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  1. Anal Sex for beginners, any advice?

    1208118118
    hokiepokie [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 11
    • Joined: 10 Apr 2008

    To Gyrator53...I know I was shocked myself. I was so nervous about the pain but my boyfriend took his time and I was able to relax. The best position that worked was me bending over the side of the bed (im 5'10" and my bf is 6'4") so the was the easiest for penetration. Thanks again for everything...if you find any new tips about anal...let me know!

    1208300213
    Oliber [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 67
    • Joined: 23 Oct 2005

    When you're working anything in, i find it's best to push in, when you're breathing out.

    Most people instinctively go the other way around, which isn't so easy!

    Try wearing a butt plug too, thats quite a different sensation entirely :)

    1208306642
    Miss Bumfun [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 5
    • Joined: 23 Dec 2007

    My partner is worried that because he fucked me in the ass that I will want to do the same back. I would love to play with his ass if he asked me too but I am not sure if he wants me to or not as he thinks it might lead to the strap on I keep under the bed that I used for a dominatrix costume one time. How can I tell if he wants me to try anything on him?

    I have used vibrators on his balls and he just loves it but not sure how to get any closer.

    1208309866
    Mirador [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 5
    • Joined: 8 Apr 2008

    Honestly i think that you should just flat out ask him. But try to do it in a relaxing or aluring way. Dont just say 'hey can i fuck you in the ass' ask in stages to build up to it lol.

    And if you REALLY want him to do stuff to him then you can be extra sly, sexy outfit, call him into bedroom and call him over to the bed, disrobe, have a little foreplay and then pop the question. "you know how much it turns me on when you **insert act of bumfun here**, well maybe i could turn you on in the same way? *insert sexy pout*" Even the most afraid man will at least be tempted by that!!

    and even if he still says no then no one gets embarassed. You can just carry on as normal, and he will be so horny he will be too focused elsewhere to worry about it!

    1208352984
    Onafriskymission [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 30
    • Joined: 28 Feb 2008

    Heres something to give a go, worked for us:

    Start off with having sex in the good old missionary position with him on top, run your hands all over his back. You are making him feel passionately caressed and he'll be getting turned turned on by the feeling of you exploring his body during sex, this is easier to broach than just getting straight to some anal exploration...

    Now for the all important...running your hands up and down his back whilst still going at it in missionary position get yourself to the point of clutching at his buttocks and helping push him into you, when he's at the point of feeling really excited buy this start running your fingers between his butt cheeks making your way gradually towards his anus. He might even respond by arching his back when he gets the sensation of this kind of stimulation, which makes his anus easier for you to access. then stimulate him by pressing and eventually pushing your finger inside him. If you try to time this so that you enter him just before he reaches orgasm then you will have given him such a famtastic orgasm he's going to be very turned on to anal fun.
    Give it a go, and most importantly enjoy yourselves.

    The most important thing about giving new experiences a go is being able to tell your partner if you feel uncomfortable. I think it's important to remind men that they have the right to say no too, because they are too often expected to be the intiators of sex...

    I agree with Mirador's advice, but sometimes it is good to try just a little bit of what you fancy to see if you like it, all too often people react negatively to the idea of something, without experiencing it for themselves and really knowing how it would make them feel.

    Good luck, hope you convert him!
    Frisky

    1208362303
    shellyboo [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 825
    • Joined: 16 Apr 2008

    I have no real advice to offer, but I had to sign up to share my experience... but I'm new so be nice :)

    The first time I tried anal was with my ex, and it was so painful that I forbid him to try it again... but a few years (and a few guys) down the road, I was curious so I asked my new man to give it a go - him being more experienced in matters anal than me.

    Well... I love it. And the more we do it, the better the sensations. So maybe I do have a bit of advice - just keep trying! It's definitely worth it.

    I do have one question myself... do women ususally come from anal? Is it hard to achieve? I have come during anal, but from clit stimulation - it was a mind-blowing orgasm, but I'm wondering if I'll ever be able to cum from anal alone...

    Any and all input welcome!

    1208391098
    Miss Bumfun [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 5
    • Joined: 23 Dec 2007

    Thanks for that advice, I have asked him but I think he gives the typical guy answer and shys away from even admitting he would try it. Also might be a bit tricky to reach his ass in missionary as he is so tall i can barely reach his testicles. I have got near the area by using toys on the area between his ass and testicles and he seems to respond well to that. I think i might try a more thorough washing technique next time we have a shower and maybe suck him off and move my hands and edge closer. Plus i will know that area is deffo clean that way ;p

    1208536388
    BBG [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 162
    • Joined: 10 Oct 2006

    Hi Miss Bumfun - I like your username! :-)

    Your guy is lucky that you want to indulge in anal play - many girls are less adventurous unfortunately, and I speak from experience.

