easy (and tasty) to give head, stress-free.

Everyone has a smell or taste. It’s totally okay to ask your lover to wash first, though – you can even make showering together beforehand part of your foreplay.

You don’t have to swallow. You’ve got plenty of options: if swallowing semen feels icky to you, keep a tissue nearby so you can spit it out. You can also choose to finish your partner off with your hands, or ask them to come on your breasts or stomach instead.

You don’t have to deep throat. Wanna try deepthroating, but got a gag reflex? Combining a stroker with lip and tongue action can create the illusion of depth. By placing the tip of your tongue on the roof of your mouth, you can also give the feeling of the penis hitting the back of your throat. If you want to make some faux-choking noises for effect, that can be fun too!

You don’t have to choke on it. Faux-choking might be fun, but you don't actually have to choke to give good head. You see it all the time in porn, but it certainly isn't a requirement. That said, if you feel like embracing the drama then go for it; it’s all about doing whatever feels good to you.