Guide to Anal Sex for Beginners

by Lovehoney

on 2 May 2017

Many of our first-time anal sex experiences are accidental or ill prepared for at best, giving a poor first-time impression of all things anally sexual. Many couples don’t tend to talk about anal play and as individuals, we’re often quick to write it off, especially if we’ve had a bad experience in the past.

These self-imposed taboos mean that scores of us are missing out on the joy of anal sex and the pleasure that both men and women experience through anal penetration.

This first-time anal sex guide will talk you through anal experimentation and anal penetration, helping you to progressively experiment both alone, with a partner or with anal sex toys to achieve a satisfying anal sex life.

Video: Thinking about trying anal sex for the first time? Jess and Sammi tell you everything you need to know about first-time anal penetration in this video.

Step 1 - Get Clean


It goes without saying that if you're sexually stimulating an area that's usually devoted to pooping, you will need to ensure that your anus is squeaky clean. Have a relaxing bath beforehand and thoroughly clean the area. Many anal sex beginners like to use an anal douche to guarantee complete and utter cleanliness, and it's something we highly recommend too.

If you're conscious about your lover seeing your anus in full for the first time, why not gently shave or wax the skin between your butt cheeks to make sure they're porn-flick worthy? You'll be surprised how much more relaxed and confident this will make you.

Step 2 - Use Lube

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Don't even think about attempting any form of anal penetration without using some form of lubricant. There's a raft of great lubes available for you to buy but the best ones are the thick, specially formulated anal lubricants.

Try Lovehoney Discover Water-Based Anal Lubricant - it's a thick lube designed to make anal sex comfortable and painless and is water-based, so it's compatible for use with condoms and sex toy

Step 3 - Start Small

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If this is your first time trying anal sex, it makes sense to start off by using your lover's fingers or a beginner's butt plug. Something like the BASICS Slimline Butt Plug is perfect.

Using a small toy prior to play warms up the area, familiarises your anus with the feeling of penetration and helps to relax the muscles. You lover should start by lubing up the plug or their finger and start off with the tip, then gently work their finger or plug in until it is submerged.

You should continue to do this with up to three fingers or by going from a smaller to a larger butt plug, but only if you're still feeling comfortable and pleasured. Don't forget to use lube on each finger you insert.

If and when you're ready, you can move up to larger insertables, such as a dildo or a penis. Just remember to take your time, and keep any thrusting slow, and gentle. You may decide you like it harder or faster later, but for now, keep things simple while you find what you like.

Step 4 - Clean Up


After each time you've finished having anal sex, make sure that you thoroughly clean your anus and the toy or body part used to penetrate you. A good wipe with Lovehoney Fresh Biodegradable Sex Toy & Body Wipes should leave you feeling fresh again, but a quick shower with your lover is even better.

If you used any toys, remember to give them a thorough clean with soap and water or a sex toy cleaner and store them seperately once dry.

Explore Lovehoney's Top Anal Toys


Written by Lovehoney. For collaborative posts between Lovehoney team members and guest authors
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Originally published on 2 May 2017. Updated on 5 Aug 2020