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  1. masks or hoods

    1248874859
    dai [sign in to see picture]
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    have looked to see if there is any other threads like this, i couldnt see one so do apologise to the mod's if i did miss one already started.

    ok, lol here goes, me and my oh have been dabbling in dom/sub play. i am dom and have no problems taking up the roll, where as i have recently tried being the sub and have to say i loved it.

    the problem we have is that when i am being sub and the oh is being dom, when she looks into my eyes or at my face she looses the errrrrrrrrrrm how can i say the momentum and it all starts slowing down as she looses the will to treat me the way i want so much to be treated.

    so, i have thought of using a mask or hood, preferably something i can have a bit of vision with but not something that the oh can look into my eyes and melt. also sommat that dont look that scarey.

    so open to the board lol and look forward to any idea's fellow member's have,

    thanks dai

    1248875117
    TLA [sign in to see picture]
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    We just use a simple eye mask, like this:

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=15832

    It's cheap and it works for us. I'm not sure if you'll be able to get anything specific to allow partial vision, but how about a slightly see-through scarf?

    1248875420
    dai [sign in to see picture]
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    TLA wrote:

    We just use a simple eye mask, like this:

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=15832

    It's cheap and it works for us. I'm not sure if you'll be able to get anything specific to allow partial vision, but how about a slightly see-through scarf?

    thanks tla, i already have something like that, a travel mask from superdrug that does the whole blackout thing, u might be right about the partial sight, i was thinking os partial sight just to be able to see how hot the fun was or what the oh looked like doing it, cheers m8

    1248876668
    Lubyanka [sign in to see picture]
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    dai wrote:

    the problem we have is that when i am being sub and the oh is being dom, when she looks into my eyes or at my face she looses the errrrrrrrrrrm how can i say the momentum and it all starts slowing down as she looses the will to treat me the way i want so much to be treated.

    so, i have thought of using a mask or hood, preferably something i can have a bit of vision with but not something that the oh can look into my eyes and melt. also sommat that dont look that scarey.

    My experience with difficulties like this is that accessories such as sex toys or masks are unlikely to solve the issue, because in my experience, the issue is much less physical and more psychological. For a start, your partner is in charge, so any solutions really ought to be her choice. If she doesn't want to look into your eyes, then she can give you something like sunglasses or tie a silk scarf or a stocking or tights around your eyes, you can still see but less and more importantly, your eyes are obscured.

    However, eye gazing is really intimate and personal. If doing that leads to the scene stopping, I'd say that's an important signal which needs to be heeded.

    What you describe sounds like what I've heard called "top drop", when the top just loses the will to top and the scene has to stop. If this happens on a regular basis, either she should probably do something else in which she enjoys topping more, or else perhaps she should bottom for awhile if that's what she prefers. From your description, I'd guess that bottoming is really where her heart is at. Or else you might consider using a gag so you can't direct the scene from the bottom anymore, and then she can choose what she likes and prefers and wants, and maybe that will help her enjoy topping more.

    I hope that helped. Good luck.

    1248955785
    dai [sign in to see picture]
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    thanks for the advise, after looking for something that was hopefully see thru to a certain extent, we have given up on that idea and gone for :-

    http://www.extremerestraints.com/hoods-and-muzzles_21/premium-spandex-hood-with-mouth-opening_1426.html

    gives us the option then of still using my mouth and tongue if needed but also the fact i can be gagged if required

    1248963862
    KinkyWolf [sign in to see picture]
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    That looks like a decent hood *wanders off to find equivalent in latex*.

    1248966648
    dai [sign in to see picture]
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    KinkyWolf wrote:

    That looks like a decent hood *wanders off to find equivalent in latex*.

    cheer's

    down side is my oh is alergic to latex so have to be careful what toys and prop's we buy

    1257957800
    KittyPurry [sign in to see picture]
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    I have been have a discussion with my OH and he really likes masks, particularly the masquerade style...I on the other hand find them really quite frightening. I don't like that that the people behind them are hidden, I find that creepy. The masks tend to be quite grotesque too so the idea of being in a crowd of masked people is very nightmareish to me!

    Just wondering what other peoples thoughts are on masks? Anyone else not a fan? Anyone find them a huge turn on? Can anyone explain their feelings one way or the other?

    Keen to learn!

    xxKPxx

    1257958427
    Lubyanka [sign in to see picture]
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    KittyPurry wrote:

    I have been have a discussion with my OH and he really likes masks, particularly the masquerade style...I on the other hand find them really quite frightening. I don't like that that the people behind them are hidden, I find that creepy. The masks tend to be quite grotesque too so the idea of being in a crowd of masked people is very nightmareish to me!

    Just wondering what other peoples thoughts are on masks? Anyone else not a fan? Anyone find them a huge turn on? Can anyone explain their feelings one way or the other?

    Keen to learn!

    I agree, I find masks creepy, the face is such a human thing, for me hiding the face scares me into wondering what else could be back there behind the mask.