    My advice is to wait for the right moment - maybe during foreplay and after a couple of inhibition reducing drinkies - and tell him that there's something you'd like to try with him. Something that you think he'll really like and that you get really turned on wanting to do for him. (tell him you'll try something new that he wants in exchange)

    Then use a well lubed vibrator in his ass. Slowly. I can recommend this one -
    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=51

    I have one and it feels fantastic inside, plus it's a nice size for a beginner and designed specially for anal play. The big bonus is the vibrating cock ring which will give you both pleasure. I bet you he enjoys having these both going whilst he fucks you so much he'll be an instant convert! Climaxing whilst you're using an anal vibrator is habit forming, trust me.

    Let me know what you think... :-)

    1208565750
    Miss Bumfun [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 5
    • Joined: 23 Dec 2007

    Lol, hmm I think I would have to indulge him rather slower than that I fear. He was scared of anal coz he thought i might do stuff back. Thing is I wanted to do anal and then chickened out til he kept mentioning it so I went along. I have always wanted to do anal and as I didn't realise how easy it would be to slip a cock inside their I always waited til i met someone I was in a stable relationship where experimentation was always an option. I won't be pegging him anytime soon, but it's only fair that I poke his g spot.

    still think i will have to work up to it, I think that stage will be the most tricky. Glad you like my name, I thought it was apprpriate as I have recently joined the orgasm army just after I got into bumfun. Also bumfun sounds a bit more fun than anal, such a harsh word.

    1208616661
    BBG [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 162
    • Joined: 10 Oct 2006

    I'm kinda curious Miss Bumfun - what sparked your interested in anal fun to start with?

    I think it's a shame when one half of a couple isn't into anal when the other half is: usually it's the guy who's the keenie though! Also a lot of guys like yours are secretly more interested than they make out. Blokes tend to protest at the idea of having anything up their ass more from fear of being seen as having dodgy masculinity rather than genuine disinterest. As if they fear their girlfriends are going to ditch them and then tell their friends about the secret ass sessions. Maybe that's the barrier here. Any guy who has tried anal penetration properly will tell you - it feels great, especially with a bit of prostate massage thrown in.

    How about you slip it into the conversation a few times about how much it turns you on, being with a guy who's masculine enough to experiment with anal pleasure...

    1210118196
    Miss Bumfun [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 5
    • Joined: 23 Dec 2007

    Yeah, I will have to bring it up, will be better once we see each other more as we only have every other weekend while i do my studies so spend most of that time getting back into 'normal sex' i guess.

    I think that when I was younger I always got turned on if a guy said he wanted to fuck my 'tight asshole' and it was more the idea than actually doing it, the forbidden element. I would always tell them that they couldn't (saving it for a rainy day I guess) and nobody ever pressed me on the subject opr even used a finger. Now I'm with someone who I have finally started experimenting with it has just naturally happened (plus they fingered me then wiped their finger on the duvet so I thought it best to use a topy to save them doing that)Although I say he talked me into it i kept suggesting it and bought some bum toys until he got the idea I enjoyed it. Then it went from there. I am going the right way though, have started using toys on him, getting closer to that 'area' and will probably be there eventually. It doesn;t help that I own a strap on (for an outfit) which I always use as a jokey threat as its massive, maybe that has sparked nervousness, I wouldn't suddenly peg him with it.

    He is into anal, but he seems to prefer doing things to my bumhole whilst he penetrates my vagina or plays with it, scared he will hurt me perhaps. I'm sure more talking and gradually working on it will lead to my success.

    1210154513
    shellyboo [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 825
    • Joined: 16 Apr 2008

    Wiped their finger on the duvet.

    *shakes head in disbelief*

    Some people.

    I must confess to being a total hypocrite when it comes to anal... I love it when my guy does it to me, but if he wanted me to do it to him, I think I'd be a bit skeezed out by the idea. I'd do it, don't get me wrong... just the idea of it gives me the willies a bit.

    1211391385
    LadyKitty [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 1
    • Joined: 20 May 2008

    I would agree that a good anal orgasm is certainly habit forming!
    I also agree, though, that you have to be really 'into' the idea to enjoy anal sex. I don't know if many women feel obliged or pressured to try it out with their boyfriends or husbands, but the decision should be yours and yours alone. Fear and/or disgust will only make the muscles clench and it will hurt more.
    As someone who has been experimenting with anal toys for a good few years now, I'd say start small and work up over weeks and months. Also some people are stretchier than others ; )
    Try to work up to a toy about the same size as your partner, and once you can manage that without pain, then you are on your way. If you don't like it, then don't do it. Personally, I think silicone lube is the best kind, but see what works for you (KY is rubbish, don't even bother)
    As regards desensitising lube and amyl nitrate (poppers) both of these are very dangerous. The first will numb sensation (good and bad) and you could do yourself real damage without knowing. Don't go there, ever! The second is a drug that may make your muscles relax but also has the potential to make you feel sicj at best and at worst, can cause heart failure. Not worth the trouble, is it?
    In short, take it slowly, don't rush and build up to it. Anal sex is something to be handled carefully, and if you really don't like it, then DON'T do it. If your husband is a decent person, then he will understand and respect your wishes.

    1221036464
    studley [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 103
    • Joined: 22 Oct 2007

    Hello rikimuk welcome to O.A ....

