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Enjoy pushing the boundaries, dabbling in a little danger, or simply testing your balance in the bedroom?! Some sex positions are practically health hazards, if you don’t approach with caution.
From gravity-defying lifts to ultra-bendy contortions (as well as a few trusty favourites that might surprise you), we’ve rounded up the most daring and asked an expert: how can you do this safely?!
So, before you try anything that might result in a trip to A&E, find out what sex and relationships expert, Annabelle Knight has to say about how to do each position safely.
Missionary
Do a double take if you must! In our survey of over 2,000 adults in the UK, we discovered that more than a third experienced an injury of some kind during Missionary.
From carpet burns and pulled muscles to bruises and back injuries, Missionary might not be as vanilla as you thought...
“Popping a pillow under the lumbar spine of the person on bottom can help prevent back injuries or flare-ups,” says Annabelle Knight. “It may also help increase pleasure during penetration, as the hips are tilted upwards.”
Whenever you’re “on top” there’s a risk your knees might complain. “Move to a standing position while the receiver is reclining on the bed,” suggests Annabelle. “Changing how close you are to your lover’s body may make it easier and reduce fatigue – it's all about experimenting and finding what works for you!”
And if you love the intimacy of Missionary, but want to make it better, try a wearable couple’s vibrator, which slips inside to be worn during penetration, sending skin-tingling vibrations to the G-spot.
Reverse Cowgirl
Think: girl on top – with a twist. “Simply have the penetrating partner lie flat on their back, with the riding partner on top. Instead of being face-to-face, the partner on top should be facing away,” says Annabelle.
It looks simple enough, but Reverse Cowgirl can be responsible for torn frenula and penile fractures – aka broken penises! Even regular Cowgirl isn’t safe – almost 1in 6 of our survey respondents experienced bedroom disaster in this position.
“To make this one work, the two of you need to stay in sync – one mistimed thrust could result in a bent penis,” says Annabelle. “Go slow and communicate with one another.”
Like any penetration position, it also helps to use plenty of lube, as this reduces friction while making everything feel deliciously slippery. “Instead of thrusting or bouncing, the person on top should use smaller motions or grinding,” Annabelle adds. This should help prevent any frenulum tears.
Expert tip: The frenulum is that little stretch of skin that attaches the foreskin to the head of the penis. It’s pretty sensitive (try placing a bullet vibe against it or licking it enthusiastically during oral sex to see just how sensitive) and easy to tear during vigorous penetration.
The good thing about taking Reverse Cowgirl slow is that the person on top can focus on stimulating themselves manually too. If you mostly orgasm through clitoral stimulation, rubbing your clit while grinding your G-spot on your lover’s penis can feel out of this world.
Butter Churner
Who knew making butter would be so hard? In this potion, the receiver lies back with their legs and bottom high in the air. The giver squats as deeply as possible over their lover’s rear, thrusting downwards.
The Butter Churner offers pretty wild G-spot stimulation – but at what cost? You’re at risk of neck, back, and even hamstring stains. So be extremely careful!
“The infamous Butter Churner is one for flexible, adventurous couples,” says Annabelle. “Avoid any sudden or forceful movements. Slower, gentler thrusts will still hit the spot!”
Be sure the receiver can support their weight in their upper arms and shoulders – rather than their neck! – and consider having a safeword if the sensation gets too intense.
You can use pillows or a sex wedge to support the lower back or under the shoulders, but stop if you’re feeling any strain. “There are plenty more positions to try instead!” says Annabelle.
The Accordion
You can both play to the same tune with this one, but the receiver takes control of how deep is too deep, using the depth of their squat to adjust.
“The penetrating partner lies on their back, with their knees pressed as close to their chest as their flexibility permits,” says Annabelle. “The receiver squats down onto the back of the penetrator's thighs and moves up and down.”
You’re mimicking the motion of an accordion – which seems pretty harmless – but it can actually cause penile bending (ouch) and cervical bruising (double ouch). The motion is easy, but it could feel too deep for some receivers.
“Like learning to play any instrument, it takes practice,” says Annabelle. “It’s easy to get carried away in a rhythm so, take it slowly, ensuring the angle of penetration is comfortable and the receiver is able to control the depth of the squat.”
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Doggy Style
Yep, you read that correctly – even Doggy Style comes with a sprinkle of danger. Over half the people we surveyed have experienced a bedroom disaster during this old faithful.
In Doggy, the giver enters the receiver from behind. Bent over the bed or on-all-fours on the ground? You decide! It’s easy enough but being face-down-booty-up can be surprisingly painful.
“The giver needs to be careful where they’re placing their weight to avoid straining the receiver’s wrists,” says Annabelle. “Maintaining an upright posture, instead of resting down on the receiver, will relieve that pressure. And the receiver, instead of resting on their hands, can rest on their forearms instead.”
“To avoid friction burns from the carpet, get on all-fours on the bed or place a soft blanket on the floor first,” she adds.
Once you’ve taken care of all that – Doggy has a lot to offer. The position opens the receiving partner up for deep penetration, while leaving lots of space for manual stimulation – or a bit of hair-pulling.
Try a clitoral suction toy for even more sensational Doggy, as these gadgets use pulsing air waves to tease the clitoris without overstimulating it. Expect weak-at-the-knees pleasure.
Standing 69
You may never feel closer to your partner than when sandwiched together in the 69 position. It’s intimate and playful – the perfect way to get you warmed up and turned on. Standing 69 is just like that... except it requires a lot more muscle.
The lighter – and braver! – partner should lie down across the width of the bed, with their head close to the edge. The heavier and stronger of the two should stand at their head.
