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  1. Anal Sex for beginners, any advice?

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    Wizzie86 [sign in to see picture]
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    I can't recommend anal beads enough (jelly style) to anyone who wants to explore anal or who wants to experiment with toys. They also make great dildos. The tracey cox butt plugs are really good for anyone trying to get used to the sensation. They're great material and the advanced kit plugs can vibrate if you put your supersex bullet inside them x

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    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    yeh but you do have an anus and the nerves in it to give you a separate kind of orgasm but what ever you find works but i was only trying to open up the world for you a bit. you decide what you fancy but if you dont know what else is possible you cant try it. may be you should try to train them you might just find new horizens open up. its uncomfortable simplly because you dont train. look at some of my other posts to see how to. but if you're happy where you are fine with me just trying to help

    wish i could just pop it in and wank i need the extra stimulation from in and out it's a bugger trying to do both at the same time on your own, when i reach lift of im damed if i can use both hands doing different things at the same time the mind is busy else where. by the way i dont always go go for the prostrate orgasm, sometimes i like to go for a plain on its own anal ring orgasm just for a change of sensation , i do so love to play around up there about six inch up where the rectum turns the corner, there is another sweet spot in me. you have to be carful not to get too rough with it though. i have a gay friend how cannot have prostrate orgasms or anal ring orgasms, he can only cum from the deep spot i mentioned. really pisses him off cos he has to find a guy that can reach lol.

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    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    KittyPurry wrote:

    SN: I really recommend this little gem: http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=16053.%C2%A0 If you're interested in taking the penetration aspect a little further, this is really small and feels lovely! Also hellooooo beautiful stranger

    xxKPxx

    We got that as a pressie! It looks ideal for beginners like us! We're just trying to find the time to use it now.

    Heres the link again too.

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=16053

    Your fullstop added to the link

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    sexynurse09 [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks for the replies everyone! Hello KP, long time no see gorgeous . Thanks for the link glad you enjoy it (think I sent it you at xmas hehe). Am considering trying it, ive seen another one though

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=8029

    Don't know which to go for, might get both!

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    KittyPurry [sign in to see picture]
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    DOH n00b fail on the link! Thanks WandA, glad someone's head is screwed on right

    Yes I thought it was your secret santa SN!!! My tush is very grateful for your input thank yoooooou! It's so nice to have in when you go on top...you feel lovely and full, but not uncomfortable because it's only liccle! Which ever one you get I bet you'll have loads of fun!

    xxKPxx

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    Columbus [sign in to see picture]
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    Okay, I'm bumping it to "share" my recent experience and seek advice.

    OH and I tried anal sex for the third time (and last two times were months apart) on Tuesday night. It was my suggestion, but as I was on my period although he rubbed my clit to make me cum and then licked my bum for a little while to relax me I probably wasn't as turned on as I need to be... we tried it anyway and in the end pretty much all of him was in me ( he's about 8" long and 6" circumference) but it ended up hurting but I kept quiet and let him do a few more thrusts until he came. He's a bit upset that I didn't tell him to stop if it was hurting. Anyway, I think that if we try again it just needs to be really slow and we need to take a lot more time than we did . We pretty much just went straight into him putting his cock up my arse (crude, but that's kind of my feelings on the matter this time around) and it hurt. I think we need more time and more lube. So, I have some idea for a possible next time. However, we did it Tue evening and I still feel some discomfort now. Kind of achey I suppose. Is this something that eases after time if you get used to doing anal? Or is it a symptom of rushing it and it hurting me? I actually ended up feeling quite upset about it all because as well as being in pain, he came and then immediately fell asleep!! We've talked about it and, as I say, he feels sad he hurt me and made me feel abit used and upset. I think it's because the first time we tried (in spoons again) he held me and I was guiding him in and we were talking about how it felt for both of us and he said how "gorgeous" it felt etc etc. and emotionally it felt like something very intimate we were sharing. This time I just felt a bit like it was something that was being done to me that i was enduring. Which is silly when it was my idea, but the closeness wasn't there for me and towards the end as he got closer to climaxing he put his hand on my shoulder so he had leverage to thrust harder I think and then came and then went to sleep - and I was left there feeling very hurt both physically and emotionally. I've also mentally felt a bit weird about it as well letting him do anal. But I can't really explain why.

