Word of the Week: Brat

by Violet

on 5 Aug 2022

Get your tongue around some new sexual terminology with this week's Word of the Week...

Word of the Week


A term used within the BDSM community to describe a submissive individual who enjoys ‘misbehaving’ in order to be punished by their dominant partner

A brat desires to be put in their place by a Dom in the form of discipline

In this week's Word of the Week we take a look at the term brat.

While for most the term brat is used to describe a spoiled or badly behaved child, in the BDSM community its used to describe someone who purposely 'misbehaves' because they enjoy punishment.

Being a brat is a subgenre of being a submissive. However, rather than rolling over and being dominated no questions asked, brats will playfully push their Dom's buttons and break pre-determined rules.

Usually, brats act mischievously rather than aggressively (they are still submissives after all). For example, a brat may call their Dom (or tamer as brat's partners are often referred to) names in order to provoke them. They may refuse to be quiet when a Dom has insisted upon it, forcing them to bring out a ball gag. Or a brat may purposely irritate their tamer with the hopes of getting a spanking in return.

As you can see, BDSM relationships and roles can be quite complex - there is a role to suit every personality.

Best toys for brats

Tips and tricks to embrace your inner brat

Whether you are an old hand at bondage play, or about to explore it for the very first time, there are always some things to consider while exploring a new BDSM scene.

  1. Set boundaries. BDSM is a fantastic way to push yourself to explore new things, broaden sexual limits and really learn about who you are sexually. However, these things take time and require deep levels of trust. Before you set off exploring your brat alter-ego, have a quick chat with your lover and set some boundaries. Discuss the things you are and aren't comfortable with and always have a pre-determined safe word agreed upon before you do anything.

  2. Get into character. Being a brat is less about brutish defiance and more about being sassy, mischievous and a little bit cheeky. Obviously, your brat character can be whatever you want it to be, but some popular options include a naughty student, or a sulky sugar baby. On the other hand, if you would like to get in touch with your brat tamer side, popular roles include a fed-up teacher, a strict nurse, or a grumpy boss.

  3. Start small. If you and your lover are just starting out with your BDSM play, you may think you need a fully stocked dungeon to make your fantasies come to life. However, we recommend starting small and working your way up to more extreme props, such as whips and chastity devices. Instead, invest in a good quality blindfold, some wrist restraints and maybe a beginner friendly bondage kits to get things started.

Want to learn more sex terminology? Check out our Ultimate Sex Dictionary.


Written by Violet. Lovehoney Editorial Team
Violet joined Lovehoney's writing team in 2019 as our lingerie aficionado.
Violet is also an avid sex toy collector and co-host of The Sexual Happiness Podcast

Originally published on 5 Aug 2022. Updated on 7 Apr 2022