Whether it's you or a loved one that's affected by cancer, this page is here to offer expertise and support when it comes to sexual wellness.

Sexual wellness is a vital part of overall your wellbeing no matter what health challenges you're facing. But there are thousands of people affected by cancer across the UK who are suffering in silence*.

That’s why Lovehoney have partnered with Macmillan Cancer Support – to create a space where conversations about sex and cancer can be open, supportive, and informative.Together, we aim to reduce stigma around the topic and provide information and resources to help you maintain a healthy and fulfilling sex life during and after cancer treatment.

How cancer impacts your sex life

Your sex life doesn’t end with a cancer diagnosis, but it might not be the first thing that your cancer team focus on. This can leave many people feeling unsupported and worried about the physical and emotional changes that cancer and its treatment can have. Common problems include fatigue, pain, hormonal changes, and body image concerns. Treatments like chemotherapy, radiotherapy, and surgery can lead to side effects such as vaginal dryness, problems with erections, and low sex drive (libido), which all take their toll. Understanding these changes is the first step towards managing them.

Talking to your partner

It’s essential to have open and honest conversations with your partner, but being open about sex isn’t always easy. Here are some useful tips:

• Be honest – Don’t be afraid to share your fears, concerns, and needs, as it can help to build understanding and intimacy. If you find it difficult to talk in more intimate moments, perhaps try chatting about your sex life in a different environment, to take the pressure off. For example, while you are out on a walk, in the car, or wherever you feel most comfortable.
• Be patient – Both you and your partner may need time to adjust. It is perfectly fine to take things slowly, and it also normal for you both to feel different emotions. Try to stay open to each other's views, fears, needs and experiences as you navigate the journey together
• Find out more together – Check out the sex and cancer information at Macmillan Cancer Support. Our Macmillan storytellers have shared their own unique experiences of sex and cancer, to help get you talking about sex.
• Get support – Remember, you are not alone! You and your partner can speak to a counselor, or you can join a support group to meet people who are going through the same thing.

Safety first

If you decide to have sex during cancer treatment, it is important to prevent pregnancy and to protect yourself and any partners from sexually-transmitted infections.

• Preventing pregnancy – Some cancer treatments can be harmful to an unborn baby – for example, chemotherapy and radiotherapy. During your treatment and for a time after, it is important to use contraception if you or a partner could become pregnant. Some cancer treatments can make oral contraceptives, like the pill, less effective. It is always best to talk to your cancer team about which contraception is the right one for you.

• Protecting partners –Small amounts of chemotherapy or other drugs can get into your discharge or your semen. To protect your partner(s), your cancer team will usually advise that during treatment and for a few days after certain drugs, you use condoms for vaginal or anal sex. You should also use a dental dam for oral sex.

• Protect yourself – On the days after some cancer treatments, you may be at an increased risk of infection or bleeding. Macmillan has more information on how you can protect yourself if you have sex during this time, such as avoiding oral sex if you have cuts or sores in your mouth. Lovehoney also has guides on how to clean sex toys and how to use condoms and dental dams.

Find out more information about sex and cancer on Macmillan's YouTube channel

Meet our experts

• Sarah Mulindwa, Lovehoney Expert in Sexual Wellness and Registered Sexual Health Nurse
• Richard Simcock, Macmillan Chief Medical Officer
• Helen Addis (from The Titty Gritty)

Sarah Mulindwa's tips on dealing with your changing body

Vaginal discomfort

A common side effect of treatment for some types of cancer is vaginal narrowing and dryness. There are different ways you can manage this. You can use lubricant and dilators, as they can help the vagina remain supple and ease discomfort. If you would like to try dilators, here are some top tips:

• Talk to your cancer team – If you have vaginal discomfort, you may be a little anxious about trying dilators. Before you get started, be sure to talk to your cancer team about whether using dilators will work for you.
• Start small – Begin with the smallest size and gradually increase over time. Patience is key though - it won’t be an overnight solution, and it will take time.
• Use lubricant – Apply a generous amount of water-based lubricant to the dilator to ease any friction.
• Go slow – always put the dilator into your vagina gently. Remember, using a dilator should not be painful. If you do have pain, then you should stop and talk to your cancer team, GP or practice nurse for advice.
• Use them regularly – Managing cancer alongside daily life can be overwhelming, so it’s understandable if sex is not your main focus. But if you do want to use dilators, it’s helpful to use them regularly. Talk to your cancer team about how often you should use them in your situation.
• If you don’t want to use dilators – There are other ways to try and help vaginal narrowing. You could try using your fingers with plenty of lube. Some people may prefer an insertable vibrator or dildo.