Bending their knees to protect the back, the standing partner will grasp their lover around the waist and carefully lift – while the reclining partner holds on using both arms and legs.
“One of you will literally be upside down, held up only by their partner’s strength. I cannot stress enough that you need to be careful with this one,” says Annabelle.
The holder might experience muscle pain and cramps from supporting their partner’s entire body weight. Annabelle adds: “The upside-down partner could experience dizziness and numbness from the inversion – or even a loss of consciousness.”
“Don’t be afraid to speak up if you experience any pain or dizziness. Better stop what you’re doing and switch positions to something more pleasurable, than risk a serious injury,” she warns.
Tug of Love
You might take one look at Tug of Love and declare: It’s a ‘no’ from me. But if you’re leaping to the challenge, proceed with caution.
This position is perfect for shallowing and G-spot stimulation, but there’s also the ever-so-minor issue of the penis being at risk of bending in a way nature never intended.
The giving partner begins by lying down on the bed with their legs wide open. The receiver sits upright, between their lover’s open legs, and inserts the penis or dildo.
The receiving partner can now lean back – slowly! – until they’re lying flat on the bed between their lover’s legs. Then, you can grab each other’s hands and gently pull yourselves closer together.
“I must say, it seems like a lot of work and risk!” says Annabelle. “As with other positions where the penis isn’t at a favourable angle, communication is crucial.” If the partner with a penis feels anything that isn’t right, they must say something straight away.
“This isn’t a position either of you are going to maintain for the entire session, so make it as pleasurable as possible with plenty of lube and clit stimulation,” Annabelle adds.
Shallowing can feel incredible for both partners, but you might not have enough momentum in this position to really hit those sweet spots. Try a vibrating cock ring, which will send tingles down the shaft of the penis for you both to enjoy.
And, if you keep slipping out, try sitting in a more upright position, both of you wedged up by pillows if necessary.
The Wheelbarrow
Brace yourselves (literally) for this one. You’ll both need a lot of upper body strength and stamina, since the receiver will essentially be planking while the giver holds their lover’s lower body weight in their arms.
“Test the position out on a soft surface for a few seconds and see how well you can hold it,” advises Annabelle.
If your gym addiction has paid off, here’s how to get into the Wheelbarrow: Start with the receiving partner on all fours and the penetrating partner squatting behind.
The giving partner will enter the vagina or anus (with plenty of lube) and slowly stand up, holding the receiving partner’s thighs or ankles – whichever you can get a better grip on.
The receiving partner should engage their core and keep their knees bent, pressing up through the arms to take the pressure off their wrists.
“If either of you starts to feel your grip slipping or strength beginning to fail, make immediate adjustments,” says Annabelle. Without making any sudden movements, lower the receiving partner so they can rest on all fours.
You could try a seated version of the Wheelbarrow, where the penetrating partner gets comfortable on the edge of a bed or chair.
Annabelle adds, “It’s far better to have a moment of awkwardness while you shift things around than to drop your partner and give them a bumped head at best – or a broken wrist at worst!”
The Helicopter
For this one, arm strength is non-negotiable. It’s a tough and athletic position, and you’ll both need to do a few stretches before you begin!
Receiver, beware: The Helicopter is not one of the most comfortable positions to maintain. And, with the giver on top, you risk losing arm strength and faceplanting the floor, not to mention a potential penile fracture.
Still keen to give it a go? OK, but try the position without penetration first, to see if you can hold it.
The receiver should start by lying face down on the floor. The giver lies face-down over their lover, but with their face between the receiver’s feet. Now, both of you can carefully raise yourselves up onto your forearms.
Eventually, the receiver will be on hands and knees – face down, ass up, as the song goes. Meanwhile, the giver will be holding their entire body weight in their arms.
It takes impressive core strength to pull this off without crushing the receiver, so we’d prefer you don’t try this one for anal sex. Any time you do try anal, always use “a generous helping of lubricant for a smooth glide [and] go slowly and gently to avoid tearing the delicate skin of the anus,” says Annabelle.
For a less strenuous version of the position, consider using a sex swing to hold the giver’s feet up in stirrups. Swings make all sorts of positions and sensations possible!
“If you’re brave enough to try The Helicopter out, avoid going straight for hard and fast thrusts. Start with slow movements to avoid knocking yourself off balance and be mindful that your thrusts will look a little more like rocking backwards and forwards, rather than doing mini push ups,” says Annabelle.
The Split Dancer
It's exciting and romantic but, if you’ve not got Olympic athlete levels of flexibility, this position might not be in your repertoire... It’s also tricky if there’s a big height difference between you.
“As long as you’ve got good balance, and your partner can get a good grip on you, your biggest risks include pulled muscles, cramp, or strained joints,” says Annabelle. What could go wrong?!
If you’re already confident in your ability to do the splits, you might enjoy the novelty and passion of this position. Just be sure to limber up beforehand – pulled muscles and sudden cramps are one hell of a mood killer.
Start by facing each other, standing up. The receiver raises their leg up, up, up, until it sits on their partner’s shoulder – balancing completely on the other leg.
It’s then up to the giving partner to do most of the work from here. Once inside, start with gentle thrusts. Squeeze your partner’s butt as you help them balance on one leg, or rest them gently against a wall.
If you’ve both given the green light to anal play, try swirling a finger around the receiving partner’s anus. Slipping anal beads in and out of their butt could feel incredible here too.
“You might be tempted to do your best Prima Ballerina impression, but be careful not to over-extend yourself by trying to get into or maintain this position,” warns Annabelle. You can always try wrapping one leg around your partner’s hip instead.
Sources
All statistics mentioned in this article are from our survey of 2,014 adults in the UK (May 2022).
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