    As, I say, he feels bad I didn't say more at the time that I was hurting (I did give out a few "ow!"s though along the way!!) and that I have felt bad about it from a mental/emotional standpoint as well. He's said he feels it was very special and intimate but we won't do it again as he hates hurting me. But I might be up for trying some other time once my poor back passage has recovered

    Any advice on whether that discomfort during and after the experience passes ?

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    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    Columbus I can completely understand how you feel and hope I can give you some comfort.

    I've never managed anal but I get pain during sex.

    When it hurts particularly badly, I want to carry on so I will hide my pain - WandA has gotton very good at knowing when I'm in pain now but back before that came, he would be none the wiser. The trouble is, when you're in pain you focus so much on the pain and mentally trying to carry on that you sometimes don't notice the intimacy your partner is getting from the experience! Which may explain why he feels it was intimate and you didn't. Baring in mind he can't see your face (thus can't see your winces) and you can't see his (so can't see how much he's loving it!). He may not have been expecting pain so didn't focus on the "ows" or he may have been expecting pain so much that he figured a couple of "ows" were normal because he thought you'd tell him to stop if it was getting too much.

    I can't tell you how long the discomfort will take to pass, but it will pass, the worst case scenario is slight tearing meaning the skin needs to heal but if this is the case and it was a bad tear there would have been blood which you haven't mentioned so I would imagine it shouldn't take too much longer to heal - but don't try again too soon as if you're not fully healed and it hurts more because of it you'll only put yourself off even more

    And remember - you're the one doing the receiving so if it hurts - stop! Even if he's close to coming! He can always come somewhere else!!

    Axx

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    Columbus [sign in to see picture]
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    Yeah, I know. He feels bad I didn't say anything and has said I must tell him to stop if he's every doing anything that hurts me. What can I say, I'm a trooper!! lol

    I don't think it's a tear or anything! I'd be horrified if it was!! I think it's just that having something that size up my arse has made it go "Jesus! WTF?!" and it's a bit achey I suppose is the best way to describe it! I just wondered if anyone that has experience of anal knows what i mean and if it's something that passes (bad choice of word I think...!) or you get used to or whatever...

    Thanks for the advice though AdnaW

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    KittyPurry [sign in to see picture]
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    Bless you Columbus!

    Noone really likes to talk about the icky side of anal sex...i.e. the weird achey, bruised feeling, some slightly painfull bathroom incidents afterwards. It's not particularly glamorous that's for sure!

    As long as there's no evidence of bleeding, and you can still go to the loo without serious pain you're probably ok but it's been a while since tuesday night so I'd consider maybe going to the gp either tomorrow or monday if you're no better. They'll have seen/heard it all before (and much worse) so don't feel embarassed!

    I find with anal the first few minutes after my OH has entered me is really quite uncomfortable. As long as we both remain still for a little while the discomfort gradually subsides as my muscles stop spasming. We then start (very gently) thrusting.

    With anal there really is no such thing as too much lube, go crazy with it, it feels much nicer! Keep hold of the bottle too so if things start to pinch you can just hand it to him or lube yourself up a little more without having to interupt proceedings.

    Try not to feel to badly about your OH falling asleep it really is a hormonal thing, they just can't help it sometimes! It sucks that you felt used but what is really wonderful is that you talked to your OH about it and he was understanding, you clearly have a wonderful relationship.

    There's an odd sort of dynamic when you have a loving relationship with someone but then have really filthy sex. It feels wonderful when it works well and you're both in the "fuck me senseless" mood but if one of you is and the other wants something a bit more tender and romanic it can be a bit awkward. I think the key is communication and a sense of humour...you guys seem to have both

    xxKPxx

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    KittyPurry [sign in to see picture]
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    PS if he wants to cum in your ass (or in fact if you'd like him to) my favourite little trick is to just have DD press the tip against me and cum just inside...you can feel pulsing, it feels (and looks super naughty) and there's no pain whatsoever!

