Why Am I So Horny? The Causes of High Libido

Listen, we need to start by saying that there is no normal level of libido. And there are multiple factors that can influence how horny or not horny we may be feeling. These change from day to day, month to month and year to year, but they can also change in a split second.

What does being horny feel like?

How to make yourself horny

There are a few ways to make yourself horny, but what we all must remember is that sex starts in the brain. This means that when we start thinking about sex, we start preparing the body for sex too. So whether you’re listening to erotic literature or just thinking about a really great experience you’ve had, both will help you become more aroused.

However, sometimes we just aren’t feeling it, so nothing should ever be forced. Remember that if you’re hitting a bit of a block, take a break, get some rest and make sure all your mental and physical health needs are being met as best as possible.

In some instances it can be difficult to make yourself horny - for instance, if you’re taking SSRI anti-depressants. Don’t be hard on yourself if your interest in sex diminishes. There are plenty of other ways to feel pleasure without relying on masturbation or partnered sex. But we’ll get into that a little later.

Why do I feel hornier than usual?

There are so many things that can make us feel hornier than usual. Here’s why you might be feeling more arousal than you're used to:

1. Warm Weather

Warm weather, bouts of prolonged sunshine and spending time outdoors increases our dopamine and serotonin production. So, with an influx of happy hormones running through or system, it’s easy to see how the ‘feel-good’ can lead to feeling reeeaaally good.

2. High self-esteem

When we feel good about ourselves and confident in our bodies, our desire to engage in pleasureful sex with others and ourselves increases. Feeling desirable + body confidence = a good, horny time.

3. Hormones

If you have periods, you’re likely to go through cycles of feeling extra horny. Hormones have a high impact on libido. Right before the ovulation part of your cycle, known as the proliferative phase, you’ll experience surges in oestrogen as your womb lining begins to thicken in time for a potential fertilised egg to implant. We know, horny stuff. But during this time you’re likely to experience heightened desire for sex, masturbation and other forms of foreplay, like dirty talk or taking naked selfies. This is all completely normal and healthy, so enjoy it.

What to do when you’re horny

Create a masturbation routine

Whether it's for relaxation, pleasure, fun or as part of a sleep-hygiene routine, setting a masturbation schedule shouldn’t be sniffed at. Especially if you’re finding it hard to limit masturbation or if you're struggling with libido.

Start by choosing the time of day you’re most likely to be able to commit to on a consistent basis. This will make it easier to build habits and focus on an hour, maybe two - or even just half an hour, depending on your schedule.

Then think about how your ideal masturbation routine should look. From the reasons you want to masturbate, to the type of orgasm you want to create, and the reason behind needing this routine in the first place. Perhaps you need a little confidence shake-up to reconnect with your body, to sleep better, for pain relief (yes orgasms really are that powerful), for meditation or reflection - or to relieve frustrations, enjoy fantasy and explore new pleasure possibilities.

Once you have this in place, organise your schedule to accommodate this, and remember that this time is for you and your body to connect and enjoy some no-pressure fun. Don’t worry about placing orgasm and climax at the centre of the experience. Take your time and find what feels good for you. And if it turns out that climaxing once or maybe even twice and thrice isn’t a problem, this time will be something you can look forward to on a daily or weekly basis.

Remember that masturbation is not only totally normal but is entirely healthy.

Give yourself an erotic massage

Erotic massage is great between couples, but it’s also pretty fantastic when you’re going it alone. And just in case you weren’t sure, this is one surefire way to get horny, all by yourself.

Start by choosing a stunning massage-cum-lube oil, so if you decide to take the massage into masturbation, the product is safe and won't damage you or any toys you bring into the mix. Then, once you’ve prepared your body, maybe with a hot bath or by creating a comfortable room with scented candles, start massaging. Try soft touch to begin with, on arms and legs, then move to breasts or chest, increasing pressure where you want to feel held. Work your way to your genitals and use broad strokes, continual pressures and gentle squeezing. While you’re doing this, be sure to keep in contact with the rest of your body, your thighs, hips, stomach and feet. Take your hands on a journey across your body and find tenderness and appreciation for the time you’re taking to experience such an intimate and meaningful experience.

How to stop feeling horny