    Also, I remember one time a person had a mask on at a kinky club because they were paranoid about being recognised, and afterwards they complained that they were "made" to feel so uncomfortable that they had to take the mask off. But when I asked further, it turns out that nobody even said anything or even looked at them, so they must have just extended their paranoia to what other people were thinking when they weren't actually thinking it. I thought that blaming other people when they hadn't even done anything for their own choice to remove their mask was pretty creepy.

    And so I'm thinking another scary thing about masks is that the people behind them can abdicate all responsibility for anything they do, because they can do any shit they want and then say it wasn't them because they had the mask on hiding their identity.

    So yes, totally agree, masks can creep me out if they're deliberately used to

    • obscure identity
    • obscure humanity
    • abdicate responsibility

    On the other hand I've seen masks which I was fine with, which only covered the eyes like sunglasses and you could still see most of the face. I've made superhero masks like that for myself and kvetch using opaque tights and lining the cut out eye holes with clear glitter nail varnish and those don't creep me out at all.

    Does that help?

    1257959136
    SEXYGET 69 [sign in to see picture]
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    we've tried using masks and don't like them at all. I wear bandanas quite a lot and have got loads so we usually use them to blindfold with and tie up with. I'd rather be able to see who i'm fucking and where i'm sticking it! SG69 x

    1257959344
    KittyPurry [sign in to see picture]
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    Lubyanka wrote:

    KittyPurry wrote:

    I have been have a discussion with my OH and he really likes masks, particularly the masquerade style...I on the other hand find them really quite frightening. I don't like that that the people behind them are hidden, I find that creepy. The masks tend to be quite grotesque too so the idea of being in a crowd of masked people is very nightmareish to me!

    Just wondering what other peoples thoughts are on masks? Anyone else not a fan? Anyone find them a huge turn on? Can anyone explain their feelings one way or the other?

    Keen to learn!

    I agree, I find masks creepy, the face is such a human thing, for me hiding the face scares me into wondering what else could be back there behind the mask.

    Also, I remember one time a person had a mask on at a kinky club because they were paranoid about being recognised, and afterwards they complained that they were "made" to feel so uncomfortable that they had to take the mask off. But when I asked further, it turns out that nobody even said anything or even looked at them, so they must have just extended their paranoia to what other people were thinking when they weren't actually thinking it. I thought that blaming other people when they hadn't even done anything for their own choice to remove their mask was pretty creepy.

    And so I'm thinking another scary thing about masks is that the people behind them can abdicate all responsibility for anything they do, because they can do any shit they want and then say it wasn't them because they had the mask on hiding their identity.

    So yes, totally agree, masks can creep me out if they're deliberately used to

    • obscure identity
    • obscure humanity
    • abdicate responsibility

    On the other hand I've seen masks which I was fine with, which only covered the eyes like sunglasses and you could still see most of the face. I've made superhero masks like that for myself and kvetch using opaque tights and lining the cut out eye holes with clear glitter nail varnish and those don't creep me out at all.

    Does that help?

    I entirely agree!!! I'm glad it's not just me that finds them sinister! I know I'm fairly easily frightened (I jumped at Finding Nemo!) but beyond the obvious grotesqueness of masks I've always felt there was a lot more to my aversion.

    I'm also fine with the eye masks (I find the zoro/bandit style ones quite hot!) and it's definately because you can still see the person, nothing's hidden!

    Thank you for sharing your insights and managing to articulate far, far better than I could why masks freak me out so much!

    xxKPxx

    1257960183
    Lubyanka [sign in to see picture]
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    SEXYGET 69 wrote:

    we've tried using masks and don't like them at all. [...] I'd rather be able to see who i'm fucking and where i'm sticking it! SG69 x

    For sure, me too. :)

    1257960696
    Lubyanka [sign in to see picture]
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    KittyPurry wrote:

    Lubyanka wrote:

    KittyPurry wrote:

    I have been have a discussion with my OH and he really likes masks, particularly the masquerade style...I on the other hand find them really quite frightening. I don't like that that the people behind them are hidden, I find that creepy. The masks tend to be quite grotesque too so the idea of being in a crowd of masked people is very nightmareish to me!

    Just wondering what other peoples thoughts are on masks? Anyone else not a fan? Anyone find them a huge turn on? Can anyone explain their feelings one way or the other?

    Keen to learn!

    I agree, I find masks creepy, the face is such a human thing, for me hiding the face scares me into wondering what else could be back there behind the mask.

    Also, I remember one time a person had a mask on at a kinky club because they were paranoid about being recognised, and afterwards they complained that they were "made" to feel so uncomfortable that they had to take the mask off. But when I asked further, it turns out that nobody even said anything or even looked at them, so they must have just extended their paranoia to what other people were thinking when they weren't actually thinking it. I thought that blaming other people when they hadn't even done anything for their own choice to remove their mask was pretty creepy.

    And so I'm thinking another scary thing about masks is that the people behind them can abdicate all responsibility for anything they do, because they can do any shit they want and then say it wasn't them because they had the mask on hiding their identity.

