• Does Your Penis Have a Name? Take Our Poll - WIN a Cock Ring!

    Does Your Penis Have a Name? Poll

    Long Dong Silver, The Pleasure Pump or maybe even Thor. All guys have a name for their... little friend? Right?

    It's okay guys, you can admit it. Even super-cool Channing Tatum owned up to calling his man-pole Gilbert this week.

    So if you or your partner have ever had a pet name for your trouser snake, we want to know.

    Take the poll and, if you feel like sharing, write your willy's name in the comment section below*.

    We will pick a name at random to receive a Lovehoney Bionic Bullet Vibrating Cock Ring worth £14.99.

    You owe it to your penis really.

    *Dont worry, you can still enter even if you don't have a penis or if your penis doesn't have a name. Just leave a comment.

    The winner will be notified by email on Friday 19th June.


    Does your penis have a name?
    Yes - every penis deserves a name0%
    No - he shall remain nameless0%
    It used to have a name, many moons ago0%

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    Comments (135)

    • merlin o'doherty: June 18, 2015 14:35
      the one eyed python of love.
    • Laura: June 18, 2015 14:35
      Stealth
    • Marcel: June 18, 2015 14:40
      Mjölnir
    • kevin morley: June 18, 2015 14:40
      big bear
    • Roy: June 18, 2015 14:43
      Little Roy
    • Anonymous Lovehoney Staff Member: June 18, 2015 14:44
      I call my partner's penis 'Krull the Warrior King' - Like in the film, 'How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days'.

      Except when it's flaccid and then it's called 'winky'. Teeheehee.

    • Anonymous Lovehoney Staff "Member": June 18, 2015 14:45
      I have met two penises with names:

