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  1. A little help please :)

    1285651206
    LovingHer [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 35
    • Joined: 18 May 2009

    Hi I'm new to the forums but have been buying toys off of here for the past year or so :) Im an 18yo male student and have been with my gf for a year and a half now.

    I really enjoy anal play, whenever i get some "alone time" i almost always have a toy in use how can i bring this up with my gf without scaring her off or anything? I would love it if she was to use one of my toys on me.

    1285651902
    mac8391 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 45
    • Joined: 26 Dec 2006

    Hi LovingHer, ive found this a tough subject myself to be honest as ive always wanted to bring it in i think the best way ive always found is that when my OH is playing with me is to move her hand towards it and let her play with my arse.

    1285656845
    SEXYGET 69 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1795
    • Joined: 1 Dec 2008

    Hello and welcome to the forums LovingHer.

    I think honesty is the best policy where sex is the issue LovingHer. I would just let her know that you enjoy anal play and you would like her to experiment with you. Does she like you to stroke her there or kiss/lick her arse? If so I'd say there'll be no problem but I wouldn't force the issue as some people just don't and will never try anal anything! My ex wasn't interested but my current beloved one is well into pleasuring me as I am her. Good luck and prepare for being told there's loads of threads on this type of stuff already! It's a bit like that lately! Everyone is very helpful and friendly here you will find.

    If you look down the left side at the subheadings on the main forum page you will see anal sex toys. Click on this and you probably will see similar information as to what you are asking. Anything you may be wondering about may possibly have been covered before so use the search function first and you never know your luck!

    Hope it all goes well!

    SG

    1285679960
    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3406
    • Joined: 2 Feb 2008

    SEXYGET 69 wrote:

    Hello and welcome to the forums LovingHer.

    I think honesty is the best policy where sex is the issue LovingHer. I would just let her know that you enjoy anal play and you would like her to experiment with you. Does she like you to stroke her there or kiss/lick her arse? If so I'd say there'll be no problem but I wouldn't force the issue as some people just don't and will never try anal anything! My ex wasn't interested but my current beloved one is well into pleasuring me as I am her. Good luck and prepare for being told there's loads of threads on this type of stuff already! It's a bit like that lately! Everyone is very helpful and friendly here you will find.

    If you look down the left side at the subheadings on the main forum page you will see anal sex toys. Click on this and you probably will see similar information as to what you are asking. Anything you may be wondering about may possibly have been covered before so use the search function first and you never know your luck!

    Hope it all goes well!

    SG

    This is a specific and personal question - so repeat threads are ok....forgive me for bringing this into a different thread (and LovingHer absolutely ignore this) but I kind of feel rather annoyed that the blame seems to be shifting over towards to the rule followers rather than the rule breakers and we're being told we're being harsh when we do as best we can to be polite.

    *Rant over and back on topic*

    LovingHer I'd say bring it up gently, maybe in a way that doesn't put you on the line first? Say you've heard that perineum and anal stimulation can feel really nice. If she's not into you playing with her there yet, maybe you could encourage her to let you have a go on her - once she realises how good it feels she's more likely to be open minded about trying it on you too!

    If you already play with her anally then you're half way there! All you have to do is remind her that it's an "area" you both share and the pleasure she gets from it, could also be transfered to you!

    Remember, if she's nervous about "ickiness" - slip a condom over fingers/toys during play to keep "clean", *always* bathe before hand, and if you get to the stage where rimming is on the cards, tear a condom so it opens out flat (removing the ring at the top) and lick through that! It's a great place to start and eventually she might feel ready to try without protection once she's more used to the idea.

    Good luck!

    Adx

    1285680341
    Ilovemyman [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 614
    • Joined: 7 Dec 2009

    Alicia D'amore wrote:

    SEXYGET 69 wrote:

    Hello and welcome to the forums LovingHer.