    So yes, totally agree, masks can creep me out if they're deliberately used to

    • obscure identity
    • obscure humanity
    • abdicate responsibility

    On the other hand I've seen masks which I was fine with, which only covered the eyes like sunglasses and you could still see most of the face. I've made superhero masks like that for myself and kvetch using opaque tights and lining the cut out eye holes with clear glitter nail varnish and those don't creep me out at all.

    Does that help?

    I entirely agree!!! I'm glad it's not just me that finds them sinister! I know I'm fairly easily frightened (I jumped at Finding Nemo!) but beyond the obvious grotesqueness of masks I've always felt there was a lot more to my aversion.

    I'm also fine with the eye masks (I find the zoro/bandit style ones quite hot!) and it's definately because you can still see the person, nothing's hidden!

    Thank you for sharing your insights and managing to articulate far, far better than I could why masks freak me out so much!

    I'm completely difficult to frighten, one halloween I was gigging in Germany and before the gig, the bar manager snuck up behind me with a big monster mask on, and when his head was nearly on my shoulder, he said quietly in my ear "Hi".

    I turned around slowly and saw the mask, I smiled and waved cheerily and said "Hi!", and he was all disappointed cos he wanted to make me jump. On the other hand there are a lot of things about people which scare the bejasus out of me, like the way people just lie without a second thought, and say one thing and do another, and abuse and harass and bully and then pretend it was nothing to do with them. That kind of behaviour scares me shitless. But most other stuff I'm fine with, assholes, assholery, lions, tigers, bears, erect cocks, purple coquettes, you name it, bring it on! ;)

    But yes, masks and people who hide behind them, scary as fuck.

    (but scared or not, I still say bring it on!) :)

    1257961054
    DesignDude [sign in to see picture]
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    i like the idea of masks because i like the idea of hidden ideantity! Not because i intend to rob the local HSBC but because i'm not the most confident person in the world and somehow having no identity is easier than suffering the one i have!

    If noone can see your face they can't judge it! I kinda like the idea that a room full of people with masks means that other ways to gather information about the person would have to be explored, and everyone would get the same attention regardless of how attractive they were!

    i really like the idea of masquerade balls etc and love the mask designs that KP finds really disturbing! i just can't help it, i've always had a thing for them lol! I don't like the idea of them being involved in sex though, it just looks a bit too intimidating because of the exact 3 reasons lubyanka mentioned! Although like others a simple bandit mask wouldn't be as bad as you have some face on show and can atleast read some facial expressions!

    i would like to point out that i would find people in a masks a bit weird in the wrong setting! at a masked ball fine, walking about in public...not so much lol! I think everything has it's place and hidden identity in sex isn't one of them in my opinion!

    (well there's a point put across quite badly lol)

    1257969446
    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    I love masks, as long as eyes and mouths aren't hidden then I think they can look really sexy - particularly masquerade masks, but as others have said, if it completely covers the face then it can be a bit creepy.

    I like to cover my face during some sex activities (mainly when I'm receiving head) because I have a thing about being watched, but during full penetrative sex and when I'm giving head, I love to look into his eyes.

    Ax

    1257988712
    sweetlove666 [sign in to see picture]
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    i find masquerade masks very sexy. i like the erotisicm of a massive orgy where you don't know whos doing what to you.

    again that's just my fantasy and i can see why others would find it intimidating and scary

    1257989945
    SweetSubmission [sign in to see picture]
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    sweetlove666 wrote:

    i find masquerade masks very sexy. i like the erotisicm of a massive orgy where you don't know whos doing what to you.

    again that's just my fantasy and i can see why others would find it intimidating and scary

    Isn't there a scene much like this in Eyes Wide Shut?

    Masks and hoods and similar (oh my!) are not my cup of tea. I'm so turned on by seeing pleasure written on my partner's face, obscuring that in any way disappoints me a bit, but if it does it for you, then hurrah for that! Horses for courses and all.

    SS xx

    1257990310
    sweetlove666 [sign in to see picture]
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    SweetSubmission wrote:

    sweetlove666 wrote:

    i find masquerade masks very sexy. i like the erotisicm of a massive orgy where you don't know whos doing what to you.

    again that's just my fantasy and i can see why others would find it intimidating and scary

    Isn't there a scene much like this in Eyes Wide Shut?

    Masks and hoods and similar (oh my!) are not my cup of tea. I'm so turned on by seeing pleasure written on my partner's face, obscuring that in any way disappoints me a bit, but if it does it for you, then hurrah for that! Horses for courses and all.

    SS xx

    really? i havent seen that movie so i cant really say.

    i just like the idea of submitting to someone and whatever they want to do to me (that is in theory)

    1257990850
    SweetSubmission [sign in to see picture]
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    Tried to you tube it for you but can't find the bit I remember. Did I dream it?!

    By the way, even though the mask thing isn't me, I still get where you're coming from. I totally get the submission thing (as you may be able to tell from my nomme de plume!)

    SS xx

    1257991019
    SweetSubmission [sign in to see picture]
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    there's a still image here, so it definitely wasn't a dream!

    http://www.channel4.com/film/reviews/film_gallery.jsp?id=103248&imageId=4&pageId=2&section=gallery#reviewnav

    SS xx

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