1. Rushing into it.

A few pathetic fumbles to check if she’s wet does not make her ready for you to plunge on in. Unless you’re both fired up for a quickie, keep that penis away until you’ve paid some lip service and at least inserted some fingers to check she’s lubricated and ready for you.

Dare to do the clichés: Like chocolate body paint poured on and licked off. The reason why they’re clichés is because they’re often what people want to do, but are too scared to.

Start a ‘sex jar’: Each write down 10 things you’d like to try. Rip into separate points, fold and put all of them into a jar. Pick out one a week to try. (Insist on pre-approval if you think ‘lure the hot 18-year-old next door in for a threesome’ will simply be repeated by your partner.)

Send sexts: “I’ve been thinking about you inside me all day”; ‘If you want it right now, I’m in the upstairs bedroom’; ‘Remember when we did it on the beach? The kids are asleep….’ Or, when you’re feeling particularly horny (and they seem like they’d be receptive), ‘I want you to fuck me. Hard’.

Shave each other’s bits: It’s a laugh….and sexier than you think!

Have phone sex... from the other room. Call and tell them they have to do exactly what you say. Get them to go to the bedroom, take off their clothes, fondle themselves, lie down on the bed and start masturbating. Then walk in to finish the job for them.

Ready to shake up your sex life?

These ten positions from Tracey Cox 100 Hot Sex Positions are ideal for injecting new ideas this Valentine's Day.

From romantic to raunchy, comfortable to challenging, a new sex position is a great way to have a healthier, happier sex life with minimum effort on your part.

1. You need access to his testicles, anus and perineum as well as to be able to grasp the base of the penis and slide the other hand up and over. In other words, you need room. Also make sure you’re not at an angle where your hand’s going to end up in a weird position and get twisted or cramped.

1. Use the flat of your tongue, not the tip of it when you go down on her. Use the tip and your tongue will be knackered out in about five minutes. It feels too hard on her end (especially at the start) and if you flatten out your tongue as much as possible, it covers a bigger area and feels deliciously soft and squishy.

The real issue, I suspect, lies with your partner. I’m guessing she grew up in an environment where sex was seen as ‘dirty’ or shameful.

If you were totally satisfied with your ex, you’d be staying put and working at any problems, so you could avoid the stressful on-off-on-off pattern. Which leads me to another point: do you find it stressful or exciting? It might be the drama of the break up and get together that appeals.

If the roles were reversed and you were married to your younger friend and your husband was untried territory, I suspect he’d be more appealing.

It’s not particularly designed for long-term use. Instead, it’s supposed to get you to the stage where you can recognize the point of ‘ejaculatory inevitability’: when it’s all over bar the shouting.

Your husband has the right idea making moves now. He figures you’ve done all the hard work bringing up the kids, now it's your time to enjoy yourself. And what better way to enjoy yourself than to have sex!