      Stanley
      Edward

    • Tracy: June 18, 2015 14:46
      Wanger or Donger
    • Lizzie: June 18, 2015 14:52
      No names!
    • Alex: June 18, 2015 14:55
      Nameless, I'm afraid, but commenting because he still likes rings :)
    • kt: June 18, 2015 15:03
      gustav
    • Bigboy_21: June 18, 2015 15:14
      The Gobstopper
    • Foxxy: June 18, 2015 15:14
      No names! They make me cringe
    • Sam: June 18, 2015 15:20
      My girlfriend calls mine Little Squirt... It's not okay
    • Oli: June 18, 2015 15:22
      Bill Ding
    • Battle Cat: June 18, 2015 15:29
      Used to be called "Normus", I rather liked that one.
      Nowadays he's referred to as The Botherer.
      My balls have been Lefticle and Righticle for ages now.
    • Pix: June 18, 2015 15:33
      No name - yet. Us Finns don't do that, or if some do, I have never heard of it. But maybe someday.
    • Doodles: June 18, 2015 15:38
      I call my fiances dinker or dinker boy, dont know why, just always have!
    • Andy: June 18, 2015 15:49
      Love Missile F1-11
    • lustyjoy: June 18, 2015 15:57
      Just plain old
      Cock
    • Danny: June 18, 2015 15:58
      Call mine Samuel Jackson because it's in everything
    • Ryan: June 18, 2015 15:59
      Atlas
    • Alex: June 18, 2015 15:59
      Terry
    • Josh BH: June 18, 2015 16:01
      He's called Troy, destroyer of villages. And has two humble sidekicks, Leroy Seedswell and Sir James Rockerfeller the 6th.
    • Luke: June 18, 2015 16:02
      Doesn't have a name, but maybe I'd call it Dick Dastardly if I did?
    • Vampiror: June 18, 2015 16:07
      The Prince because I have a Prince Albert
    • george: June 18, 2015 16:11
      Rear Admiral Sir Donald Gosling.
    • Ross: June 18, 2015 16:11
      Sir Digby Chicken Caesar
    • Eleanor: June 18, 2015 16:13
      I call my partner's penis "Big Mark"
    • delilahxx: June 18, 2015 16:17
      I'm not really bothered if it has a name or not, as long as it's not too bad!
    • Glenn Waldron: June 18, 2015 16:25
      One eyed trouser snake.
    • Petrichor: June 18, 2015 16:33
      Pan
    • Dean: June 18, 2015 16:34
      Little Dean - LD for short!!
    • Tami: June 18, 2015 16:39
      My Little Friend when it's soft, and
      Big boy when its hard
    • LittleSwitchBitch: June 18, 2015 16:55
      Just cock really... Like in convo I'll refer to it as him.. :)
    • Al: June 18, 2015 16:59
      Unnammed
    • drhds: June 18, 2015 17:08
      My OH calls his Jeffrey
    • Gee: June 18, 2015 17:14
      Justin
    • Dean: June 18, 2015 17:47
      My first girlfriend called it Mister.....
    • Silver Fox: June 18, 2015 17:50
      The Pleasure Pleaser
    • Melody: June 18, 2015 17:53
      I call my husband's Alabaster Master since I'm hispanic and he's white.
    • craig: June 18, 2015 18:09
      The Rock Because its always hard and it loves to wrestle the wifes tongue
    • Mike: June 18, 2015 18:36
      It
    • kittyondrugz: June 18, 2015 18:36
      His cock is nameless,unfortunately.
    • john: June 18, 2015 18:39
      My Mrs calls mine 'Dimply'
    • jim jones: June 18, 2015 18:51
      Templeton me pecker and b and a me knackers.
    • Classy lassie: June 18, 2015 18:55
      My OH calls his penis Persey pecker
    • Faireh: June 18, 2015 19:03
      Nameless!
      And, I also don't name *my* penises (as in my sex toys). Just...nah man.
    • grumpy bear: June 18, 2015 19:10
      No name. I'd find it weird if the wife gave it a name. Likewise if we named her bits.
    • Koh: June 18, 2015 19:32
      He calls his Freddie, but I call his penis the Beast.
    • Hannah: June 18, 2015 19:41
      Wilkins!
    • Phil: June 18, 2015 20:11
      The General...
    • carol ahmad: June 18, 2015 20:17
      "Mr Brown" because he's Middle Eastern.
    • Nasir Khanjar: June 18, 2015 20:21
      RPG..... Iraqi penis is VERY powerful.
    • Vincent wheatley: June 18, 2015 20:28
      Never have gave my penis a name. Bit like people who names there cars never done that either.
    • Louise: June 18, 2015 20:38
      Dexter
    • tray: June 18, 2015 21:53
      BIG T
    • AK1970: June 18, 2015 22:30
      No name but might as well be 'Harry' on account of it only being allowed out from under the stairs once or twice a year.
    • ninky: June 18, 2015 22:58
      I may get told off for saying, bt we call him "my widdle buddy"!
    • Never know: June 18, 2015 23:22
      I don't think my OH has a name for his but he calls it his "winky" a lot now I'm thinking about it. And no my OH is not 5! Haha
    • Anon LH staff forever!: June 18, 2015 23:32
      My partners is called squishy. That's literally all we will call it now!
    • Adam: June 18, 2015 23:40
      My girlfriend has taken to calling it, "oh god yes, right there". Rolls off the tongue I'd say. Pun very much intended.
    • Ken: June 19, 2015 00:03
      The Hammer of the Gods!!
    • Bobsy: June 19, 2015 00:05
      Jose - because he is the special one!
    • SexualSoulmates: June 19, 2015 00:21
      Optimus Prime
    • Fraser Smart: June 19, 2015 01:24
      The Great Wall; extremely long but extremely bendy and nobody's ever going to straddle it
    • Vanessa8: June 19, 2015 05:42
      The Gipper. My favorite name for his.
    • Toy Fan: June 19, 2015 05:43
      Cock when he is in the mood and 'him' or 'willy' when referred to at all other times.
    • Claire: June 19, 2015 06:22
      No name, at least not that's he's told me lol
    • Flying Smurf: June 19, 2015 07:48
      One of two names usually:
      - the little guy
      - purple Smurf
    • Sean: June 19, 2015 07:53
      My girlfriend calls him her pogo stick.
      As she enjoys bouncing up and down on him.....ride him cowgirl i say!!
    • Lovehoney - Sally: June 19, 2015 11:09
      A winner has been picked at random and... We're thrilled to announce that Glenn and his One Eyed Trouser Snake have won the Lovehoney Bionic Bullet Vibrating Cock Ring.