    I think honesty is the best policy where sex is the issue LovingHer. I would just let her know that you enjoy anal play and you would like her to experiment with you. Does she like you to stroke her there or kiss/lick her arse? If so I'd say there'll be no problem but I wouldn't force the issue as some people just don't and will never try anal anything! My ex wasn't interested but my current beloved one is well into pleasuring me as I am her. Good luck and prepare for being told there's loads of threads on this type of stuff already! It's a bit like that lately! Everyone is very helpful and friendly here you will find.

    If you look down the left side at the subheadings on the main forum page you will see anal sex toys. Click on this and you probably will see similar information as to what you are asking. Anything you may be wondering about may possibly have been covered before so use the search function first and you never know your luck!

    Hope it all goes well!

    SG

    This is a specific and personal question - so repeat threads are ok....forgive me for bringing this into a different thread (and LovingHer absolutely ignore this) but I kind of feel rather annoyed that the blame seems to be shifting over towards to the rule followers rather than the rule breakers and we're being told we're being harsh when we do as best we can to be polite.

    *Rant over and back on topic*

    LovingHer I'd say bring it up gently, maybe in a way that doesn't put you on the line first? Say you've heard that perineum and anal stimulation can feel really nice. If she's not into you playing with her there yet, maybe you could encourage her to let you have a go on her - once she realises how good it feels she's more likely to be open minded about trying it on you too!

    If you already play with her anally then you're half way there! All you have to do is remind her that it's an "area" you both share and the pleasure she gets from it, could also be transfered to you!

    Remember, if she's nervous about "ickiness" - slip a condom over fingers/toys during play to keep "clean", *always* bathe before hand, and if you get to the stage where rimming is on the cards, tear a condom so it opens out flat (removing the ring at the top) and lick through that! It's a great place to start and eventually she might feel ready to try without protection once she's more used to the idea.

    Good luck!

    Adx

    Hello LovingHer and welcome to the OA

    I think you have great advice here from SG and Ad, there's not much i can add to it! She might surprise you and enjoy it, i am still in the process of encouraging my OH to try out some anal play

    1285683546
    chels18 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 217
    • Joined: 18 May 2010

    Hi LovingHer..

    Maybe talk to her about LoveHoney (not the community so much) but see if there are any toys she likes the look of... if you can get looking at sex toys together, see if there are any couple ones you guys like, or just simple vibes to start off with.... using them together or buying them for each other wont be so much of a worry.

    In the long run, shes a lady, and she probably has toys as well so might be feeling the same way talking about sex toys with you!

    good luck x

    1285683612
    chels18 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 217
    • Joined: 18 May 2010

    p.s - I told my girlfriend I was into anal play by showing her my wishlist on here (which has some bum toys) and asking if there is anything she'd to add to it.... worked well!

    1285695067
    SlipperyWhenWet [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 81
    • Joined: 16 Jul 2009

    chels18 wrote:

    p.s - I told my girlfriend I was into anal play by showing her my wishlist on here (which has some bum toys) and asking if there is anything she'd to add to it.... worked well!

    That's a cunning tactic! ...I was lucky that fairly early in our relationship SexiLexi noticed that while giving oral or whatever, the closer she moved her fingers to my bumhole, the bigger the reaction. I wasn't doing it deliberately at all, but she was savvy enough to keep pushing the boundary back 'til I realized it was ok to bring up my anal wants with her... 18 months later & anal is a welcome regular treat in our sex life, thoroughly enjoyed by both of us.

    The previous advice is great - it's such a hard subject as it's so specific to each couple - only you can judge how your girl might take it. You could take the "literotica" route - find a good story on literotica.com where a girl plays with a guys ass (trust me, there are plenty!) and "accidentally" leave it open one your computer for her to find - if she's disgusted then make some excuse that you didn't realize that was what it was about and were just reading out of fascination... I'd bet it's more likely she'll be turned on - then the subject is in the open & off you go.

