Beginner’s Guide to Dildos

In this guide: What are dildos for? | Best dildos for beginners | What types are there? | How to choose one | Where to get one | First-time use | More reasons to love

The whole idea of a dildo can seem... a bit intimidating? It might feel like a long way from your little bullet vibrator (or just playing with your fingers).

But once you find the right dildo (or dildos!) for you, it opens the door to all sorts of pleasurable possibilities. Incredible sensations that you can usually only get during penetrative sex – and some that you might never have experienced before – are all yours with a dildo, whether you’re playing solo or with a partner.

Perfect for all genders and sexual orientations, these sex toys are a classic for a reason. So, let’s figure out which dildo could be just right for you...

Only got time for a quickie?

Rule one of playing with dildos: preparation is key. So, if you’re raring to get started, these are the highlights – then you can skip ahead to anything you’d like more info on in the guide below:

• Avoid having eyes bigger than your... y’know. For your first dildo, don’t go any larger than what you’re used to from penetration (for now). If in doubt, start small – and go for high-quality materials without breaking the bank.

• Browse a few dildos and check out the reviews. Knowing what turns you on (realistic head, deep ridges, thrusting motor, etc.) will make browsing for your first toy much easier – so don’t hesitate to fantasize on your own and shop around a little before you buy!

• Double your pleasure with partner play. If you’d like a strap-on dildo to penetrate your lover, check out strapless strap-ons – or even double-ended dildos. This way, you both get to enjoy the intensity of internal stimulation when you play.

• Get really aroused before penetration. Relax and get turned on before you play; don’t try to go straight from zero to penetration! Fondling yourself with lubed-up fingers and reading or watching something erotic can help to heat things up first.

• Enjoy the ride... Playing with dildos can be a low-stakes way to explore your desires, and to bond with your lover over sexy shared experiences.

Anyone who loves penetrative vaginal or anal sex can also enjoy using these classic toys. Dildos are designed for inserting into your vagina or anus to stimulate your internal nerve endings. It can also feel incredible to use a dildo to massage your external hotspots – nipples, clitoris, you name it.

Dildos are suited to all bodies, genders and orientations thanks to their simple shape and size range. “Many people think of huge, realistic, and frankly quite scary sex toys when they hear the word ‘dildo’,” says sex and relationships expert Annabelle Knight. “But in reality, dildos come in all different shapes sizes, colours and textures.”

If you’re new to dildos, it’s a good idea to start with something smaller and beginner-friendly, like the Lovehoney 5.5 Inch Suction Cup Dildo. It has a slim 3.5-inch circumference for easy, comfortable penetration – plus, its suction-cup base means you can ride it by attaching it to a smooth surface, and it can double up as a pegging dildo too.

Once you feel confident stepping things up, you can try other dildos to explore different sensations. If you’d like the gentle stretch of something a bit bigger, with an added buzz and a veiny lifelike feel, the BASICS 6.5 Inch Classic Dildo Vibrator is a great next step. (Though if you’re after a dildo for anal use, this one’s not for you as it doesn’t have a flared base; check out these beauties instead.)

There’s no need to spend loads on your first dildo; you’re just trying things out, after all. But we recommend going for high-quality materials (more on this later!) to make sure your experience is smooth, satisfying and safe.

Each style brings its own special magic to the bedroom. Here's what each type of dildo has to offer…

Suction cup

These little suckers stick to any smooth surface, keeping your hands free to stroke and tease other areas while you grind. Slap a suction cup dildo on the bathroom tiles for steamy shower sessions, or stick one to the floor for hands-free fun. If you love to ride a partner and want to bring that kind of stimulation into your solo sex life, this is the dildo for you.

Realistic

Designed to look and feel like the real thing, realistic dildos come complete with veins and defined heads that'll make you do a double-take. (Some feature balls at the base for that extra level of authenticity!) The texture of those raised external features adds a thrilling extra layer of sensation as you play.

Metal or glass

Beautiful, sensual, stimulating: these functional pieces of art offer temperature play that just isn't possible with a real-life member. Pop a metal or glass dildo in the fridge for breathtaking coolness or warm it in a bowl of warm water for delicious heat. They're perfectly smooth, completely non-porous, and give you very firm, targeted pressure that's designed to hit your G-spot or P-spot.

Thrusting or vibrating

These high-tech wonders do the heavy lifting for you, featuring automatic thrusting motions and buzzing sensations that'll hit every single sweet spot. Thrusting dildos are ideal if you want hands-free pleasure or find repetitive movements uncomfortable... or just a bit of a faff.

