What's the most interesting part…
1. Reading about what US comedy website Cracked considers to be the 25 Most Disturbing Sex Toys
2. Seeing how many of them are sold at Lovehoney
3. Realizing how many of them I actually own?
I don't know, perhaps I've just gotten jaded, but I don't see how a vibrating tongue can be disturbing - but then I spend most of my time pondering what they can do with such a toy to make it more tongue-like, so perhaps I have the wrong mind-set. I will say, though, that at least a few of the toys listed in their article are highly rated, like the I Rub My Duckie vibrator.
I'm not sure where one can go about buying the Orca dildo, but perhaps if you dropped the buyers at Lovehoney an email…? I won't tell. However, if you saw something on the list that caught your eye, here is where you can find some of the Lovehoney equivalents:
Just when I thought I would sneak off Lovehoney without needing to buy anything, I stumble across this gorgeous little guy hiding out in the New Vibes section.
I just can't say no to something that looks to be an improvement on classic vibes, and this definitely looks to be.
ToyJoy is one of the best companies out there and you always know you're going to get quality toys with them, so half the sales pitch is done for me before I even look at the features - but even if it wasn't, just look at him!
Two probes in addition to the main shaft mean you're getting vibrations everywhere you're going to want them, it's submersible (great for those of us who like to disappear into a Lush bath for an hour or a week), and the colours are so gorgeous I'm thinking it will have to be left out for everyone to see.
One review has already come in and it looks like a winner:
It's a great colour, orange but with a hint of pink through it and it looks fab. It's perfectly shaped to hit all the spots at once, easy push button on the base with four different functions (continuous buzz, fast on/off buzz, slow on/off buzz and buzzes in threes.) Great!!! It's waterproof (added bonus) and pretty quiet! The clit stimulator hits the right spot and the anal probe can be inserted or left ] so it just tickles the end. The vibe can also be switched around and I found the vaginal bit was also great for anal!! Really soft material, well made, but just the right amount of firmness! Only takes two batteries too! Pretty easy to clean as well! This is recommended!
If you were wanting to add a little Easter treat to your basket, this might be the one for you. I know I'm going to go and add it to my wish list now.
In general, I'm not one for an anal lube that has any desensitising agent in it - I would far prefer that you take your time, relax, and ease into anal play. And I would still remind you that if you use a product that numbs you a bit, you need to be extra aware of everything that is going on with yourself and your partner, as it will less easy to notice any damage that is going on.
That said, however, Golden Girl Anal Jelly is getting such great reviews that I really do have to mention it here, I think.
With four reviews and a five star rating, this is definitely a lube that is working for some people. You can see all of the reviews here at Orgasm Army, but here are some of the highlights:
I make no promises that the shown Durex Ribbed Condoms are, in fact, the best in the world (in all honesty, this is one of the condoms that divides opinions between love and hate), but since I like them and I write the blog, I choose the picture. Them's the rules.
If you want a slightly more democratic selection, though, an old forum topic on what the members consider to be has woken back up - and for those of you out there looking to change condoms, or who aren't sure which to choose first, it is a plethora of useful insight.
Some of these condoms that are getting rave reviews I've never even tried, so there is always something to be learned.
From the forum:
The Metro published an article on the rising trend of women to set up NSA (No Strings Attached) sexual assignations.
Their stats came from a study released by the internet dating site Dating Direct (of course, one could wonder at what sort of bias would be involved in such a business doing the 'study', but let's just run with it, yes?), who made the 1-in-3 claim for single women.
While some say it is a liberating thing, as women clearly have equal sex drives to men (individual men and women may vary, naturally), others question if it will end badly.
Fears of over-attachment, being considered "easy", and personal safety are all issues to be considered.
But with the right attitude and precautions? Could be convenient, well-informed fun (can you imagine the sheer joy of being able to tell a guy upfront what you need in bed and having that be a basis of whether or not you go to bed with him, rather that hoping for the best with the guy you like? It's like ordering a burger at Burger King):
After being nominated for an Academy Award and getting accolades from most critics (there were a few floating around who just hated it - nothing like a good room-dividing movie, no?), Lars and the Real Girl is opening across the UK on March 21. For those of you who know your sex dolls, "the Real Girl" in the title doesn't refer to an actual human being, but instead to one of those hyper-realistic, life-sized playthings called a Real Doll (see what they did there with the real "doll" versus "girl"? Clever, huh?).