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    Columbus [sign in to see picture]
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    Ta! I'm not in pain anymore - it's not that bad. I just feel slightly achey still. No bathroom incidents either thankfully!! lol I've asked Puppies advice via FB as she's into it and she said that to start with she had the same achy feeling afterwards but that it goes as you get used to it. I think me feeling like this has put OH off doing it again anyway! It's not something he was especially bothered about, it's really more my idea!

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    Malteser81 [sign in to see picture]
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    Columbus wrote:

    Ta! I'm not in pain anymore - it's not that bad. I just feel slightly achey still. No bathroom incidents either thankfully!! lol I've asked Puppies advice via FB as she's into it and she said that to start with she had the same achy feeling afterwards but that it goes as you get used to it. I think me feeling like this has put OH off doing it again anyway! It's not something he was especially bothered about, it's really more my idea!

    Awww hun, I love anal and with my partner its fantastic but I have to admit im my eargerness I dont use as much lube as I should and if the OH pushes in a lil too fast I get a sharp kind of pain that does take a while to ease plus gives me the feeling I need to (ah hum)poo =S (sorry as KP has said its not glamarous). I've learnt to tell the OH though if it hurts and he just stops till the pain passes and then I tend to push myself bk on him as i'm better at determining the right angles.

    In my past relationships ive also tried anal but was never a fan as well with my first partner it came to a point when he would just thrust it inside my bum whether I liked it or not and I learnt to hide the pain. Its taken a long time to heal the mental scars but my OH has helped so much. The fact that your partner was concerned and feels he doesnt want to do it again shows that he really could be the person who can make anal enjoyable for you and as Puppies said it does take time but believe me is worth it hun.

    Xxx

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    Malteser81 [sign in to see picture]
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    Also forgot to mention that anal can be both loving and naughty and kinky too. Many a time my OH will cwtch up behind me, slip himself up me bum and wow it feels so loving and special. However its noty always like that and during our kinky sessions anal plays a big part, as it is still concidered quite taboo, and its much more rougher eg hair pulling, ass spanking and hard thrusting. This too however is very special as it shows the trust between partners and its very important to comunicate at that time how u feel. Kinky takes time but you'll get there if you work at it and it will feel fantastic.

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    Columbus [sign in to see picture]
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    Malteser81 wrote:

    The fact that your partner was concerned and feels he doesnt want to do it again shows that he really could be the person who can make anal enjoyable for you and as Puppies said it does take time but believe me is worth it hun.

    Thanks. I think I wanted to do it, partly to experience it, but also I suppose mentally/emotionally as a way of totally giving myself to him, you know? I think he's put off trying it again anyway now as it hurt me and he says he's not that bothered about it anyway and prefers my "flower" as he calls it.

    I agree with the part of your post I've quoted above. I never, ever thought I'd consider trying anal sex. I was always very against the idea and felt it was very much a male desire. I was with my ex 7 years and he wasn't interested in trying it either so it just wasn't an issue as neither of us wanted to do anything like that. I think me wanting to try it with my OH is testament to how I feel about him and that I do trust him sexually. Even to suggest it to him and then physically having to trust someone to do something so intimate. He's tried anal in the past but it was years ago (like 17 years ago) with his first GF as she'd requested it a couple of times and I think she was used to doing it with other partners before him, so I don't think it hurt her. So, although I feel like it's not new to him it is really and he feels like he's not sure what he's doing and doesn't want to hurt me. I've suggested reading up more on here but think main thing, if we do ever try again, is to set aside a lot more time (and not do it last thing at night when he's shattered!) and to spend time playing, exploring, orgasming before hand - ease into the whole anal thing with tongues, fingers first and use loads and loads of lube!! We did apply some a couple of times but think probably needed more really. He said he wants me to communicate with him more. So, should we indulge again I will.