Double-ended

With two delicious heads, double-ended dildos are perfect for sharing the love with a partner or treating yourself to some double-penetration adventures. These longer, curved dildos are often “super flexible”, says Annabelle Knight, our resident sex and relationships expert. "So, you can turn it into a double vaginal and anal dildo in one go." Talk about bang for your buck!

Fantasy

That’s right, our smut and romantasy lovers can get fantasy dildos to suit almost any scenario. Think: scaly dragon, mystical unicorn, or deep sea monster... These creative masterpieces often feature unique textures, curves, and colours that provide sensations you'll never get from realistic toys.

Picking the perfect dildo is a bit like choosing a dance partner – you want someone who moves with you, not against you.

Size matters (but not in the way you think): Bigger isn't always better, despite what porn might have you believe. Start small and work your way up when you’re sure you’re ready. Remember: you can always upgrade to something larger, but it's not always easy to recover from using something that’s too big for you.

Consider your experience level: Newbies should opt for slimmer toys (around 1 inch in diameter), while seasoned players might enjoy the full-up feeling of options with more girth.

Think about your goals: Fancy some G-spot stimulation? Look for curved designs. Interested in deep penetration? Longer, straighter toys are your friends. Planning to share with a partner? Double-ended options are perfect.

Consider a strapless strap-on: "Straps and buckles can make you feel an emotional and physical distance between you and your partner," says Annabelle Knight. "Strapless strap-ons get rid of all of that, [which] means you get maximum skin-on-skin contact, which increases those intimacy levels."

Materials

Understanding toy materials is crucial for both safety and maximum pleasure:

Non-porous materials like medical-grade silicone, borosilicate glass, and stainless steel are completely body-safe. They don't harbour nasty bacteria, can be fully sterilised, and will last for years with proper care.

"Metal dildos are non-gendered, non-anatomically correct, and unisex," says Annabelle. "So, it doesn't matter how you identify, what your sexual preferences are, or what you like in bed, metal toys are suitable for all." Not only that, but you'll never need to replace the batteries or worry about housemates hearing that tell-tale buzzing!

Porous materials like jelly, rubber, and some cheaper plastics can trap bacteria and may contain skin-irritating chemicals like phthalates. If you choose these materials, always use condoms over your toy.

These days, you can easily buy a dildo online from a sex toy retailer – and get it delivered in a matter of days. You might have spotted large ecommerce marketplaces like Amazon or Temu selling sex toys too – but be careful! Some sellers on these platforms ship low quality, unsafe sex toys and may even imitate more trustworthy brands to get sales.

To keep yourself safe, look out for high quality, non-porous materials like silicone, stainless steel, or borosilicate glass. Stick to trusted brands with decades of experience researching and designing sex toys. When shopping online, check the returns policy and look out for discreet shipping options (just in case your parcel ends up with a neighbour!).

If you’re playing with a dildo for the first time, take your time and get curious about what feels amazing to you. “It's a good idea to get aroused before you begin to play,” says Annabelle. Whether you want to caress and fondle yourself with your hands to slowly turn yourself on, or read a spot of erotica, take time to get yourself well and truly in the mood.

Once you’re feeling hot and ready, add a slick of water-based lube to your dildo; this will make everything feel ultra-smooth and more comfortable. Start gently with a shallow insertion (there’s no rush!), enjoying how it feels to just insert the tip at first. Let your body guide you, and only go deeper or faster when it feels good to you.

“Different people like to use dildos in different ways,” says Annabelle. “You might want to stimulate your clitoris or penis while using your dildo, or to use it during oral sex. The choice is yours.” To get the most out of your toy, check out our detailed guide on How to Use a Dildo (you’re welcome!).

No matter how you like to play, look after your toy by cleaning before and after you use it, then storing it safely for next time.

As well as being a way to add to the fun, both when you’re masturbating or with a partner, a dildo can be a great way to explore your fantasies. Ever wondered what it would feel like to try double penetration, or something girthier – or longer, or slimmer, or more curved – than you’ve had before? There’s a dildo for that.

Like any new experience in bed, dildos can help you feel more connected to your partner. It’s an opportunity to talk about what feels good together, and what turns each of you on. And it’s open conversations like that can lead to sharing more exciting, intimate experiences – and a deeper emotional connection, too.