chipNroll's review of Lovehoney 5 Function Whisper Bullet Vibrator

Discreetness is very important to me so I was keen to try this little bullet and was excited when it slipped through my letterbox one morning. The packaging is simple and minimalist- not tacky or bulky at all.

Popping the bullet out of the packaging I immediately loved how soft to touch it felt- luxuriously smooth and silky. It's very small (I can conceal it in my fist) but is given a nice bit of weight and bulk by the 'ball' at the end, so it didn't feel too flimsy. The batteries are included so I simply slipped out the paper disk and away I went.

A simple click of the button and it starts off on one of the five pattern vibrations. I'm not usually a fan of pattern vibrations but I actually found some of these ones to be great and didn't even get round to the constant vibration the first few times I used it! The vibrations are strong and powerful yet vary in intensity- which I found to be pleasant and give an amazing build up.

Now, does it live up to its name? When I first switched it on I was a little disappointed, as it didn't seem to be that quiet at all. But in the name of science I tried leaving it on my bed and then standing outside my room with the door shut (the things we do eh) and voila, it did the trick. I honestly couldn't hear a thing. Perhaps I am just too paranoid. However I now use it safe in the knowledge that it can't be heard from outside the room

This is a perfect little bullet if you want something small and discreet that still packs a punch. I also found it did wonders if slipped inside my underwear, especially on the alternating pulse settings. Knee-trembling hands-free fun!

My only gripe would be that you have to cycle through all 5 patterns (by clicking the button 5 times) to switch it off. Either that or unscrew the top. A quicker way to shut it down and it would be perfect.