      Thanks to everyone who took part!

    • Amethyst: June 19, 2015 11:14
      Russell the muscle!
    • Cin: June 19, 2015 11:19
      I like having a friendly name to relate to. Anything but Big Boy would work. We kinda call his Fred. Yeah, he would kill me if he saw this. :)
    • Mykal: June 19, 2015 11:42
      Began as 'Alfie' (selfnamed) then over the years and via 4 exs hes changed to 'Mr Alfred Alfonzo Bigg', 'Alfie' for short lol ;)
    • Mick3184: June 19, 2015 11:59
      Sony - the PlayStation!
    • Secretty: June 19, 2015 12:03
      Colonel Fluffybuttons, fourth earl of Snifflypants, heir to the kingdom of Floppykins.
    • Phil Winstanley: June 19, 2015 12:22
      Girlfreind christened mine... Percy penguin
    • carl: June 19, 2015 12:23
      I call my genitalia from left to right , Tom Testi, Dick and Harry Testi 2 .lol
    • Damien: June 19, 2015 12:28
      Sir Lancelot, the brave
    • Michael: June 19, 2015 12:39
      Pepe
    • Fun Louise: June 19, 2015 14:12
      no he is nameless
    • luke: June 19, 2015 14:43
      Sergeant Wiltshire, and when erect Sergeant Wiltshire Standing to Attention :D
    • Julien: June 19, 2015 14:46
      The French Stick
    • Dave: June 19, 2015 14:52
      Never had a name boo hoo !
    • Tyrone: June 19, 2015 15:03
      I call mine dip stick cause.... Well i think you understand what i mean haha
    • Suzanne: June 19, 2015 17:53
      Honestly I have never named my partners penis. But looking at all the other names. Some good ideas :)
    • Jasmine: June 19, 2015 18:16
      Nameless, as my cock is of the glass variety, seems kind of... obsolete. But I know a certain someone who might be interested!
    • Nick: June 19, 2015 18:59
      Ever ready ??
    • Andrew: June 19, 2015 19:20
      No name...yet!! ;)
    • A W: June 19, 2015 22:43
      My boyfriend's penis is called Fernando... My vagina is called Fern to make a perfect match.
    • Wolf Simpson: June 20, 2015 00:56
      sshhh............ tis a secret, only those who play with him knows his name... ;-)
    • Tessa: June 20, 2015 17:57
      Hercules and Pugsy
    • toptom: June 20, 2015 20:10
      Mines called Galloping after Dick Turpin's horse.
    • Subdom27: June 20, 2015 22:48
      The Doctor
    • That twat over there: June 21, 2015 09:48
      The old chap is called Boris, and his two accompanying balls are the Johnsons.

