More advanced bondage

OK so we have played with bondage for a few years now & are now ready for the next step.....

Until now I could always escape if I wanted to by getting my hands out, can anyone reccomend some restraints that are escape proof?

We have a few things which we use that I can't get out of, one of them is the under the bed restraint system, although the ties are actually velcro they are very strong and when fully tightened I have not been able to escape or pull free.

The best advice is to look through the site and read the reviews, if you dont think that velcro will be strong enough look at some with buckles, some of which even have the ability to add a padlock on for additional security.

I've found I can't get out of the Tracy Cox bondage straps set. They are described as beginners, but I would disagree with that. They're velcro, but very strong. They can be tied to the four corners of the bed - we keep our there for ease of use, just slotting them down the side of the bed frame.

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=16308

Alternatively, as boobaloo suggests, have a look at ones with buckles or padlocks, and have a look at the reviews to see how easy/hard people found them to set up and/or get out of.

thanks guys, I did look at the under bed one & thought I would be able to reach the clips. No mention in the review though, so perhaps not?

Hello and welcome to the LH forums.

Some bondage is easier to escape from, but a lot of it depends on how you are positioned. If it's too tight to wriggle out of and you can twist your wrist to open it then its escape proof. Restraining behind the back is a good way of ensuring no escapes, though this depends on where you position it.

You can't escape from bed restraints systems as you cant position your wrist to untie the straps or cuffs. http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=19809 the video on this is good and explains everything.

Good luck with your search.

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MM xx

You can reach the clips if you're 'loose', but if you tighten the straps so that you're stretched properly, the clips will be out of your reach.

My wife has managed to escape from the Tracey Cox bondage straps, but that's probably because I've been hesitant about tightening them given that she's reluctant about bondage games. She has flexible wrists and manages to bend her fingers down far enough to get purchase on the straps. As BB says, this probably wouldn't work if she was at full stretch.

Incidentally, I'm still unable to figure out my wife even after years of marriage. She says that she's not keen on bondage and, as I say, she tries to escape, but then she shows me what she's done and tells me with a cheeky grin that she needs to be punished. I'd love to respond by tying her up tightly and spanking her, but that seems to contradict her wishes. I guess we need to have a proper conversation about safe words.

No idea if this is what your wife is after CH, but what if you just responded with a similarly cheeky "Oh, you need to be punished, do you?" and then pleasured her until she couldn't take any more? It sounds like she's giving you an opportunity to take control, but you're not sure what to do with it. So maybe leave off the restraints and overt domination and make her suffer through everything she loves most. ;-)

I'm thinking that it might feel less risky for you and also give your wife an opportunity to explore her reactions to handing over control.

RH makes some very good points. Additionally, her suggestions would allow you to see your wife's reactions and then either consider going further or scaling it back.

Whislt communication is VERY important, I would nevertheless caution against taking conversation as the only measure of what your wife might want. My OH and I can both sometimes be a bit reticent about talking about something which we enjoy but feel we shouldn't (due to social stigma, personal backgrounds or whatever). Nevertheless, when we're in the bedroom, it's a different matter, as we feel we can relax and enjoy whatever in the heat of the moment. In other words, could this be one of those situations where it's something that she secretly would enjoy, but doesn't quite feel comfortable enough talking about in the light of day? (Apologies if this is not the case at all, just a thought based on my experience).

Thanks very much to rose hip and TheKittyKat for your replies. They're most insightful and helpful, and I really appreciate them!

I don't wish to take this thread too far off-topic, but I'd like to reply to the points that you both raise.

rose hip wrote:

No idea if this is what your wife is after CH, but what if you just responded with a similarly cheeky "Oh, you need to be punished, do you?" and then pleasured her until she couldn't take any more?

Oooh... I'd like to try that!

rose hip wrote:

It sounds like she's giving you an opportunity to take control, but you're not sure what to do with it.

Yes. I'm faltering somewhat, for reasons that I'll explain further below.

TheKittyKat wrote:

Whislt communication is VERY important, I would nevertheless caution against taking conversation as the only measure of what your wife might want. My OH and I can both sometimes be a bit reticent about talking about something which we enjoy but feel we shouldn't (due to social stigma, personal backgrounds or whatever). Nevertheless, when we're in the bedroom, it's a different matter, as we feel we can relax and enjoy whatever in the heat of the moment. In other words, could this be one of those situations where it's something that she secretly would enjoy, but doesn't quite feel comfortable enough talking about in the light of day?

I think you've hit the nail on the head there. Whilst my wife and I generally communicate very well and openly, we both tend to clam up when it comes to being sexually adventurous.

In my wife's case, I think it's because she still regards herself as a "nice girl" and wants me to take the initiative -- and perhaps the "blame" -- for anything that's beyond the vanilla.

In my case, I feel conflicted and guilty about my desires to be a bit "nasty" in the bedroom (albeit in a playful and loving way) because I'm used to being a "nice guy". When I do mention these ideas to my wife, I tend to do it in a tentative way. If she seems half-hearted or less about them, then I back down quickly and berate myself for making such a suggestion. It's a shame, because I think many of the ideas that I'm binning (either not mentioning or backing down on) are imaginative and potentially a lot of fun!

So, I think you're right that conventional communication (i.e. prior conversation outside the bedroom) might not be the best approach in this case. Perhaps we could create a "bedroom zone" in which we can leave our "nice girl" / "nice guy" personas behind and feel free to discuss / try anything we fancy, unless one of us uses a "veto card" or a "safe word". Hopefully that would enable me to leave my guilty feelings behind and express myself freely.

If anyone has any ideas on this, then I'd be very grateful to hear them.

Spartacus dual lock handcuffs are escape proof, and i would definately recommend them. We now have two pairs!

As Hella mentioned, the bondage boutique range has lots of padlockable items, say you get the leg, wrist and hogtie restraints, that would give enough padlocks to to lock the cuffs on the limbs and then padlock the cuffs to an underbed restraint system. As long as the underbed bits go through the handles on the mattress (if it has them), there would be no escape from that for example.

We have lovely soft leather bondage cuffs and which we use with rope to tie my arms down far enough apart that I can't undo the restraints. That works brilliantly on the bed or spreadeagled on the dining room table.

Another option could be to use a spreader bar. It doesn't work comfortably in all situations but sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn't matter...