Erectile dysfunction

Treatment for prostate cancer can impact your ability to get an erection. This is known as erectile dysfunction. There are several things that can help with this, such as using a penis pump, which can help with erectile dysfunction by increasing blood flow to the penis. Many men also find that they can get an erection firm enough to have sex when using a penis pump. If you would like to try a penis pump, follow these tips below:

• Talk to your cancer team – If you have problems getting an erection, you may be a bit worried about trying a penis pump, as there can sometimes be side effects such as bruising or bleeding. This may not be suitable depending on whether you are still having treatment. Before you get started, talk to your cancer team about whether using a penis pump is right for you.

• Lubricate – Use a water-based lubricant around the base to ensure a good seal.

• Pump slowly – Follow the instructions carefully. Once you have attached the pump, pump slowly to create a vacuum, drawing blood into the penis. Some pumps are manual and some are automatic, so be sure to read the instructions and if you're uncertain, talk to your cancer team.

• Use a constriction ring (cock ring) – It can sometimes help to use a cock ring to maintain the erection, as it can slow the blood flow to the penis, and may potentially make erections harder and last longer. Some penis pumps will come with their own ‘constriction’ or cock rings, which transfer from the mouth of the penis pump to the base of the penis once removed to maintain the erection.

• If you don’t want to use a penis pump – There are other ways to help with erectile dysfunction. There are medicines that can be prescribed by your cancer team or GP.

Lubricants and cancer treatment

During and after cancer treatment, lubes are your best friend, but it's very important to know what’s what when it comes to that all important slick-factor. Avoid any products with glycerin, parabens, or added fragrances, as they can cause irritation. Instead, you should go for lubricants like these ones:

• Water-Based Lubricants – these are ideal for those with sensitive skin and are compatible with all sex toys.

• PH-neutral Lubricants – Any lubricant you use should be PH-neutral, so make sure to check with your cancer team or GP on which ones are safe to use.

Boosting confidence and exploring self-pleasure

A cancer diagnosis may impact your sense of self. It's also natural for changes to your body image to affect your confidence. If you're not feeling yourself, here are a few things you can try:

• Self-pleasure – Exploring self-pleasure can help you understand what feels good and regain some confidence. It's important to treat yourself to some relaxing me-time. You can light some candles, set the scene and experiment. You may also want to try some erotic stimulus to help get you in the mood, from reading an erotic story to exploring your deepest fantasies.
• Start simple – Begin with small, discreet sex toys like bullet vibrators or finger vibrators. You may also like to try clitoral stimulator toys, some of which use Pleasure Air technology to gently stimulate the clitoris. This can feel less invasive than a toy that you insert, especially if you have just had treatment.
• Talk to a friend or loved one – A problem shared is a problem halved, so don’t be afraid to talk about how you feel with a close friend, partner or relative.
• Resources that help – There is help and support available at Macmillan. You can check out the sex and cancer information at Macmillan Cancer Support. Our Macmillan storytellers have shared their own unique experiences of sex and cancer to help get you talking about sex. You can also call the Macmillan helpline on 0808 808 000 and talk to one their cancer information specialists.

Information and support

We’re here to help you navigate this journey with compassion, understanding, and practical advice. We want to make the conversation louder and break the stigma around sex and cancer together. We do recognise though that everyone’s experience with cancer is unique.

The information provided here is general, and it's important to talk to with your cancer team or GP about your individual situation. You can also call the Macmillan helpline for further information and support.

"Research by Macmillan Cancer Support found that almost a quarter (23 per cent) of people with cancer in the UK – equivalent to around 700,000 people – have serious concerns about sex, loss of libido or fertility as a result of their diagnosis or treatment*.

*Macmillan Cancer Support/YouGov survey of 2,099 adults in the UK who have had a cancer diagnosis (January 2024).