Lars and the Real Girl is supposed to be a bit of a tragedy and a bit of a comedy, following a town's attempt to pretend that a shy guy's Real Doll is his actual girlfriend to help him over his… you know what? Just go watch the film. I'm not sure how anyone manages to sum up this film without sounding hokey about it. If the film gives you ideas, though, you can start out a little easier than the multiple thousands of pounds that the Real Doll costs and see how you get on with Lovehoney's much softer version, the Teddy Babe Plush Sex Doll.
There are two reviews (she's bringing in a very healthy 4.5 stars) on the products page that also offer some helpful tips on loosening her limbs and stretching her… bits for comfort, so make sure you take a look so you know what has worked for other users. You also might want to take a look over at Orgasm Army and see the forums for other hints and suggestions.
Cock cages are on discussion over in the forums at Orgasm Army and anyone who has ever questioned what happens if the man starts to get hard while contained within one might want to take a look.
Lieutenant Crayola poses the question:
Answer a question. The bloke and I were flicking through a catalogue, and came to the male chastity devices like these, but more solid looking. (can't find one on Lovehoney) He was sure that should someone get an erection in one, it'd snap their cock.
Anyone want to prove him wrong?
(PS - not thinking of getting one at all, cos it's not really our kinda thing. Just curious)
There has been a plethora of kits showing up on Lovehoney lately, but normally I have to pass on them because I own at least one item contained within (what? that's normal, right? RIGHT? I may have too many toys… ), but this one has caught my eye. This is pretty much everything you could ever want for a beginner-to-intermediate bondage play - and everything that is more common is something that you can hardly ever have too much of (hello, Bondage Tape and Hot Wax).
It has the more easy going items, like the blindfold and the feather tickler, but then takes it up a notch or three with the 22 inch Cat O'Nine Tails and ball gag. I'm thinking there is pretty much going to be something in here for everyone - and I can't be the only one curious about what a "Do It Doggie Harness" is…*
It all comes contained in what might be the most discreet sex toy bag ever - you can rest easy knowing that if anyone recognises the logo on the bag, it is because they've got a bit of the kink themselves. No one has reviewed this item yet, so you'll have to let me know if it lives up to expectations.
* Y'all didn't think I would really not check on what an item was before posting about it, did you? Shame on you - a Doggie Harness is a position strap that helps you… take control of your movements. You can see a similar Sportsheets I Like It Doggie Style Strap model here. Check out the I Like It Doggie Style Strap video - that narrator always cracks me up because she sounds like she is about to start laughing with the jolliness that is sex toys.
Oh, I'm in love. How sexy is this little guy? I just stumbled across the Marvellous Anchor 3-Point G-Spot Vibrator while I was looking to see if there was anything new in the Vibrators section (what? a girl can surely never have too many new toys? at least I hope not…) and I followed the similar toy links to find this little buddy. I have yet to order my own three-prong toy, but this one might convince me.
One of the things I haven't liked about previous models is that they tended to be single speeds, and darnit, I like to be able to up the intensity as I go on. This one fits the bill nicely, with a multispeed controller connected by a wire. It is also "realistic feel" which I love - as much for playing with them at my desk as for when I actually use them, if I'm honest with you. So squishy!
After three reviews, it is still maintaining a four and a half star rating, so I'm thinking it is well worth the price:
There is an interesting discussion going on in the Orgasm Army forums on the acceptability of wearing sex toys while out in public. With the coming (heh) of toys like the VibraExciter and the VibraExciter for Men, getting off or at least getting phenomenally aroused while you're out in town has never been so easy. But while people tend to give a blush and a twitter when considering a couple using such toys to spice up their sex life, people can feel a little ooky when considering a man using these toys on his own - especially when the toys are less vibrating and more insertable.
So what difference? It is still someone getting aroused in public… why does it seem seedier if it is a man alone, without a woman attached to the other end of his toy?
Captain Jezzer tries to tease out the differences:
Now there seems to be some people in the outside world who think wearing toys is only a good thing if its women doing it,it seems a lot of people say if a man is wearing one and he cums using one, it's a bit on the sick side etc.
It seems more acceptable for women to wear Toys and orgasm and get wet, but if it's a bloke doing it well it's a No-No.
What are your views??
There is some discussion on whether or not it turns 'pervy' if you're fantasizing about someone you can see while you're out, and whether or not it is rude to be interacting with other people while getting your rocks off. It's an interesting subject, when you start to peel back why some things are hot and some things unsettle you. The discussion continues, so head on over to the Army and join in.