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    Malteser81 [sign in to see picture]
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    I wanted to try anal so much with my second partner and since we wernt living together I bought some dildo's infact a slim basics one that I have to say was a waste of money as it went in so easily and didnt seem a challenge so then bought http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=9644. As well as a set of 3 graduating dildo's, the fact that they were the shape of a real penis (plus the colours were pretty) made more sense since it was a real penis I wanted to aim for and not a huge butt plug.

    They really were worth it and although i very rarely use them now, they helped me to get used to having somthing in my bum and to relax. I found that the best way to insert them was to lie on my side as was easier for me to guide them in at the right angle. When it came to wanting actual anal with my partner, i would first insert the small and wear for a bit, get dressed etc, walk around and then move up to the next and then again the largest till I felt full but not uncomfortable. Obviously this means you need to plan but the hard work will be worth it and will be less of a shock to ure anus when u try again.

    Let me know how you get on hun and any help I can give i'm usually here, cant seem to get me off actually =)

    Xxx

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    Columbus [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks! I've got the basics butt buddy actually, but wasn't that taken with it. Just feels very cold - I do think I was probably trying to run before I could walk taking OH though, esp as he's quite big!! x

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    Malteser81 [sign in to see picture]
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    Columbus wrote:

    Thanks! I've got the basics butt buddy actually, but wasn't that taken with it. Just feels very cold - I do think I was probably trying to run before I could walk taking OH though, esp as he's quite big!! x

    I'll agree that the dildo's are very cold but the thing is that for me they wernt somthing I was using for pleasure but to serve a purpose and to train my body to get used to having somthing in my bum. I do however reccoment that u start small and work your way up although very often i hurt myself (as I do enjoy using a vibrating butt plug on my own for pleasure) by not lubing up enough or shoving it in to fast.

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    Tigerlilies [sign in to see picture]
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    headsouth wrote:

    I bought an LH butt plug for my wife as a suprise a couple of months back. Flowers, btw, generally make better suprises! She was a little put off and it gathered dust, but more recently it's seen the light of day, and rapidly gone to a certain dark place ;-) We found very soon that it was far far too small, too narrow, like your experiences Malteser81, and now looking to buy something significantly bigger to get the thing to stay put on its own.

    Malteser81, if you do read this, can I ask if you prefer length or girth, or is it much more complicated (or a dumb question)? I notice that three-pack you linked to all seem pretty standard width wise, and only vary in length.

    If you don't mind linking to the model you bought, HS, we can get an idea of the dimensions you are looking for.

    Does your wife prefer girth to length or is she looking for an upgrade in every direction?

    The size scroll bars in the LH search functions are really useful when shopping for certain lengths.

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    Malteser81 [sign in to see picture]
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    headsouth wrote:

    I bought an LH butt plug for my wife as a suprise a couple of months back. Flowers, btw, generally make better suprises! She was a little put off and it gathered dust, but more recently it's seen the light of day, and rapidly gone to a certain dark place ;-) We found very soon that it was far far too small, too narrow, like your experiences Malteser81, and now looking to buy something significantly bigger to get the thing to stay put on its own.

    Malteser81, if you do read this, can I ask if you prefer length or girth, or is it much more complicated (or a dumb question)? I notice that three-pack you linked to all seem pretty standard width wise, and only vary in length.

    Hi HS =).

    The 3 butt plugs do differ slighty in width but obviously more in length.

    I find its much harder to take length as an anus has rings of muscle every couple of inches and as the person recieving has to be able to relax as your partner pushes further in.

    I highly recomend the set though and after all does your differ significantly in width once erect?? lol If you and your partner just wish to have safe and happy anal sex then these are a great way to get her anus used to recieving a penius.

    Good luck =)

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    Malteser81 [sign in to see picture]
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    Maybe your wife should think about slowing down a bit as its easy to get hurt if you rush and can mentaly make you feel like u dont want to bother anymore. Maybe try this http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=16561 as its really warming up that is needed rather than over stretching. Obvioously she would still like to be able to feel u in there afterwards lol. Once the butt plugs have served their purpose, u can purchase a Tracey Cox bullet http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=14042 and insert it into the holes in the bottom of the plugs and voila.... u have brand new toys..... vibrating butt plugs.... yummmm.

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