      Boris & the Johnsons

    • K1nkyJJ: June 21, 2015 22:24
      Jenson
    • Boogaloo: June 21, 2015 22:57
      My partner's penis unfortunately doesn't have a name, sorry for the useless comment! :p
    • Jrok: June 22, 2015 04:36
      Wife has called it many things but not sure one can be considered a nick name
    • Pierced Heaven: June 22, 2015 14:38
      Horace, after Nelson.
    • Skot: June 22, 2015 15:40
      Pedro... The purple headed custard slinger!!
    • naughtymum: June 22, 2015 21:21
      My new partner's is called Harry...as in when Harry met sally!!??
    • Chris Wooster: June 23, 2015 09:44
      Little Miss Pinkie and her two ever so darling earrings
    • Sgt Horney: June 24, 2015 11:55
      We used to call him 'Al' ;-)
    • adam: June 25, 2015 11:43
      The chosen one
    • Benn: June 26, 2015 10:18
      Omega The Spirit of Treblinknee
    • James: June 26, 2015 12:24
      My wife calls mine SPUNKY.
    • kat: June 27, 2015 01:23
      winkle dinkle
    • Mark: June 27, 2015 17:03
      No is has no name my partner say give me a flash or flop it out
    • a dixon: June 28, 2015 08:32
      the snake
    • Gareth: June 28, 2015 22:39
      Mine used to be my Private but I promoted him to the Colonel due to valour in battle
    • Damian: June 29, 2015 13:40
      Russell the love muscle
    • MrHappy: June 29, 2015 14:26
      My Girlfirend calls mine MrHappy because he's alway happy to see her ;)
    • Pixie Coco: June 30, 2015 22:00
      It doesn't have an actual name, I prefer to go for the normal like meat stick, love rod, dingle dangly, pork sword, hammer of Thor, sex bat. You know, the standard sexy talk.
    • Pablo: June 30, 2015 23:41
      Rocket.
    • Arthur Dey: July 03, 2015 08:59
      I just call it hot thermometer
    • Paul: July 03, 2015 09:32
      Percy the park keeper with 2 friends Bil & Ben !
    • Rebecca: July 03, 2015 10:22
      I call my boyfriends Prince ;) because he stands noble ;)
    • Ruairi: July 03, 2015 12:03
      Cock, plain and simple
    • Edward: July 03, 2015 22:37
      Mines called Fred, he loves attention
    • Mick: July 04, 2015 00:05
      Mini Mick
    • Matt: July 04, 2015 16:31
      Mr Cunningham.
    • Mark: July 05, 2015 10:01
      The comedian.... As it always make my girlfriend laugh!!!
      In fact that has been been the general response......... Hmmmmmmm???
    • Jordan Brosnan: July 05, 2015 11:00
      No name, although my previous girlfriend liked to call it, 'Kevin'. I've never been sure why!? xD
    • Ian: July 05, 2015 11:16
      Mini me
    • Kozzatron: July 05, 2015 20:25
      SUBWAY!
      Because it's a foot long and tastes delicious ;)
    • Cantona76: July 05, 2015 21:32
      The thing
    • Buck Nekkid: July 06, 2015 19:46
      Old Reliable
    • MidRoad: July 12, 2015 16:34
      Mine is Patrick (after Patrick Star from Spongebob, long story), but I've heard my friend's is called Wallace, and another friend has his testicles named Lieutenant Lefty and Right-hand Man Righty.
    • pete c: July 14, 2015 12:08
      my wife calls mine a pain in the arse for some reason
    • feeney80085: July 23, 2015 00:39
      I call mine "The Emperor"

      Then I tell people I call him that because he's large, powerful and people bow before him :P

    • Nathan: August 03, 2015 20:35
      I was walking past a pub many moons ago and had to stop for a wee, as I was doing the business there was a sign in front of me displaying shiraz wine and ever since then he's been called Shiraz, also my testies are named harry, Larry and I've got a cyst in between them both and I named that which is called Barry, so I have in my pants Harry, Larry and Barry and Shiraz.
    • Greg: August 18, 2015 10:54
      I don't have a name for mine but I am thinking about giving it one. I have been using a penis extender and its getting bigger! Exciting times!
    • Michael: December 04, 2015 23:13
      Russell The sex Muscle ??
    • Michael: December 04, 2015 23:20
      And my penis has a split personality sometimes he likes to be called Orange Gina cos u have to shake it to wake it!!
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