    Either that or have some really good sex, playing her maximum attention, lots of foreplay, hit all her favorite erogenous zones & positions, and then when you're laying back afterwards just be honest and tell her. She might like the idea, she might not, but after the great sex she can hardly be angry with you

    1285716655
    LovingHer [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 35
    • Joined: 18 May 2009

    Hey everyone thanks for all the comments and advice it has been really useful finding out how others have brung the topic up with there other half i knew these forums would be the best place to go, cos lets face it you do a google searchm and all you get are men trying to convince the OH to do anal (not right imo, if she is totally against it you arent going to be able to talk them around quickly), or women not knowing how to bring up the topic of pegging etc.

    SG69 and Alicia, unfortunately we have experimented with anal (her recieving) and anything small, my fingers/small butt plug she hates (compared it to taking a crap was both of us who brung the idea up) but when we have been drunk she has tried to stick me in her arse, which she said she liked, but it hurt alot (obviously lol) and said if only there was a way to numb it more, (she then discovered and suggested using a relaxant/numbing cream :/ ). So i cant really go down that route until im off antibiotics and we can go for a night out, but maybe.

    We have tried her fingering me, but that was a little unsuccessful, her fingers are rather short and failed to reach my prostate and nothing has been said since. I'm just slightly thinking she might want to though, cos when messing around she says about fingering me or fucking my arse, but i know she probably means it no more than a joke

    Chels i was liking your idea, but the only toy she owns is a nice little silicone vibe i bought her, (nice size for me starting a little session aswell lol ) i would make a wishlist on here but i have a feeling she would go through my purchases, not a good start in my eyes.

    Slippery the literotica thing might actually be something i try, that way i would see how she reacts to the idea again

    Although i think all in all i might go down the route of saying i was having a thorough clean of my intimates in the bath/shower all nice and soapy (i mean come on who of us on here doesnt ) and that as i got round to it, that it felt nice when playing with my bum a little, hopefully that wont go down too badly, and she will think that its a bit more of a new territory for the both of us and hopefully she will be ok with my anal loving side definitely one thing i dont discuss with my friends, i mentioned flesh lights to them, and wow the stigma involved there, good job they dont know i have a male masturbator

    Whats

    1285716736
    LovingHer [sign in to see picture]
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    Bloody thing posting when i wasnt finished ¬_¬ what is the opinion from you guys on my idea of bringing it up with her, ie how would you react if the OH told you that, esp if you are female :)

    1285717398
    Seduced [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 15 Aug 2010

    Hehe, Welcome to the OA LovingHer! ;)

    Trust me, There are more straight men out there that enjoy anal pleasure than you could imagine!

    You are just one of the braver ones to 'come out' as it were, No Im not taking the piss....

    I love anal play and just recently hit my p-spot! Oh my what a mess, Anyhoo, I digress....

    Obviously every relationship is unique... But I will say this, My OH, and I mean no dissrespect to her in saying this...

    She is quite 'conservative' in the bedroom department.

    And she has accepted my anal enthusiam as an extension of my sexual reportoi and NOT as a sign of me being gay or bi ( Nothing wrong with tat either mind! )

    So there IS hope my friend!

    Just approach it gently and sincerely and re-assure her.

    I hope all goes well.

    Paul

    1285718221
    LovingHer [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
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    Hey Seduced, yeah i know im definitely not alone, i feel sorry for all those who refuse to try, missing out big time in my opinion.

    Haha i know you arent taking the piss with that, it actually made me giggle though, so thanks for that

    No worrys for digressing, im glad you have joined us enlightened lot, male and female alike

    Yup the conservativeness sounds a tiny bit like my OH aswell haha, but in that case there definitely is hope yet i dont really mind if she doesnt want to indulge in that side of my sexuality with me, would be lovely if she did, but if she doesnt dig it but is fine with myself exploring that on my own, then i finally can stop hiding my toys when she comes round

    1285718387
    Seduced [sign in to see picture]
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    Tried out the Ebony massager yet? It's My favourite so far! Very intense ;)

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