    1221040602
    Sexychic [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 155
    • Joined: 22 Apr 2007

    Ive just reviewed 2 sets of Anal Beads, they were my first anal toy and now I Love them. as does hubby. definatly a must for beginners,

    1221041237
    whirlybird [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 59
    • Joined: 13 Jul 2008

    Sexychic wrote:

    Ive just reviewed 2 sets of Anal Beads, they were my first anal toy and now I Love them. as does hubby. definatly a must for beginners,

    Hi SC, couldn't agree more! Along with the OH, I'm pretty new to anal play (discovered a lot in the last few weeks! LOL!), and love my anal beads - they feel yummy! Like them so much that I've invested in a set of vibrating ones, and all I can say is wow!

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=10240

    1221041364
    Sexychic [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 155
    • Joined: 22 Apr 2007

    wow they look fab ive added them to my wishlist, never seen vibrating ones before x

    1221042061
    whirlybird [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 59
    • Joined: 13 Jul 2008

    Sexychic wrote:

    wow they look fab ive added them to my wishlist, never seen vibrating ones before x

    Hmm, I'll be writing a review after I've properly road tested them, but I can highly reccomend them!

    1221134801
    Naughty40 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 79
    • Joined: 10 Sep 2008

    Got a question - is it wrong to be curious about anal?

    I was brought up very strict, tho ma did like to think she was pretty conservative about sex (she used to be a demonstrator for a sex catalogue) but I brought a lot of hang ups into my relationship cos of her.

    Its only now (25 years on) that I am actually begining to enjoy sex. I have always enjoyed it, dont get me wrong, but to actually ENJOY it and to be thinking about it constant. I have always enjoyed receiving oral, but have shied away from giving (had to be cajoled into it) but now I cant keep my hands off him! Hes not complaining though.

    But - since getting my vibrator two weeks ago, plus a multi-set thing, im getting more curious about other stimulation. Once hubby has slipped his finger in, had a little tickle, but I was tensed up and tho it was a pleasurable sensation we have never repeated it. (apart from an occasional misdirected penis we have never even discussed/tried anal sex).

    Yesterday while brownsing through I started to read this thread and it got me thinking. Anyway, last night during having my clit aroused he slipped a finger towards my anus and started to gently rub. It was very pleasurable. I was in ecstasy!! But he stopped and said sorry - so i said nothing to be sorry for, so he gently carried on, thing is im not sure how much he actually penetrated as I was away with the fairies by this time!! How do I broach the subject?

    So now Im sat here with the usual ache in my vagina and an unusual tingling in my anal area.....I wondering, is it wrong to want to try anal, should i suggest it to him, or should I just experiment myself to see if it is pleasrable, then if I do enjoy it - to allow it to happen? Which would be easy to arrange - as he LOVES my ass anyway, loves carressing it, biting it etc....plus the last 3 months I have lost a bit of weight and I know my ass is looking good!

    My way of thinking is, if I experiment myself - thus 'stretching' that area, that if it does happen its not going to be painful. Advice/opinions please.

    1221135061
    Sexychic [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 155
    • Joined: 22 Apr 2007

    Naughty40 wrote:

    Got a question - is it wrong to be curious about anal?

    I was brought up very strict, tho ma did like to think she was pretty conservative about sex (she used to be a demonstrator for a sex catalogue) but I brought a lot of hang ups into my relationship cos of her.

    Its only now (25 years on) that I am actually begining to enjoy sex. I have always enjoyed it, dont get me wrong, but to actually ENJOY it and to be thinking about it constant. I have always enjoyed receiving oral, but have shied away from giving (had to be cajoled into it) but now I cant keep my hands off him! Hes not complaining though.

    But - since getting my vibrator two weeks ago, plus a multi-set thing, im getting more curious about other stimulation. Once hubby has slipped his finger in, had a little tickle, but I was tensed up and tho it was a pleasurable sensation we have never repeated it. (apart from an occasional misdirected penis we have never even discussed/tried anal sex).

    Yesterday while brownsing through I started to read this thread and it got me thinking. Anyway, last night during having my clit aroused he slipped a finger towards my anus and started to gently rub. It was very pleasurable. I was in ecstasy!! But he stopped and said sorry - so i said nothing to be sorry for, so he gently carried on, thing is im not sure how much he actually penetrated as I was away with the fairies by this time!! How do I broach the subject?

    So now Im sat here with the usual ache in my vagina and an unusual tingling in my anal area.....I wondering, is it wrong to want to try anal, should i suggest it to him, or should I just experiment myself to see if it is pleasrable, then if I do enjoy it - to allow it to happen? Which would be easy to arrange - as he LOVES my ass anyway, loves carressing it, biting it etc....plus the last 3 months I have lost a bit of weight and I know my ass is looking good!

    My way of thinking is, if I experiment myself - thus 'stretching' that area, that if it does happen its not going to be painful. Advice/opinions please.

    I think your idea of self experimenting is a good start to anal play, this way you will know what you like and dont,

    your starting of on the right foot with a finger, I would suggest maybe trying some anal beads, they are quite small and both of you could try them,

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