1. This Is What It Would Look Like If Your Favourite Works of Literature Were Erotica

    Fifty Shades of Grey.

    Lady Chatterley's Lover.

    Sex with My Husband's Anatomically Correct Robot.

    Whatever the title of your favourite erotica, we can agree that there truly is something out there for everyone - and yes, that last one really is a thing.

    But imagine if Homer had turned his hand to writing bonkbusters instead of epic poetry? Or Charles Dickens suddenly had a revelation about what rhymes with 'cities'?

    In this extensive (and irreverant) list of 30 literary favourites, we look at the titles that our best-loved authors could have used had their prose taken a turn for the kinkier.

    Lovehoney's 5 Best Valentine's Playlists

    When it comes to planning your sexy Valentine's evening, getting the setting right can be the difference between mind-blowing and mundane.

    Scented candles? Check. Clean sheets? Done. Sexy playlist? Hang on.

    Sure, it's easy enough to throw on your most-played tracks or your favourite 'Bangers 2017' , but you just can't trust that Spotify algorithm - no one needs to hear Call Me Maybe mid-coitus.

    (Not that there's anything wrong with that song getting you hot under the collar, of course - different strokes for different folks and all.)

    But not all sexy soundtracks are created equal, and everyone's definition of the perfect provocative playlist is different. So that's why we've created not one, not two, but five different sexy Valentine's playlists.

    From super-slow seduction tracks, to love-making ballads, to throbbing guitar riffs, we've got a playlist for every taste and occasion - and you can give them all a listen here.

    Are there any tunes that we missed? Which is your favourite playlist? Let us know in the comments below!

    WIN A Lavish Break to Bath and Our 2018 Sex Toy Advent Calendar!

    If you’re one of those mega-organised people who had your Valentine’s Day plans mapped out back in October, then we salute you.

    But if you’re still umming and ahhing about the best way to treat that someone special this Valentine’s Day, then we think we’ve got just the thing.

    We’ve teamed up with Bath Boutique Stays to offer you and your partner a chance to stay in the super-luxurious Mr Darcy’s Abode in the centre of beautiful Bath. Does it get more romantic than that?

    Well, yes, it does, because we’re also throwing in one of our best-selling Wild Weekend couple’s kits for good measure.

    To enter, all you have to do is answer a few short questions on our survey here, and leave your email address at the end for a chance to win this amazing prize.

    Christmas Cock Bells

    From 'spider condoms' to 'parrot sale in India', we've had some pretty weird and wonderful searches on the Lovehoney website in the past year.

    Our top 101 searches left tears in the eyes of everyone at Lovehoney HQ, while our spooky Halloween edition caused a few shivers (not to mention raised eyebrows).

    So what better way to celebrate the holiday season than with a round-up of our favourite unique Christmas search terms?

    From typos, to very niche product requests, to copy-and-paste gone awry, we've rounded up 52 of our favourites to tickle your festive funny bone.

    All together now: "jingle boils, jingle boils, Christmas launderette..."

    halloween-shop-lingerie-costumes

    We're over halfway through October, which can mean only one thing: Halloween is almost here!

    And whether you've been counting down the days since last November 1st, or you're locking the doors and hunkering down to avoid trick-or-treaters, one thing's for sure: the internet is brimming with sexy Halloween costume possibilities.

    We've packed our new Halloween shop full of flirty costumes and spooky-style toys, but how can a night associated with ghouls, ghosts, and wee demon beasties be erotic?

    We're glad you asked.

    Here, we've collected our favourite Halloween-esque role play scenarios to take your night from frightful to delightful (without a drop of fake blood in sight).

    Don’t forget, before any role play, it’s always a good idea to agree on a safe word with your partner so that if things get too intense, you can cease play immediately.

    WIN A Lavish Break to Bath and Our 2018 Sex Toy Advent Calendar!

    **COMPETITION NOW CLOSED**

    Ah, Bath. Georgian architecture, Roman recreation, and... sex toys?

    The beautiful city of Bath is known for many reasons, but our personal favourite (obviously) is that it's the home of Lovehoney HQ.

    And now, we're offering you and your partner the chance to win a luxury 2-night stay at Mr Darcy's Abode in the heart of the city with Bath Boutique Stays - as well as one of our Best Sex of Your Life sex toy advent calendars!

    Last year's version of the calendar was an immediate hit and we sold out almost instantly. The 2018 version is packed full of even more of the good stuff for him, her, and them, including all-new toys, cult favourites, and a few new twists on the pleasure products you know and love.

    All you have to do to be in with a chance of winning this super-swanky prize package is answer a few short questions about our sexy advent calendar collection by clicking here.

    For more details on how to enter, just read on.

    Learn the Latest Way to Sext With the Brand New Emojis

    We're always looking for fun new ways to communicate our desires to our partners, so when the news came that a whole heap of brand new emojis were being released, we couldn't wait to find out what Twemoji 11.0 had in store.

    And the results certainly opened up some interesting sexting opportunities.

    From abacuses to woozy faces, the latest emoji collection really allows you and your partner to get creative with your communication.

    To get you started, we've picked out some of our favourite new emojis, and translated them into some sexy phrases that'll bring some spice to your Snapchat stories.

    Got that emoji fever? Don't forget to check out our all-new Oh-Moji range of mini wand vibrators - they're completely heart-eyes-face.

    How Lube Will Change Your Sex Life

    If you're at university and want to know more about how to have the best sex you possibly can, we've got some brilliant news for you.

    UNI:SEX, our brand new e-book that's all about making the most of your sex life, is now free to download for all students. And who doesn't love a freebie?

    "But what could it tell me about sex that I haven't already learned myself?" I hear you cry.

    Well, inside, you'll find 42 pages brimming with answers to real-life student sex dilemmas, information on how to improve foreplay, boost your bedroom confidence, and tips on everything from great first-time anal to which sex toy you should try next.

    There's also a foreword from sex-talk dynamos, Florence and Reed from Come Curious - and when it comes to sex, they tell it like it is!

    Intrigued? Just click here to claim your free e-book today.

    Sex Toys That Could Be Star Wars Props

    If you haven't already guessed, we're a bit Star Wars crazy here at Lovehoney - and as today is officially Star Wars Day (May the 4th - geddit?), we're slightly excited.

    We were even more excited when we were browsing the website and discovered that some of our best-selling toys wouldn't look out of place in the movies' props department.

    So in honour of one of the most successful franchises in cinematic history, we've put together a rogue(one)'s style gallery of our favourite sci-fi-style dildos, look-a-like lingerie, and bondage bedroom goodies.

    Are there any that we've missed? Be sure to let us know via holoprojector (or just by dropping us a comment below if your tech's not quite up to snuff).

    May the Fourth be with you, horny nerds.

    Royal Wedding Markle Sparkle Finger Ring

    Unless you've been living under a rock since November, you'll be well aware that on the 19th May, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are tying the knot at Windsor Castle. Hooray!

    So, of course, we're celebrating in true Lovehoney style with a pair of highly unusual Royal Wedding rings.

    The Markle Sparkle Vibrating Finger Ring (pictured here) and the Royal Wedding Love Ring make the perfect sex toys for any nookie-loving newlyweds or ardent Royalists.

    As featured in The Daily Mail, Bustle, The New York Post, and The Sun (to name but a few), these tongue-in-cheek gold and silver souvenirs contain brilliantly buzzy bullet vibrators to bring extra-orgasmic tingles during any wedding night foreplay.

    To get your hands on this strictly limited edition duo before they're all gone, and find out more about Lovehoney's link with royalty, just keep reading.

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