Got a bit of a sloppy style? Show your partner that you can polish up with this tuxedo temporary tattoo. Stand on occasion and declare with pride: 'The name's Schlong. James Schlong. Licence to thrill'. Smiley face on the glans and martini are optional.

Each Cockatoo measures 5.5 inches in length and is designed to sit below the glans (head). Cockatoos can be trimmed for the best fit.

To apply:

Rid yourself of any pubic hair from root to shaft.
Wash and dry yourself.
Get hard.
Place tattoo next to shaft for sizing and cut design if needed.
Remove clear backing, taking care not to touch the design, and gently place on the top side of your shaft.
Do not squeeze the tattoo into place yet - it will lightly stick.
Cover the back of the tattoo with a wet wash cloth, ensuring the whole transfer is covered.
Slowly wrap your hand around the wash cloth and tattoo, forming it to your member.
Do not move or shift the tattoo once it is wet as it may tear.
Wait for 30 seconds.
Remove the towel and slowly lift off the wet paper backing.
Admire.

Cockattoos are easily removed with baby oil followed by a thorough wash.